Now I’m the receptionist at work, which, naturally means I have to answer the phones 
Some of these people sound SO pissy that they have to talk to me first. I don’t even mean the salespeople or anything. Just random people.
Look, I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk to you either, but I’m faking being polite, you can do the same. I don’t need your sarcastic thank you as I transfer you.
Oh, I forgot my bitch from yesterday - I drove my car over to sedation dentistry on Tuesday, then decided to walk back to get it yesterday, after looking up the walking route on Google maps and seeing it was only a two hour walk. I guess it was my mistake for believing Google maps - I won’t make that mistake again. 
Three solid hours of walking, roads I was supposed to take that weren’t there, going down one side of a hill and back up the next side when I’m pretty sure there was a road that went straight across, etc. It was a helluva good workout!
I believe he was eating it with his hands, though I wasn’t really staring at him. 
I believe it was warmed up in the microwave.
And yes, Nava, it was quite big. Though he brought spaghetti, too, so the fish head wasn’t a complete meal.
You are a bad person. I wish you worked here. 
Fucking telemarketers. For the third time in two days, fuckers have called and woken the baby. The fucking thing is now unplugged and soon to be in the fucking trash but I’m still pissed at the fucking telemarketers. Assholes, all of them. On top of that, why would a legit company have a blocked number? Fuckers .
Now I have the “Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads” song stuck in my head. Not Yum in the slightest.
Thank you, bank, for the overdraft fee that was applied after you decided to reverse the order of a deposit and a withdrawal.
Yesterday, I checked my balance online. It showed:
Balance → $5
This morning, that had been changed to:
Balance → -$30
:eek: :dubious: 
:rolleyes: :mad:
I have an alternate version, which I think of every time I see that Meth thread.
Meth Head, meth head
Stupid Fucking Meth head
Meth head, meth head
Smoke it up, dumb!
Now you’ll have this version stuck in your head.
Subcontractors. Bah.
Also, a big fuck you to whoever is doing something fishy with my debit card. Now it’s been cancelled and I have to wait for a new one. I love my debit card and I am going to be sad being without for a few days. If only I knew who they were, I’d send them a fish head for lunch. On the bright side, no actual financial loss, just inconvenience. But still, I’m cranky.
You unplugged your fucking baby?? :eek:
Perhaps these people need a refresher viewing of The Incredible Journey as to why one should keep porcupines and dogs far apart.
I sympathise with you. I hike along the Blue Ridge Parkway almost every week. 99% of the people I meet with dogs have off-leash dogs. Those are, according to Parkway regulations, illegal. I carry pepper spray with me on every hike. Not in case I meet a bear, those are no problem. The spray is for ill-mannered dogs (and, in a perfect world, their ill-mannered owners).
One of my best friends just recommended this on Facebook: ‘Reconnaissance units’ stake out houses for burglar gangs
To me it reads like pure 100% urban-myth bolloxology. Like, if you’re a burglar, why the fuck would you tell any other burglar who happens to wander past where the good stuff is, instead of nicking it yourself? And if you’re gathering info for some wily criminal gang, why not just, like, TEXT each other? Also, why isn’t there any official account, ever, of it actually happening - just accounts of residents’ associations getting into a flap about a rumour of it happening?
My best friend is a highly intelligent, thoughtful person. But sweet Jaysus - just because it hits your emotion buttons doesn’t mean it’s actually true.
I can answer the 
bit. The bank makes $30 the second way. I would go down to the bank and go :mad::dubious::mad: on them. And you may use “putz” as needed.
Oh, I know why they did it that way ($$$) - that was my “WTF I thought I had five bucks?” face.
I thought about going down there, but I very recently got them to reverse a fee that was my fault (math error - not deliberate), and I know they won’t do it for me again for awhile.
Mostly upset because I had been worried about possibly overdrafting, and yesterday everything seemed all fine and dandy, which was a weight off my shoulders, and today’s balance ended up being a nasty surprise. I also blame myself for not having gotten used to their stupid tricks, yet.
C’est ma vie.
To whoever gave Omar the crazy homeless guy a whistle- I will hunt you down and put somewhere you don’t want to think about.
You have my complete sympathy and support for this rant. I started this thread several years ago over the very same thing.
(As an aside, the children I referred to in that rant are now 18, 13, and 11 years old. How in the hell did that happen???)
Do you have the first one on paper?
If so, your state AG’s office may be very interested in the sudden change in your account.
No, unfortunately I don’t. But dammit, I know that’s what it said, because I was so relieved when I saw the positive balance and no overdraft fee! Live and learn. And don’t trust Key Bank, I guess.
That’s really shitty, Ms Pumpkin My bank does the exact opposite, and I love them for it. There have been times when an auto withdrawal comes through before I can get to the bank with a deposit, or before I transfer money over, and my balance shows a negative and I have heart failure. But, if I get money in the account on the same day the account registers the credits first and then the debits, even if the debit came out at 9 am and the deposit didn’t go in until 1 pm.
It occurs to me that enough people insist on taking their unleashed dogs there, a good name might soon be “Nosequill Park.” 