Take him to...Detroit!....."No, Not Detroit!

Detroit Lions coach Bobby Ross is looking for a new quarterback. But after scouting all the colleges, he hasn’t found his man. Then one night he sees a news clip of a Bosnian soldier hurling grenades through 15-story windows from 200 yards away. That guy’s got an amazing arm, Ross says to himself. We’ve got to give him a tryout.

So the coach brings him to America, and a year later, with their new Bosnian quarterback, the Lions win their first Super Bowl. After the game the quarterback telephones his mother. “Mom,” he yells, “we won the Super Bowl! I’m famous and rich!”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” his mother says.

“But, Mom,” the star player pleads,“I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t care,” she answers. “At this moment there are gunshots all around. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week.” She pauses, then tearfully says, “I’ll never forgive you for bringing us to Detroit.”

Hey … that’s my birthplace you’re talking about!

Detroit’s tourism slogan hasn’t been “Where the Weak are Killed and Eaten” for years. And I haven’t seen a smiley face logo with a bloody bullet hole in its forehead there for at least months.

According to the Detroit Free Press last weekend, the city has gone from the murder capital to having the most people shot and killed by the cops.

Doesn’t that make you feel better?

I know, I know. I am your resident Dutchman. I don’t know all that much about American culture.
However, I want you all to know this: I recognize that thread title.

It is from The Kentucky Fried Movie!! I LOVE that film!!

OK, carry on. Sorry 'bout that.

Not to mention the most people beaten to death with flashlights by police.


The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in…

Film at 11

I am wearing no pants…

Film at 11.

Milo, where have you been? That’s an old joke. Then again, you’re UP NORTH, and, well, things get there real slow, except tourists. Condolences on your summer crammed with all the damned suburbanite yuppie scum every weekend between now and September.

For the second time tonight (see Job Interview Riddle in General Questions–I’d post a link but haven’t figured out how to do it yet), I’ve been scrolling through a thread, ready to give the “answer”, only to find out that someone else has already piped up.

My favorite line from the movie: “But you’ll have the opportunity to kill lots of people!” I liked the whole “Fistful of Yen” subplot, particularly the obvious mouthing of “WHAT THE F*CK?” and the Dating Game skit.

Re Detroit: Don’t know if any of you listen to the Jim Rome show, but some guy called in from Detroit and started praising the 'hood, because they didn’t riot after Michigan State won the NCAA championship, unlike Colorado after the CU/CSU football game. Rome said that you do NOT get “props” for “not rioting”, and this inspired a whole slew of faxes:

“Props to me for not smoking pot today” (signed) Marion Barry

“Give it up for me. I didn’t kill Ron and Nicole today.” (signed) O.J. Simpson

“I think I deserve praise for not making a gold digging marriage today” (signed) Darva Conger

I guess you had to be there.

Would you like chocolate or vanilla fudge, Shirley?

We all just sit in our rocking chairs on the front porch whittlin’ under the downstaters come up and give us a reason to live.