Take All Your Base and Shove 'Em Up Your Ass!

Just a small sampling:





Okay, I know this isn’t much of a rant, but I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF THIS PATHETICALLY LAME SUBJECT. Do you people know how to run a search before you post a question? Have you ever heard of Google? Jesus Christ, it’s been answered in Time Fucking Magazine within the last week!

The next person who asks this stupid fucking question is going to get a Commodore 64 shoved so far up his ass he’s going to be able to program BASIC by tapping on his throat.

But maybe I’ll post a link to this thread first, just as a warning.

Thank you.
And could people stop quoting 50 fucking lines in a row of another person’s post when they reply.

[sub]sorry…pet peev of mine[/sub]


I feel your pain…

Can I get an AMEN???

Even in Great Debates some igit posts TWO count 'em TWO “all your base” threads. Doesn’t anyone search anymore?? A search of “base” in the subject for the last 30 days gives you no less then 11 threads, and I KNOW that isn’t all of them.


You, I gather, are a barrister. As such, you have assets, no doubt, which put you in a position of vulnerability.

I, OTOH, am a low, base person, with no assets to speak of, and a decidedly non-mainstream sense of recreation.

May I offer my services?

I think we might make a fine team, and, after some history, could possibly acquire sponsors from which to garner a supply of Commodore 64s. You would provide the expenses and legal needs, I would do the traveling, see to the physical side of our endeavours, and the videos.

Perhaps, as a goodwill gesture to the community, and to get our (speculative, at this point) name out in the community, we could give away some sort of typing software on 5 1/2" floppy with every shoving?

If you find this modest proposal attractive, I invite further discourse with you at your convenience.


Personally I have no freakin idea what the hell it means, but I too will state I am sick of seeing those threads.

Also, I will add to this list the fucking Survivor threads or Temptation Island threads or any other mass marketed, lame ass television “real-fuck-ity TV” show threads.

Anyone care to indulge upon something a little more interesting like toe jam or urine?

[Roger Debris]

“Ooooooohhh… I like that! Kick turn… heel… turn…”

[/Roger Debris]


Sadly, inor, I am a barrister with many student loans and a prestigious, but poorly-paying position. Yet despite my meager store of assets, I am certain that you and I could be a very effective team. The Commodore 64 is, fortunately, an extremely affordable gerbil substitute. If we pool our meager resources, we may be able to acquire several of our tools of retribution, and I am certain that those generous members of our humble community who understand the “search” function could provide any further proto-PC’s that we might need. Atari 2600’s are also gratefully accepted for this worthy cause. Oh, and any of those old external floppy drives would be cool too.

Anyway, inor, I like your enthusiasm. Together, we can fight ignorance the hard way.

Shit, man, you can buy C64s AND 2600s for $1.90 by the gross ton at any thrift store in town. Should be afordable even on a budget beset by student loan woes.

Hey, why did you include my thread? I didn’t ask what it was about, in fact I included a link that explains what it is about in my first post! My question was simply why it came to be popular now. With the thousands of sites that have “All Your Base Are Belong To Us” plastered on them, you can imagine that it’s hard to get specific answers through search.

Guilt by association, Avumede. However, I’ll take the extenuating circumstances into account when assessing your punishment.

::applying vaseline to the intellimouse::


Yes, sexual violence is very funny and is a perfectly appropriate response to people using the bulletin board in a way you don’t like.

Hmm, if we simply didn’t like it, we’d probably stick to flaming people with logic and reason, trying to show them the error of their ways. When they post nonsense, repeated, and without doing a search on the same FUCKING topic, well, I think it’s understandable that we (can I say “we” here?) get frustrated and VENT in a way that keeps us from acting out said frustrations. Should anyone actually DO what is mentioned here, it would be tragic. However, it still remains words on a screen and not “violence, sexual or otherwise”.

May I recommend perhaps you start a new one OP…Flame the crude, violent souls who post on a message board.

:hey minty, pass that vaseline would ya?:

Perhaps… you spend too much time on the board.

As for your links, exactly one is asking what “all your base” means.

The OP was kind…I found these links also for this






But not the ONE I was looking for in MPSIMS, which in a few mere lines explained to me what this nonsense was all about. (Mis-tranlation from Japanese to English, which apparently has tickled more than a few funnybones. I share the rabid frustration from the ignorance of posting this OP over and OVER and OVER again when a search could tell you, “It’s been done and is now a DEAD HORSE.”

I need sleep badly. I wish you all bon soir.

May I offer up my services???

Yes, I can (and do) choose not to open the threads in question. However, when one opens the forum and sees multiple listings for the same goddamn thing. well, it almost feels like last November (:smiley: )

As far as services, I work with convicts for a living. I know professionals.

Well I’d stick 'em up noses instead, but it’s such a pain getting things past all the cartilage and bone. Better for all involved to stick with the soft tissues.

Good to have ya’ll on board, TB and wring! Should we start printing up t-shirts?

oooooh, and hats! we need hats!!

(aside to Boris, while I deplore violence in general, and specifically sexual violence, might I point out that this is a message board - ie, that our medium for expression is written. 'twould be very difficult indeed for even some one of minty’s powers to actually insert any object into any orifice of anyone’s body when our only method of communication is words on a computer screen)

Hats it is, wring! Now what should we call ourselves? The “All Your Base Retribution Squad” sounds functional, but sadly lacks the retro kitsch value that I think we should be shooting for.

(Further aside to Boris: I’m a big fan of cartoon violence. You know, the type where nobody actually gets hurt. Now would you mind removing my bad words from your sig line in GQ? I don’t mind it down here in the Pit, but I try to keep my serious potty mouth stuff out of the other forums.)