I don’t intentionally run over bicyclists when they’re riding in the middle of the street instead of on the freaking, paved bike path that’s right next to the stinking street that they’re riding down the middle of.
Although I think about it. A lot.
I turn out the lights in my house when I leave for work.
I’ve never smacked my mother!
I’ve never run over my grandfather with my car!
I’ve never done any illegal drugs!
The only time I drank alcohol illegally, I didn’t know it was illegal! (A pint of draft guiness in Ireland and I’m of the opinion that anybody who is in Ireland or the Czech Republic and doesn’t try local beers should be tossed into the nearest body of water)