This morning I encountered what would be a classic ‘only in America’ story, except that it’s actually happening in Sweden. The country has agreed to take in thousands of refugees from Syria, and the government is apparently struggling to find adequate short-term housing for all of them. Now a Wild West theme park named High Chaparral has agreed to let 400 refugees live on the grounds temporarily. They will be housed in buildings with potted cacti, period decor, and murals of western scenes. It’s not clear what will happen when the park reopens in Spring, but the owner suggested that some of the refugees might be employed at the park.
On the other hand, they apparently have a clear policy about who can play who at this park. “We have a real native American village with real native Americans, and in the Mexican village we have real Mexicans. Everything is authentic. It’s just like it was in the 19th century.” So, although Hollywood may have gotten away with Mexicans playing Arabs in the old days, it won’t work the other way here. What a shame.
But then it occurred to me, what High Chaparral really needs is to just rethink some of the myths and legends of the old West, and then there would be plenty of job opportunities for the refugees. They could have:
[ul]
[li]The legendary shoot-out at the Iraqi Corral, with Wahhabi Earp and Doc Khalil Dai.[/li][li]Re-enact the story of Butch Kasmir and the Sunnidance Kid. Hilarious hi-jinks ensue as their merry gang robs trains, abducts Yazidi, and bombs Russian airliners.[/li][li]Saloon scenes with no alcohol and burlesque dancing girls in headscarves.[/li][li]Musical dinner theater with some old cowboy ballads, slightly reworded:[/li][/ul]
To the town of Al-Qamishli rode a mullah one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him, didn’t have to much to say
No one dared to ask his business, though fluent in Arabic
For the stranger there among them had a big Koran on his hip
big Koran on his hip
In this town there lived a terrorist by the name of Texas Ahmed
Many cartoonists had drawn Mohammed and those many cartoonists were dead
He was a radical Islamic extremist though a youth of twenty six
And he’d behead fifteen journalists while fighting for ISIS
while fighting for ISIS
There was forty feet between them when they stopped to fight it out
This would be a mighty contest, all the townsfolk had no doubt
Texas Ahmed pulled the detonator on his hidden suicide vest
And he blew himself to pieces, no one ever found his chest
no one ever found his chest