Sure, you say,having superpowers is a wonderful thing, but what if they are used maliciously? Or what if the superpowers themselves are malicious? What if you were sort of a voodoo master, and could harm people at will?
Apparently, and unbeknown to me, I’ve got some sort of superpower. According to my homeless brother, I’ve got that power.
Over the decades, I’ve tried so many ways to help him. Since he claims he’s unable to work, I offered to pay him if he were to volunteer at certain places. Offered to pay for counseling. Offered to hire an attorney to help him get disability. You name it, I’ve offered it. Wrote far too many emails offering help on how to manage finances, but it would always come down to one thing: he wanted my cash. My mother did that for years, gave him cash every month, and he wanted me to supplement that, which I never would.
He can’t show up to work everyday, but has ideas which will make millions and billions of dollars. I would point out why they wouldn’t work, but he’s not sane, so it didn’t make any sense to continue.
So, every now and then, he will write me and ask for money, and after a dozen years or so of this, I finally stopped engaging with him, and just send a response " ‘Bob’, I can’t help you." which pisses him off enough that he writes hate mail to me. The worse one was where he accused me of killing my son (Pough-chan, who was born and then died hours later).
Anyhoo, this is the lasted. He send me a request for money, and I sent back my standard reply. This is his response, (with his spelling).
So, apparently, I have voodoo powers now, in that my negativity can cause his back to hurt.
This got me thinking, what is the best way to capitalize on this? Have people send me money to think negatively to mothers-in-law? Do my voodoo power affect everyone in an organization or if someone pays me to hate call centers, do I direct my negativity to the person on the phone or the supervisor?
Should I start doing infomercials? Have operators stand by? Give discounts to Dopers? Start hanging out in the Pit and take sides?
Are there any volunteers for testing so I can see how far the pain goes? Is it ethical to conduct experiments on cashiers who are stupid enough to not be able to give the correct change?
How much should I charge? Take a sliding fee based on the ability to pay? But what if I feel they don’t give me enough money, and I start to feel negative toward them? Does that qualify for an additional discount?
I’m new to the voodoo world. Help me out.