Seriously? Nobody “chooses” to be transgender.
Me too, 6 or 7. And it wasn’t social pressure, I assure you. I had no idea anyone else had such, umm, fascinations… I mean it wasn’t just that I liked girls (which I did) (weird enough), it was a down there kind of thing and everyone would surely ridicule me and whisper about me if it were known that I liked looking at the part of girls that they PEE from.
…“transgender lifestyle”?
There is another reason why ten year olds should feel some pressure to decide when it comes to gender.
If you are (and I’ll probably say this awkwardly) biologically male and you transition before puberty, a lot of the male attributes that you’ll get as part of puberty can be stopped. You can avoid big hands and an adams apple.
Its a huge decision for a ten year old to make - and with gender and sexuality so confused to even grownups, it would be easy to get wrong. But understanding that you can understand why some people think kids should feel some pressure.
Janeeyre. Good luck with your kid - as WhyNot implied, name changes are hard. I have a number of friends who have moved just from Tammy to Tamara (or some other version of their name) and it takes long time to make that simple switch. Remind them of that, that it isn’t just about gender, its also about habits.
The gift of a name you gave them at birth, the gift you fretted about and tried out a zillion of, is being set aside. Its normal to feel rejected, its probably the gift you put the most thought in in your entire life.
I really hope your “sensible and pragmatic” self doesn’t have gender-questioning or LGBTQ kids then. For their sakes.
God in heaven. Is it satisfying to know that you’re so assuredly right about the world in the face of actual facts and research and real people telling you differently?
Er… where, exactly, are people subject to “peer pressure, bullying, or societal pressures” to change their gender? If anything, the pressure is in the opposite direction, to NOT change their gender, to conform to the plumbing between their legs, be good little girls or manly little boys.
Someone who is transexual is NOT having a “normal childhood” anymore than a kid born missing a limb is having a “normal childhood” or a child requiring multiple serious surgeries to survive is having a “normal childhood”. You can’t see your baby’s internal heart defect, either, but if you ignore it your odds of having a dead kid go up significantly. You can see that your kid is transgender, but if you ignore the signs and symptoms your chances of having a dead kid go up significantly.
Well, you know, Caitlyn Jenner was on a magazine cover. Ergo everyone who changes gender will be on a magazine cover. And who doesn’t want to be on a magazine cover? I’m changing sex right now!
You know who else was on a magazine cover?
Well, that was my original plan, but my beer hall putsch was unsuccessful because my supporters refused to stop drinking beer.
You appear to be really young and think you know it all. You should talk less and listen more.
Yeah, I rolled my eyes at that one. Good grief, we’re falling rapidly down the rabbit hole of “kids don’t know their own gender (unless they’re cisgender).”
I knew I was transgender at age 8. I’ve worked with scores of children with gender identity disorders. Some of them do end up being transgender, some do not. Some fall into a bi-gender, genderqueer, or questioning category. None of them became transgender due to “exposure to media” and none have been pressured by parents into being transgender (it’s almost always the opposite).
We don’t choose to be transgender. I’ve met maybe a thousand transgender or gender-non-conforming individuals, worked with them professionally and casually, and I’ve never met someone who “chose” to be transgender.
And what on earth is a “transgender lifestyle?” My “transgender lifestyle” is to be an engineer, professor, wife, political activist, and charity worker. My transgender friends and acquaintances come from all walks of life, all backgrounds, religions, races, creeds, and national origins. We are attorneys, doctors, accountants, teachers, craftspeople, artists, musicians, writers, blue collar workers, day laborers, unemployed, and homeless. The youngest transkid I know is 5; the oldest transperson in their mid-80’s. We range in political bent from Ferguson-protesting Buddhist liberals to hard-line right-winger NRA-lifer Trump voters (shudder).
“Transgender lifestyle?” One might as well say “human lifestyle.”
And, as evidenced by the thread immediately before yours, that’s not how it works: at age 10, they start getting counseling and therapy and they begin living as the other gender, and nothing permanent is done until years later, once everybody concerned is convinced that this is the way things should be.
Well, it’s great that you didn’t want to get into water for saying that kids should be able to do whatever they want, so long as they fit your definition of correct. Fortunately for all those questioning kids out there, you’re not in charge.
Couldn’t agree more. Say. What do you suppose we should do with those kids who HAVE figured out what their sexuality is?
Do you realize that, by the time some of these kids reach an age that you’d be okay with them considering transition, they’ve already started to commit suicide because they weren’t allowed to consider transition?
Not quite in line with the main part of the thread, but I did want to note that I’m hearing more these days about kids who are not all that specific regarding the gender they’re attracted to. I think they’re using the word “pansexual” versus bisexual. I think this is mostly daughters-by-birth - I haven’t specifically heard of any boys-by-birth with that attitude
This is coming from several parents of kids the same age as my two. The case I mentioned above (about the F-to-M trans kid, who is the same age as my Moon Unit), she identified as lesbian early on, then after starting down the gender change, had a long-term girlfriend. He now has a boyfriend.
But what about the times when it really is just a phase? I went through a phase when I wanted to be a boy, from about 6 to about 8 or so; then I went through puberty and was definitely a girl.
I’m really, really, really, really glad I grew up back then and not now. I’m glad I was allowed to grow into a woman, and that the adults didn’t try to transition me to being male when I was that young.
Do you think the adults in your life could have done that to you? Transition you into being a different gender against your will?
Do you think that transgendered people are just kids with lousy parents who, I don’t know, tricked them into thinking they were the “wrong” gender?
Why do you suppose a parent might want to trick their child that way? And again - do you have any support at all for the idea that children can be tricked into being a gender they don’t want?
What would it have taken, do you suppose, to trick or coerce you into being a transgendered person?
Who are you talking to?
And who said anything about “tricked”? If your post was directed at me, I wasn’t talking about being tricked - I was talking about adults making presumably well-meaning long term decisions based on what a grade school kid thinks they want.
Sheesh.
Okay. You wanted to be a boy. I get that. Me too, at one point. There was a time there when girls were super annoying and bitchy, and I really envied the boy friendships I saw. Plus, I wanted a pocket knife.
That’s not being transgender. A transgender not doesn’t want to be a boy. A transgender boy is a boy. See my last post for physiological study of this phenomenon.
When you’re 8, that can be a distinction without a difference. Hell, I was pretending that my external female genitalia was a pee-pee and tried urinating standing up over a floor urinal. I’m glad no supportive, well-meaning adult gave me hormones because of this.
There is a great deal of difference, and doctors trained in evaluating the difference. This is no longer the mystery it once was.