The problem is Scylla’s right testicle is also a rock. An enlarged retracted inflamed and painful one.
Scylla has epididimitis according to the urologist. At first they thought it was hernia, but today things began to move from a general dull ache down there to a pretty specific and localized region.
Epididimitis is a fairly common infection that can occur for several different reasons.
The little tubes that run to and fro from Scylla’s right testicle have become painfully inflamed and infected.
What does it feel like?
Grab your right testicle (ladies will have to grab the testicle of a male friend,) and gradually squeeze with ever increasing pressure. Start off nice and easy, but gradually keep increasing the pressure. Do this all day.
Scylla is on antibiotics. Scylla is also on Vicodin.
Vicodin makes things seem just slightly odd.
Bad right testicle!
Bad!
Bad!
Bad!
Why can’t you be normal like the left one?
You deserve a spanking (that might not be such a good idea though.)
Baby Scylla wants to sit on daddy’s lap.
Mrs. Scylla isn’t exactly attracted to Mr. Scylla right now, nor is she particularly impressed by his plight.
As a reader of this thread you are required to express both a condemnation of the unacceptable behavior of Scylla’s right testicle, as well as sympathy for Scylla’s ignoble plight, and pain.
Perhaps later I will compose a poem to Vicodin who is my new hero.
Poor Scylla, I sympathize that your right testicle has been so very naughty. My husband had epiditimitis and was passing stones at the same time earlier this year. It could be worse, I can’t take vicodin at all. I suggest you don’t spank your naughty ball. You could make it even more angry.
Maybe you should squeeze your left nut HARDER, to offset the pain of the right nut. It will be a difficult task, but it will be do-able.::I digress…as an adolescent I was once stung, repeatedly, by a Portugese Man-O-War. I was with a friend, and we decided it would be much better to save face, then to tell the lifegaurd “we got stung”. So we opted to go with rubbing beach sand over the wounds to somehow scour out the stingers and take the pain away. Either it worked, or the elapsed time for stinger efficacy passed, but we walked away with a few more facial hairs!::
So grab that left nut and squeeze until the right nut-pain is nullified. After that, put alcohol on both nuts, via the buccal cavity, and take twice the recommended doseage of Vicodin. You’ll be alright for a few hours.
It is a sad time when nuts can go bad. Back in the day you didn’t see bad nuts, it just didn’t happen. I blame it on lack of parenting. I suggest you send that nut to the corner and rub his nose in it and such.
Uh, okay.
Is it supposed to feel like carpal tunnel syndrome verging on arthritis? As an exercise, this doesn’t translate well. Just a WAG, but maybe Baby Scylla might explain some of your wife’s laissez-faire attitude.
Not the baby: how the baby got here.
That said, sincere sympathy for your pain, Scylla. Take your meds, curl up in your Chair Of Power and heal up.
You know, Lynn, it must be difficult to be married to someone who isn’t dedicated to fighting ignorance. My sympathies.
<snicker>
Scylla, since I have little or no practical experience with the general anatomy in question [sub]strangely enough, though, I know more about it than JDT…[/sub] I’ll just leave it at wishing you a speedy recovery.
Scylla, my deepest sympathies on your traumatized testicle. As a female, I cannot know your pain (and even if I was a guy I would fervently hope to never know your pain), but I am wishing you a speedy recovery, if only so that Baby Scylla can resume his/her rightful place on your lap and Mrs. Scylla will not have to hear you whine anymore.
<ducks & runs>
In all seriousness, I hope you feel better very soon.
While I can’t really feel your pain, I’m sorry to hear about it. Ouch!
See, I still think that this and your recent intestinal issues all stem from your hubris in declaring that your life is perfect. Someone in the universe realized that they have committed a grave oversight, and are making up for lost time.
Scylla, I am sorry your testicle hurts. I wanted to try the squeezing exercise you gave us. When I asked the LIONsob to disrobe so I could begin , he got a strange look on his face. He also said something about murder but I’m not sure what because I was busy running away .
Your testicle has been very naughty to cause you such pain. I am sure Mrs. Scylla will spank it for you, if you ask nicely .
Enjoy your Vicodan. Just remember not to try driving any tanks , trains or bulldozers while under it’s influence.
