I’ve often had a niggling urge to write a story - a castaway story in which one or more members of a group are permanently marooned away from Earth and try to recreate the Bible. I think it would have to be a committee of three so that they could argue over it properly. They will, of course, cooperate with the rest of the survivors in re-creating History and Government and Science and Technology.
What verses could you contribute to such a group? No fair looking anything up. If you make a mistake, that’s part of the process.
Also, do you have the names of the books of the Bible memorized? Do you know a summary of what each book contains? Do you know stories, but can’t connect them to a particular book? Do you have an idea of the overall cosmology in which the stories are set? Or a chronology?
If you want to play and think your contribution is too long, feel free to mail it to me. Please don’t correct anyone’s contribution. As, in, don’t look it up and supply the proper verse. But if you remember a verse in a different way, feel free to add it. Just don’t look it up first.
I’m mostly interested in discovering which verses or stories people are most familiar with, and by exclusion, which verses get ignored. I’m especially interested in the respnses of people who haven’t studied the Bible extensively.
I wrote this story in high school. I called it “Today I Am Mark Twain.” Wannabe writer in the future can’t get published, goes on space voyage, ship crashes, rewrites the classics for the survivors.
Anyway, to contribute:
Genesis: In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God. And the vastness was without form, upon the deep. And God separated the water from the sky, day from night, did he. And the evening and the morning was the first day.
I remember that women shall not lay with women as with men, or lay with asses, or the brothers of their husbands, or their father’s brothers, or they shall be unclean and any food they prepare shall be unclean and also they shall be stoned to death and the ass shall be stoned to death too. Or something.
And also I remember the bit about “where is your brother” “I am not my brothers keeper” - that story is actually pretty good. It’s got favoritism and jealousy and rage and murder and punishment and eternal wandering and stuff.
Also, Jezebel was a whore. She wore makeup so they killed her and she deserved it. Or something.
Jezebel was thrown from her tower by eunichs, and someone drove a chariot over her. Or she was eaten by rabid dogs. Or were they pigs? The Chinese have an interestingly similar story about an overreaching woman.
And there was something about reincarnation, but physically. And somehow it became spiritually. Maybe that was the interpretation.
Actually my favorite part of the bible is the book of Revelations. I can make up stuff like that without even trying!
“The seas boiled, and the earth burst into flame, and the Beast crawled out and has three numbers upon its brow” or similar. It’s been a long time since I read the bible. I read it all the way through. There were a lot of begats in the first chapter. I also remember that I didn’t like Paul at all.
I can give you the first two words of Acts of the Apostles:
Dear Theophilos.
I could also probably give you a decent summary of Luke’s Gospel, since that was the one we studied for our Religeous Education exam at school. But nothing word for word.
Interesting question - (my bias, this would all be from a protestant Christian perspective, which throws another wrinkle into the question)
the names of the non-apocryphal books and the names of a few apocryphal ones as well (but I’d miss some). Basic summary of all of the non-minor-prophet books of the Old Testament, and Hosea and Jonah. (the rest of the minor prophets kind of run together - which they shouldn’t, but they do).
A basic summary of the non-epistles in the New Testament, and Romans, Hebrews, Philemon, James, the Peters, and the Johns (the rest of the letters run together - which they shouldn’t, but they do).
I’m pretty sure about the chronology. And I think if prompted (“wasn’t there something about someone named Jael or something?”) I could sketch in the general story (for most of the histories) and put it in the appropriate book(s).
A bunch of random stuff that would come to mind at bizarre intervals, but I’ve got almost no idea where any of it is found (I was good at memorizing the words, and horrible at memorizing the references. Luckily, as I’m not stranded yet, concordances are wonderful things).
I always thought (well since I read it somewhere) that it was a mixture of Ezekiel 25:17 (I think) and bits from the 23rd? Psalm, but I will admit I’ve never been a great reader of the bible myself.
Actually, that’s John, I believe. For what it’s worth, I can write the first bit of that in the original Greek.
I came up with 8 Commandments off the top of my head. I’m sure the last two wouldn’t elude me for long.
I did a one week bible study on the first third of Mark. I believe I could recreate the major points of it pretty faithfully.
Genesis and Exodus have all the cool non-Jesus stories (probably not in proper order): Creation, Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Noah and the Ark, Joseph and his brothers, David and Goliath, Moses and the Exodus… I could recreate those well enough for the general idea.
In college, we called this game “Desert Island Bible.” I can do a few psalms (one or two in Hebrew as well), the opening of Genesis, and, if the actual words aren’t an issue, the content, in order, for Genesis, Exodus, Esther, and a chunk of Deuteronomy. Why? Because I was a Talmudic comentary proofreader.
The only part that I could come close to quoting accurately (not perfectly, but getting the gist of it) would be the 13th chapter of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, since it is one of my favorite parts of the Bible. “If I speak in the tongues of men and angels but have not love [‘charity’ in some versions], I am but a resounding gong or crashing cymbal…If I have faith to move mountains, and give up my body to the flames, but have not love, I am nothing.”
I think most people are familiar with the part of that chapter that goes “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. … Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
If I sat down and thought about it, I could recall a lot of little snippets and the general gists of many stories from the Bible. While I don’t recall the exact chapter/verse, another part of the Bible that comes to mind readily are the parables Jesus used about how a shepherd will leave 99 sheep to go look for one lost sheep and how a woman will look around for a dropped coin…so God also takes more joy in one sinner repenting than in 99 virtuous people.
God had a son and it made him happy so he invented Santa to give us presents. Then god lost his son and he wasn’t happy, but being such a good chap he invented bunnies to give us chocolate eggs.
