Superheroes, bad PR, and why we can't have nice things,

Nothing will work. Once the public’s mind is made up, it’s next to impossible to change it.

What we need is a bigger scandal to cover this one. Luckily, Bob got some pictures with his phone of what happened between Captain Wonder and Eagle Girl in the last Christmas party at The Protector’s headquarters.

There really needs to be some expectancy management here. “I spent all day stopping a Tsunami, and injured myself fighting Godzilla. You guys know I don’t have to do this, right? I’m perfectly within my rights to not spend all day every day busting my hump and risking my life to save yours - there’s probably a million ways someone with my abilities could make an honest living. But instead, I saved probably a few million lives on the day that video was taped. I, like everyone else involved, was unclear of the threat level in that Texas case. Well I’m sorry, but going after every John, Wayne, and Gacy is not my MO. Law enforcement can usually handle it. That they couldn’t in this case… It’s a tragedy, and I feel deeply sorry for the men and women who lost their lives. But maybe we should keep it in perspective. My heart goes out to the families who lost loved ones, fathers, mothers… But to blame this on me is absurd. If I would have known, I would have been there. I didn’t, and I’m sorry. One more thing. To record the conversation without my knowledge or consent and dishonestly edit it to slander me? Karen, you should be glad I hold myself to ethical standards that you clearly don’t.”

But what if Bob makes a mint out of sponsorships? He wouldn¡t want Nike or GM to drop him.

Getting Bob to look like Candy, Candy is going to be difficult, so we hire someone who does as his spokesperson and then proceed to release the uncut video, wrapped up in the kind of insincere apologies to nobody which have been medically proven to cause diabetes.
Other people have already questioned the legality of Ms Bitch’s behavior. If there is any way to sue her pants off or any legal complaint which may be filed, an association [halo]with no direct or indirect links to Bob[/halo] will.

And we need to get Bob to use less oil. It’s a wonder he doesn’t fry up any time he’s within 10 meters of a heat source.

I can only get behind part of this plan – the “recruit people whose asses Bob has saved in the past to speak up for him” part. They shouldn’t be hard to find.

The apology and contrition part seems to be at odds with your stated and quite understandable desire to have hot monkey sex with on a regular basis with the Son of Athena. It buys into the idea that Bob has to be on duty at all times. Not only is that impossible even for him – as the time of the innocent, he was already in such a state that, were he a fireman or cop, he’d have been ordered off duty – but it’s a bad idea overall. If Bob can’t ever take a moment for himself, his kid, whoever he’s shtuppig, he’s a slave to the world. Hell, he’s a slave who’s PAYING FOR THE PRIVILEGE, since he pays for the operation out of his own pocket. Every time he tries to go on a date or family event somebody will point out that people are rioting in Africa and starving in Span. In time he’ll lose all connection to the world, and thus all stake in it. I think most heroes, super- and otherwise, do what they do not for the greater good but for the people they’re connected to. Frodo wasn’t saving Gondor; the only Gondorian he ever knew was dead. He was saving the Gamgees and the Cottons and Farmer Maggot. Deny Bob that connection and eventually he’ll say, “Fuck this shit.”

Pointing out the dead FBI agents’ errors is also dicey. It smacks of blaming the victim. Bob may not even be willing to do that, as he apparently knew them (as soon as the serial killer was mentioned, he identified exactly who was tracking them down). theI think he has to do as others have suggested: paint the incident as an horrible accident that could not be avoided with the information they and he had.

The testimonal and petty revenge on Karen are both good ideas, though. I’d send over a Rhymer Enterprises space-time skipper so you can pop over to Bob’s world and try yuour lluck, but guys like me have to avoid guys like him.

Because coal is a valuable commodity that can be burned to produce energy, while diamonds are essentially worthless except as industrial abrasives.

When he first met her and didn’t remember her name, she was walking away and he said, “hey…hey…Baby Girl!” Yeah, THAT’s the first thing you call someone to get their attention in a professional setting. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: How about “Miss”? He didn’t know if she would care at that point, and he did it anyway. Fist of anger.

A commodity is worth what people are willing to pay for it. Sometimes that is a function of its utility for practical purposes; sometimes it’s not. I expect that, if Bob CAN do the coal-into-diamond thing, the uniqueness of the gems he created would make them more valuable than average. And in on of the first Bob threads, I think I established that DeBeers was paying him a million bucks a year NOT to make diamonds.

Yes, but doing nothing will make him look like he doesn’t care and the “Fuck you guys, I spent the whole day tongue-wrasslin’ with Godzilla! What more do you want?!” option makes him look like a prick. Making excuses: “I was tired! Even I can’t be everywhere at once! She sprung (sprang?) it on me at a bad moment!” makes him look like a defensive whiner.

Like, “I deeply regret the lives that were lost and the dismissive tone you heard in that video. While I can never replace their loved ones, I promise to do my damndest to ensure that the families left bereft are provided for. In the future, I promise to carefully consider all aspects of a mission before deciding whether to take it on or not, rather than making snap decisions in the heat of the moment.”

Like I said, it just has to sound good, and he doesn’t have to promise to be on duty 24/7.

Hey, Bob’s the hero, not me. I’m a lawful evil workaday schlub just trying to do my job, which in this case is to unbesmirch his reputation before UnderArmour cancels his photo shoot for the Spring 2017 tights line.

There’s going to be victim-blaming anyway; better it be under our control. Nothing’s stopping him from going on the record as saying what you said. That would be even better because he’ll look like a good guy for not letting the FeeBees take the fall when he easily could, and getting them back on his side.

I found her grade-school diary, too. :cool: And that’s all right, I’ll just have to admire his glorious pecs from afar… siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh…

I’m going to assume that was a Gideon episode. Nothing that happens in Gideon episodes counts. Do YOU want Gideon back? :eek:

I agree that it was inappropriate that first time and only Morgan’s gorgeousness saved him from a slap. But by the time the show “ended” (nothng that happened after Prentiss left for good counts either :D), she was sexualizing him in conversation as much or more as he was more. Strangers who overheard them talking always assumed they were, at the very least, fuck buddies, and more likely newlyweds. Hell, I’m not sure Hotch and Rossi were sure how to describe them.

It’s important for Bob to not be contrite, because there’s nothing to be contrite for. The Samaritan reference above is a great one (and everybody should read *Astro City *comics, seriously).

If it’s important to Bob that he maintains good relationships with his corporate sponsors, then that’s something that can be handled at my level. Presumably Verizon and Microsoft and Oracle/Sun all have a corporate so-and-so whose only job is to liaison with the Bob-X offices, so they can all come down for a visit and we can chat. Do they really want to pull sponsorship over this mess? We all know that Bob doesn’t give a crap about publicity and we all know that two days from now Bob is going to be redirecting a zombie tornado away from Topeka or whatever and that’s going to be the only thing on the news. Who cares about what a bunch of rednecks are protesting over today?

So, wait… If that’s what Bob looks like, how did he get the tattoos?

Tell you what I’ll trade you coal for diamonds kilogram for kilogram.

Take your nitpicking back to Rivendell, Elrond. I said Bob looks RATHER like Shemar Moore, not identical in every detail.

But if you insist on an explanation: Bob wasn’t born with his powers; they just appeared one day. Presumably he got the tattoos before Athena checked the schedule for the foretold awakening of kaiju and whatnot and turned them on.

I already detested Mandy Patinkin with the deepest of passions after Chicago Hope. Hell is listening to him croon in falsetto. This just put the nail in the coffin and set it on fire.

I love Patinkin. I watched CHICAGO HOPE only for him. I have way too many Patinkin albums for a straight guy. I even thought he did a good job AS Jason Gideon, who was, I think, deliberately played as unlikeable. I’m just glad the character left.

Ooooh, now there’s a good idea! You have you’re generic online dating sites like:
[ul]
[li]e-harmony[/li][li]Match[/li][li]Plenty of Fish[/li][/ul]

The numerous religious & niche online dating sites of Spark Network, whether you’re:
[ul]
[li]Christian[/li][li]Jewish[/li][li]LDS[/li][li]Gospel[/li][li]Black[/li][li]Silver (50+)[/li][li]BBW[/li][li]Deaf[/li][li]Military[/li][/ul]

There’s even ones by Profession.
But has anyone started Superhero Singles? Noooooo. :mad:
I would so sign up for that. instead I sit here all alone. :frowning:

P.S. Azeotrope, how you doin’? :wink:

Well hel-loooo, wall crawler :wink:

See what a GREATidea it is; it’s not even live yet & already has its first match! :cool:

Azeotrope, Friday evening good for you?

Pfaugh. And what would you know about superheroes, eh, eight-legs?