The thing I miss the most about BBS’s is the taglines. I loved having a gigantic list of taglines for any occasion. And I’m going to share them now. Most come from the Simpsons or Bloom County. If only message boards made it easy to switch taglines or sigs with every post… sigh

“A,” he would say, then “B,” “C” would usually follow…
“Are you being sarcastic?” “I don’t even know anymore.”
“D’oh!” “A deer!” “A female deer!”
“How To Serve Humans”! It’s a cookbook!!!
“Kill, Bart! Kill, Bart!” “Kill BART! Kill BART!”
“Makin’ bacon on the beach.” “Hmmm… bacon…”
“Now what?” “Now we dance.” “How?” “With abandon.”
“Ok, what’re we trying to capture here?” “Consciousness.”
“You got me a… black Kleenex?” “It’s LINGERIE!”
6 AM and already the boy ain’t right.
A caress is better than a career.
A cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air.
A cat is always on the wrong side of the door.
A cat, even when motionless, seems to flow.
A day without denial is a day you have to face.
A dog is a dog, a bird is a bird, and a cat is a person.
A dog is prose; a cat is a poem.
A good goat will do that.
A man who is wrapped up in himself makes a small package.
A misfired synapse with a bent configuration…
A shut mouth gathers no foot.
Ack! Thppt!!
Alert! There’s a shriner in the punch!
All day it’s “Hack 'em off!”; at night it’s “Here boy!”
An old man in love is like a flower in winter.
Anger is an acid that destroys its vessel.
Asphinctersaywhuh? Exactly.
At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
Bad corpse! Stop scaring Smithers!
Be aggressive! B-E aggressive! B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!
Be quiet or I’ll hit you with my rosary!
Between two evils, I pick the one I never tried before.
Boring questions lie outside the cat’s scheme of life.
Boy, those Seminoles, they sure drink a lot of coffee…
Broccoli… large vegetable or tiny tree?
Can you patter Romany? Can you fake a bosh?
Cats are deaf to the interruptive nonsense of humans.
Cats become a home’s visible soul.
Cats never strike a pose that isn’t photogenic.
Cats speak to poets in their natural tongue.
Courtney Love: Official skank of the ‘96 Olympics.
Crappe’ diem: Have a shitty day.
Crime must pay or politicians wouldn’t seek re-election.
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
Dead feelings are cool… down lower I sink…
Dead: Metaphysically challenged.
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.
Does emotional music have quite an effect on you?
Does life seem worthwhile to you? Here’s how to order!
Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die.
Don’t taunt happy fun ball.
Don’t thank ME; they’re YOUR shortcomings.
Drag racing, the sport of queens.
Ejaculation! Tribulation! I swallow… I swallow…
Elegance has a bad effect on my constitution.
Every day is lesbian lover day!
Everybody loves you when you’re bi.
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow.
Everything I never liked about you is seeping into me.
Everything was roses when we held on to the guns.
Fiction reveals that reality obscures.
Fooled you, Flanders! Made you think your family’s dead!
Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
Go on and wring my neck like when a rag gets wet.
Go. I don’t converse with pagans.
Gotcha. Can’t win, don’t try.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.
He who throws dirt loses ground.
Here is your newest issue of “Gigantic Asses”.
Here lies Edmund Blackadder and he’s bloody annoyed.
Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved.
Hurry! Each Matlock could be our last!
I am doll parts, bad skin, doll heart.
I am not at all the sort of person you and I took me for.
I can get a handle on anything this side of deranged.
I could pull a better cartoon outta my a-hey kids!
I don’t want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine.
I fake it so real that I am beyond fake.
I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.
I have bursts of being a lady but it doesn’t last long.
I have principles-if you don’t like them, I have others.
I have seen Reno and Reno is.
I have to change this. There’s a sheep in it.
I literally have hornets swarming in my brain.
I lost my reputation young, but never missed it.
I love it so much it just turns to hate.
I must have died alone, a long, long time ago.
I need you to feel this, I can’t stand to burn too long.
I no longer fear Hell because I’ve been to Kamp Krusty.
I see you shiver with antici…pation.
I still wet my pants every time I see you; who are you?
I strongly suspect you’re carbonating my hormones.
I think I’m dumb… or maybe just happy :slight_smile:
I used to be with it but then they changed what “it” was.
I was up above it. Now I’m down in it.
I would follow you anywhere–but only out of curiosity.
I’m a “worrywart”? A worry-WART??? AN ANXIOUS PIMPLE???
I’m depraved on account I’m deprived!
I’m here but I’m really gone.
I’m old. I hate everything but Matlock.
I’m the root of all evil but you can call me Cookie.
I’ve upped my standards, now up yours!
If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot.
If grandpa says the dog is dead it MUST be alive…
If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.
If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
If you prick us, do we not get bummed?
If you were any stupider, MY IQ would go down!
In my sex fantasy, no one ever loves me for my mind.
In order to avoid being called a flirt, yield easily.
In the degree that we love will we be loved.
It takes a village to raise an idiot.
It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.
It’s funny til someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious.
Just when I think I got my ducks in a row… duck season.
Laziness and poverty are cousins.
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
Look, Smithers, I’m Davy Crockett!
Love is the answer, but sex raises some good questions.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Love may fail, but courtesy will prevail.
Marge Schott: Official senile bigot of the '96 Olympics.
Marv, get the fishsticks off the highway.
Meanies never prosper. You can quote me.
Memory is a relative to truth but not its twin.
Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands.
Men don’t suffer from premature ejaculation-women suffer.
More testicles mean more iron.
More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
Must… destroy… mankind… Oooh! Lunchtime!
My child beat up your honor roll student.
My decisions are arbitrary, prejudiced, and final!
My head feels like it’s gone all Christmasy!
My head is like lettuce, go on, dig your thumbs in.
My moral standing is lying down.
My only hope is homemade prozac… needs more ice cream.
My words may disturb but at least there’s a reaction…
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
Never murder a man when he’s busy committing suicide.
Never pass up a chance to keep your mouth shut.
Never practice two vices at once.
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
Never thrust your sickle into another’s corn.
Never, under any circumstances, face the facts.
New ideas just confuse me.
No day in which you learn something is a complete loss.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Oh my. This IS a repugnant situation.
Oh whimsical notion, we hardly knew ye.
Oh, good, the curtains are on fire!
One of the ways in which cats show happiness is sleeping.
Ooh. That rib always breaks.
Please do not offer my god a peanut.
Put the cat out, mom. It’s a thermonuclear bomb.
Reality has no business in affairs of the heart.
Rejected pub name: The Lactose-Intolerant Monkey.
Rosebud peas:

Oh, I forgot to say, if you have taglines you don’t get to use anymore, or just any random quotes, please share them! Personally, I just love this kind of thing :slight_smile:

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

About Marge(Marge Schott: Official senile bigot of the '96 Olympics.) I once went to Marge’s Chevrolet, it’s near where the fat cats live. I wanted them to put a new switch in the air conditioner, since they had the part. No way, they would start with a $150 “complete air conditioner diagnostic.” I took it to “Roger” who scraped some rust off the old switch and made it work.

About Bulletin Board formats:They all have their advantages and drawbacks. Few are flexible to let you see the discussion the way you want. That could be part of the preferences. Write some software to allow taglines in UBB!

I have probably one of THE MOST ignorant questions on here…but…**deep breath i don’t really understand what a “tagline” is…could you explain. I have read them (your list) but I still don’t know what they are or when they are used…sorry.

That’s ok, Tigs :slight_smile: A tagline is just a funny, deep, serious, or inspirational quote that people stick at the bottom of a post to share a thought or a laugh. People have sigs on the message board here that are kinda like taglines, but since you can’t store a huge list of them, you can’t really pick a different one for each message.

I just love quotes, so I loved gathering taglines for my BBS messages to make me look especially witty, well read, or just plain silly. It’s all about me, really :wink:

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

Well I THANK YOU!!! now I know… :slight_smile: Now I need to come up with one for myself…hmmmmmm :slight_smile:

How’s this???

Risk looking foolish for love, for your dreams, and for the joy of living…

One of my favorites is "Beg forgiveness, not permission. I hesitate to use if officially because I don’t know who said it first! I’ve heard Jimmy Buffett say it, but I’m guessing it originated elsewhere…any ideas?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?
Nothing is so smiple it can’t get screwed up.

Dangit, sunbear, now you’ll have me loading all the old echomail packets and Mustang software into DOS.

Those were the days, eh? (WILDnet!)

One of my favorites was:
Jesus saves…passes to Moses…Moses shoots – HE SCORES!!

Nickrz: “Echomail packets”? Were you just on WILDnet or also on FidoNet?

how 'bout “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”

Ever heard of multitasking?
If you really want to pick a new tagline for each post, simply keep a word processor (nearly any el-cheapo program will do) running in another window.
When it’s time to fish for another tagline, jump to the word processor with the tagline file, do a “copy”, jump back to the Straight Dope window, do a “paste”. Probably not as simple as you would like, but workable.

insert witty tagline here

I don’t know, I’m pretty lazy… :wink: But that is a pretty good idea. I’ll try to remember that when I get tired of Jack Handy :slight_smile: (Right now, this Jack quote just seems appropriate for everything.)

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy

I was only posting on the WILDnet echomail network. I remember being vaguely aware of FIDO, but don’t know if I could not get there or what the deal was with that.

Echomail worked like this - A whole bunch of BBSes maintained message boards that were linked to other message boards around the world by the transmission of “mail packets.”

A subscriber to any of these bulletin boards (My subscription to “The Windy City BBS” cost $24.95 a year) could log onto the board and post to and read the SIGs (special interest groups) locally, or download all or selected SIGs (personal mail packet) to read and reply to offline using a mail reader program. (Online time could be very expensive depending on your proximity to the board dialup). You then uploaded your replies to the board, which posted them locally immediately, and periodically (once or twice a day) compiled the new material into a humongous mail packet that was uploaded to a “hub” which then compiled and propagated all the new material from its various subscribers worldwide, up the hubs and then down again to each BBS. It’s amazing, in retrospect, that this thing worked at all, being that it was all done with a top modem speed at the time of 9600 baud. (My first modem, I think, ran at 2400).
Transmission problems with the big hub packets sometimes yielded hundreds of posts of gibberish or ascii characters, but this was rare.

Anyway, everyone could read everyone else’s
“mail” which, in effect made it into one gargantuan world-wide message board. WILDnet was just one of the transmission services/nets that operated basically free of charge to the users. The BBS operators ate all those huge phone bills, as far as I know.

If you knew all of this, or FIDO was basically the same, David, forgive me for waxing nostalgic over the good old days before I got Windows running stable on my 80286 with 4 Mb RAM - clock speed a fiesty 12 Mhz!

Yeah, Fido was essentially the same thing – but bigger. My guess is that Wildnet was based off of Fido technology (as far as I know, Fido was the first as well as the biggest), as many other echomail nets were. Usually, somebody got pissed at the way things worked in Fido and went off to form their own network. :slight_smile:

I’m pretty sure I recognize The Windy City BBS, so I wonder if it wasn’t in Fido for a while there. Or maybe there was another with a similar name. You don’t happen to recall the Sysop’s name, do you?

Anyway, most Fido boards were free. I Sysoped one for about 7 years, and was the Coordinator for this area as well. So the answer is, yes, we ate the phone costs!

You might recognize the Windy City BBS name from its prominent logo that appeared on thousands of great .gifs and .jpgs during the late 80’s and early 90’s.

Can’t recall the SYSOPs, but I know the originals sold the board to someone who just shut it down out of the blue and burned everyone for their subscription money. They all walked away rich, that I know.

When Rusty ‘n’ Edie’s BBS in Ohio was busted by the Feds in 1992 (for allowing the posting and trading of warez), their financial records showed they were pulling in over 3 million bucks a year.