Damn, what was the name of the novel about the nursing home where the ice cream machine always went screwy and did strange things? It sounds like you’ve inherited their machine matt.
Look on the bright side, if you ever get sick of DQ, you can always go work at Wendys. 
:d&r:
I love reading these job rants, and I now feel compelled to share this factoid:
There are no DQ’s near me, and I have never consumed any product from a DQ. I’ve seen ads and passed them now and again, but never indulged. Out of curiosity from these threads, the next time I see one when I’m travelling, I’m getting a Mudslide.
I don’t even know what’s in one, but I’m getting one, darn it.
Zette
OOOhhh, Zette, you are so bad! After knowing how much trouble they are, to still want to do it! I have to admit, though, after following the mudslide thread, not only did I go out and get myself one, I got two at once (one for my mom - no, really, it’s for my mom). They are pretty sweet. Do get one next time you can, especially traveling. It’s not like you’ll know the poor shmuck who’s got to create that thing, so it’s not so bad.
The first time I tried to order it, though, I was put off by the girl working the window. “We’re out of pecans.” Out of pecans? How in the hell can you be out of pecans? Your store is practically in the middle of a bleeding pecan orchard!! Go outside and pick them fuckers up! Drat, and curses - Foiled!!!
Second time, though, it worked like a charm. It was lovely (a sea of hot chocolate sauce, with a dollop of soft serve surrounded by a misty cloud of whipped cream, more chocolate sauce, then pecans dribbled on top with a cherry to finish), but I haven’t felt the need to go back for another.
Is that even possible? Being leftier than Matt is like being a degree colder than -273.16 C. 
You really are wasting your talents working retail. Get an office job and organize a worker’s soviet among the administrative assistants. Remember, “a revolutionary swims like a fish in the sea of the people.”
Why is it everyone thinks I’m a Québécois communist when I’m an anglophone Keynesian? 