dont get me started on lil’ debbie star crunches…
“I mean, what the Hell is wrong with the names on these things? First of all, you’ve got the brand name, “Sun Chips”. It’s not a “Potato Crisp” or a “Corn Chip,” it’s gotta be a “Sun Chip.” We won’t even mention that it is physically impossible to take a chip off of the burning ball of gas that is our sun, let alone an edible one. So what does the “Sun” prefix imply? That they were baked out in the sun? Hah. They’re as deep-fried as the greasiest burger at McDonalds, I highly doubt that they’re even baked in an oven. Pheh. “Sun Chips” my ever-lovin ass.”
Not to change the subject, but while you’re at it, why not start in on “sunny delight”? THAT stuff is really repellent. And I hear that if you eat them at the same time you explode dramatically in a nuclear fireball. Apparently, this is what finally did in the dinosaurs. Asteroid shmasteroid.
I’m with KP235. Jester, you rule!
God, Sunny Delight pisses me right the hell off. For years and years, we accepted that kids everywhere prefered the taste of “Sunny D” (as the phresh phat kidz call it) to the taste of soda or, god forbid, the infamous Purple Stuff. From their tones of voice, the Purple Stuff was some kind of toxic byproduct of the rubber-making process that was only being stored in their refrigerators until the containment dump in Montana was finished. Sunny D was better than the Purple Stuff…and we liked things that way.
Then, things shifted. All of the sudden, the folks at Sunny Delight decided a dangerous Flavor Gap had developed between their product and the evil legions of Capri Sun and the Hi-C Empire. And they rolled out a line of new Sunny D flavors. Including grape.
Perhaps you are not hearing me properly here. Sunny D is now the Purple Stuff! Jesus Christ, pretty soon kids are going to start thinking dogs are cats and that craft mucilage tastes like sweet honey. How am I supposed to trust a soft drink that messes with the natural order of the goddamned universe?
Damn you, Sunny Delight R&D! Damn you all to hell!
Not that anyone asked or cares, but I like Sun Chips. But I don’t like that icky pseudo-orange-juice-wannabe.
Actually, they still make unflavored Doritos, period. They’re in every grocery store around here.
What I really miss are the Dorito Lights.
When it comes to really good threads, you just can’t touch Jester. Really, you can’t touch him, he’s a minor.
And as bad as Sunny D (see how cool I am?) is, it doesn’t hold a candle to L’il Hugs. Those square plastic jugs with the colored juice in them with the foil cap you can bite through to get at the “juice”? They have a bunch of different names, but it’s all the same swill. Gah!
Near-Nirvana on the salty-crunchy-snack front is Snyder’s® of Hanover Cheddar Cheese Pieces. They’re Bursting With Flavor! And you get that yellow-orange cheese powder on your hands. An extra-added bonus.
-Rue.
OK, Sun Chips are vile, Sunny Delight most certainly comes from satan, Moon Pies are blameless in their pure white trash ignorance, and anyone who says they’re going to eat “Little Debbie” should be compelled to register under Megan’s Law.
Of all these products, Sun Chips are the foulest because they paint themselves with this absolutely bogus sheen of “healthiness” when they are no healthier than a dozen donuts.
But the most transcendentally disgusting snack food of all has to be Combos, those little hollowed-out sections of the road to hell filled with some sort of cheez-whiz derivative. They are so foul that I literally cannot stop eating them, so fascinated am I by such an utterly unredeemable snack.
Bah! These are nothing compared to the horror and wrongness that is Reduced Fat Twinkies, Oreos and Chips Ahoy!
What is the point, I ask you?
And jesuslynch, you have Jackson Lemon Cookies and plain Doritos?
I hate you.
The marshmellows come from the honeymoon side where everything is sweet, of course…
For eating Doritos in the dark? Do they mount to the bag or the chip?? Sounds like a choking hazard. :eek:
Actually I think they kinda sound like ciggys. Blech.
Look, VP, that’s how they spelled it back then. 20 years ago, we didn’t have no phat frashing.
And Arden, yes, we have both. Send me your address and I’ll send you some of both. I gotta do something to disspell the hate, man.
Woo-Hoo!
Lem-on Cook-ies…
You have mail!
Jester, I used to love you m’boy. But c’mon! Sun Chips! The root of all snack chips? So wonderful I can only allow myself a few now and then as a treatie?
shakes head
Couldn’t you have chosen a less sacred philosophical point to become a maggot on? Like, say, abortion…I mean, I have friends that are anti choice, I could deal with one more. But Sun Chips? You’re killing me here…
Hm. I smell a new sig. No, wait, that’s just the toast burning. Well, can I use it as a sig anyway?
<runs to put out the fire>
And Medea’s Child, you’re comparing my dislike of a snack food to abortion? That’s insane. It’s nonsensical. It’s totally ungrounded. I mean, sure, I have weekly protests against the evils of Sun Chips, I accost people who buy Sun Chips in the store, telling them that they’re evil and sinful, and yes, I’ll admit that myself and a number of my anti-Sun Chip companions have bombed numerous Sun Chips factories in the name of the ever-powerful Snack God, but I tell you, abortion and Sun Chips don’t even compare as an issue.
Sun Chips are much more important. 
What are Sun Chips? Well, you can take a look at the fine print (here’s a magnifying glass) underneath the logo and determine that “Sun Chips” are really “multigrain snacks”. Although very truthful, “Multigrain Snacks” is just not a very “catchy” name. Therefore, they came up with the brand name of “Sun Chips”, and they relegated “multigrain snacks” to the realm of microscopic print. I think “Sun Chips” is just fine as a brand name. It certainly sounds more appetizing than “Lay’s”. Think about it.
The name “Sun Chips” so elegantly captures the zeitgeist of the early 1990’s. (You see, just thinking about Sun Chips makes me use words that my high school English teacher was fond of. I’ll fit “genre” in this somewhere–I know it!) You see, it fits so favorably into the genre (see!) of “healthy and enlightened” snack foods. Somehow, Sun Chips and Snapple were supposed to be “better” for you than Cool Ranch Doritos and Pepsi, even if both are essentially flavored corn chips and caffeinated sugar water. By eating these foods, you are better able to appreciate Nirvana (and Pearl Jam :).) You are also better able to contemplate an extended stay in your parents’ basement because the economy’s gone all to hell. Hey, enlightenment’s one thing, but we’ve also got to eat! That’s what the name “Sun Chips” says to me. Brilliant.
Elvis, have you noticed that you hardly ever see Combos for sale in stores, but they seem to thrive in vending machines? Tato Skins are the same way. No one buys them except in desperation. At least, if they are caught with them, they can pretend that they were motivated by desperation. Combos are fascinating. You can suck the filling out of the middle, or try to eat the cracker around the filling. The gooey filling lets you pretend that they are a fulfilling meal while you are working late. You know that it’s an empty promise (and empty calories), but you just can’t stop.
Your all wrong, Harvest Chedder IS the best. Nothing better hands down. Anyone who disagrees with me sucks.
Mmmmm…Tato Skins…so completely artificial, and the coup de grace–they have this artificial surface on one side that makes them look like the outside of a potato. That’s snack food genius if you ask me. It’s a horrible shame they’re relegated to the vending machines of the world. You should be able to buy gigantic economy-size bags of them.
So true. That gooey filling is almost cheese. A bag of Combos is practically a grilled cheese sandwich.
When I was in college there were these vending machines with all sorts of generic snack foods (imitations of brand-name snacks manufactured just for the “Tom’s” vending machines). The imitation PayDay bar was called a “full dinner.” When you were up real late studying or drinking, that “full dinner” looked pretty damned good.
Jester, if it brings you Joy, you may have this measly drivel of mine. With my blessings. 'Cause Joy is hot! Especially in those little skirts she wears.
You can get Tato Skins in larger-than-vending-machine-sized bags. At least around here. (Cincinnati) Why, just the other day I saw Tato Skins on my friendly grocer’s shelf and commented “Hey! Looky! Tato Skins!” and then bought my Snyder’s® of Hanover Cheddar Cheese Pieces.
-Rue.