Take your cigarettes . . .take your lottery tickets . . AND GET THE HELL OUT!!!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

Here I was at the local Uni-Mart, and all I wanted to do was purchase my stupid sandwich and soda so that I could eat the lunch that I worked so hard for all morning.

However, my lunch break was delayed for five minutes by this piece of white trash LOSER who decided he had to hold up my whole day by wasting his welfare money on two of the most worthless things possible:

Cigarettes, and Lottery Tickets.

Not normally enough to make me vent in the Pit, but the problem today was twofold:

  1. The clerk wasn’t able to find this jerk the right cigarettes “NO! I said soft pack!! SOFT PACK Marlboros!!!” he bellowed in the middle of a nicotine deprivation fueled psychosis. This of course, became a major hassle, as if soft pack Marlboros won’t kill you just as fast as hard packs. This loser actually made the kid go to THE BACK to see if he had any of his precious soft-pack cancer sticks. Fortunately for all of us, the store had some, and we were all spared this whack job going Postal on everyone within 500 feet of the store.

  2. This goof then had the BALLS to waste MORE of our time buying about 5 lottery tickets!!! And of course, being a lotto ticket, each one has seven numbers, and this piece of shit must have spent all night meticulously figuring out and writing down all five seven number combinations, probably devising a brilliant formula using one of those 75-cent “Lucky Numbers” books you find at the checkout line of the local Shop-Rite. You know, the ones that if they were truly right, everyone would buy them, and the $70 million Lotto Jackpot would be split up 5 million ways??? Give me a break!

MEMO TO THIS WEEK’S ASS CLOWN:

Rather than berating the poor college kid behind the counter who is just trying to scrape away a few bucks so he can eat, why don’t you do us all a favor and QUIT FUCKING SMOKING??? I mean it’s bad enough Junior has to worry about some scumbag coming in and and blowing nuggets into his ass trying to rob him out of $50 so he can go buy crack. But now he has to put up with YOUR shit???

Look, I not one of these anti-smoking crusaders . . . but you Pal, you need to start wearing the Patch!!!

Oh, and by the way, I do NOT appreciate those of you A-hole smokers that throw your used butts or ashes out of your windows all over MY car when I am behind you on the highway. Not only is that RUDE and arrogant, it is also littering.

There’s this thing that cars have . . called . . . ashtrays??? Clue! THAT is where you put your fucking ashes and used cigarette butts. And if it is a rental car, and has no ashtray . . GUESS WHAT??? That means the rental car company doesn’t want you polluting their vehicles with your cigarette stink!!!

The same by the way goes for non-smoking hotel rooms. That’s what the sign means, fella. If there’s none available, and you can’t handle it, well, I guess you’d better quit smoking as well, rather than making it smell like a toilet when I have to use it

In addition, I don’t 100% mind your smoke in a restaurant, but when you are holding your cancer stick away from your face and the smoke catches a draft into MINE, yes, I do mind. Show some class . . . if it’s a drafty restaurant, watch where the hell your smoke is going??? Is it THAT much to ask???

I also highly resent having to wait an extra 15 minutes. . so I can get a non-smoking table!! I am being penalized because I don’t want to die of lung cancer??? And when I DO get one . . it’s right next to the smoking section anyway???

On to the lottery tickets. Your chances of winning this week’s Lotto are the same as that of me not getting flamed on this thread: slim and none, and Slim just left town. Stop wasting your money, and stop wasting everyone elses time.

Here’s a better way to make money, rather than piss away your income on some pipe dream that will never happen: take that $5.00 every weekday you piss away on those stupid lottery tickets, and SAVE IT.

Let’s see . . . assuming you buy tickets every week day, and you probably do, since I’ve seen you there before . . . that’s 5x261 days = $1305!!! With that money, you can start to replace that beat up car you drive in! Or maybe leave something to your children besides debt when you die from smoking all those cigarettes!!!

Or, with that $1305 a year, you will be able to finally afford the money you will need when you turn 70 to have that blow hole installed in your throat.

Want to help the Senior Citizens? Instead of buying a lotto ticket, donate some money to a cause that benefits the elderly. Besides, I bet most of that money goes right back into the lottery from THOSE SAME SENIOR CITIZENS!!!

And quit smoking. The old people will have an easier time breathing than when you force them to inhale that pollution from your smokestack at Sunday brunch!

2

I give that a solid 8 on the rant-o-meter

I also agree with most of it. The icing on the cake though would have been if he was actually trying to pay for the said items with his welfare check.

3

Cigarettes and lottery tickets?
Pitching a hissy fit because they didn’t have the EXACT type of cigarettes he wanted?
Holding everyone up so he can use his “sure-fired/guaranteed/no-fail/I’m gonna win this time” method of choosing lottery numbers?

Sorry, Vinnie, sounds like you were behind my ex-husband.
Next time feel free to kick his ass all over the parking lot.
Tell him Kinsey said it was okay.
[evil grin smilie]

4

Or a 2 for sheer dick-holishness. The man asked for an item from the clerk. The clerk didn’t give him what he asked for. How many rants have we seen about that? The guy got to the convenience store before the OP. He was shopping, as is his right. If you don’t like waiting in line, go to the Kwik-E-Mart that nobody goes to–we’ll see how long they’re open.

I won’t even get into the smoking part except to point out:

**

…and…

**

…and then the rest of the rant. Huh?

5

My ex-SO used to refer to lottery tickets as a tax on people who were bad at math. :wink:

I’m with you on all counts.

6

Yes, can I help you?

Oh… not me. I see. Hey, I’m beginning to think hardygrrl lied to me about that title she gave me being a compliment…

Yes, but as a smoker (until about 3 weeks or so ago) I never threw a hissy fit or made a clerk go to the back of the store to look for a hard pack of Marlies if they only had soft packs up front. It’s the same product regardless what type of pack they’re in. To me it’d be like being in line behind someone at the Taco Bell bitching because their soft taco was given to them in the paper wrapping for a hard taco.

7

I normally don’t post much but I am in a foul mood, so here goes…

I once waited 30 minutes behind some moron who bought 15 scratch-off lottery tickets and proceeded to scratch them off while she was still at the counter. She invariably either won $1.00 or $2.00 or a free ticket, which she instantly changed over to more tickets, which she scratched off at the counter. She did all this before she paid so the clerk’s cash register was unable to perform another transaction for the 30 people waiting in line. I had already pumped the gas or I would have kicked her in her mouldy tookus and left. By the time I got out of that gas station I was exhausted and had to pee so bad that I ALMOST considered using their bathroom.

Now I pump gas while Jerry Springer is still on. End of problem.

In a semi-related theme, ever seen a parent send their kid through the supermarket line to buy gum with food stamps so that momsie behind him can use the change to buy cigarettes?

8

**

Actually, one time I went to McDonald’s and ordered an extra double cheeseburger with my meal. It came in a double cheeseburger wrapper…

BUT IT WAS ONLY A SINGLE CHEESEBURGER!
I figured it was a sign that I shouldn’t clog my arteries as much as I was at the time.

So I ate it anyway. :smiley:

9

Its a rant. They usually don’t make perfect sense. Deal with it. And I still think it was a pretty good “rant” at that.

10

I find it ironic that you were ranting about having to wait behind some twit, when I had to wait for you to FINISH QUOTING SOME OTHER GUY’S ENTIRE POST!!! ARGH!!!

Other than that, I pretty much agree with the OP. :slight_smile:

Lil Lurker: she hadn’t even fucking paid yet? I’d have said “excuse me” and made my way around her. Stupid bitch can scratch her ticket on her own goddamn time.

11

My brother calls it the stupid tax.
As far as the smoking? I’m a recent enough ex-smoker that I don’t pitch a fit too often. I’m not going to cough walking through the smoking area, unless it’s a real cough.

But, I do get irritated (and did when I was smoking too) by people who smoke in non-smoking hotel rooms. Either request a smoking room, or walk outside to smoke. It’s not that difficult.

12

It’s a line. Deal with it.

13

Vinnie, I think you used up the board’s supply of question marks for the week. What are the rest of us supposed to do now! [sub]<-- supposed to be a question mark but Vinnie used 'em all, the bastard

14

So we don’t expect consistency on the SDMB anymore? “Gee, I’m not a racist, but these blacks gotta stop robbing liquor stores.”

You can’t make one statement out of hand and then spend several paragraphs belying it. Not around here, anyway.

15

I thought overall it was pretty damn funny and had a lot of truth to it.

BUT…

This is the pit. For Christs sake, go ahead and dissect it if you like.

16

I’m posting here because I think that Vinnie Virginslayer is one of the best names I’ve seen, after Pump-Action Gerbil and JimmyNipples

And the rant was pretty good too. I’d give it a 9.

17

Just to make your day brighter, there really is no such thing as a non-smoking hotel room. If they are out of smoking rooms and you want one they just bring an ashtray up to the room your are in. Once in a nice hotel($290 a night single room) they had accidently booked me in a Non-smoking room. All of the available smoking rooms had a bad view, so the desk clerk just handed me a couple ashtrays and winked.

18

** Stofsky ** , thank you. You took all the words right outta my fingers.

Sorry, ** Vinnie **, but I think YOU need to find out what’s causing YOUR “psychosis”. Perhaps it is just a communication failure, but I fail to understand what the guy did wrong, apart from purchase two things you think suck. I suggest you switch to decaf.

And as for claiming you are NOT an anti-smoking crusader? Please, I have a stomach ache from that one. I don’t think I’ve ever read a more relentless and rabid diatribe against smoking in my life.

Keerist…

I hope for your sake this isn’t a typical day for you.

stoid

19

Let’s make a deal, Vinnie. You quit tailgating me (Why do I get the feeling that you tailgait? I mean, you haven’t ever expressed any impatience at having to wait in line for something, have you?), and I’ll stop trying to land a lit Camel in your sunroof. Sound fair?

Where’s Alphagene?

20

I smoked Marlboroughs for close to thirty years before quitting. The cigarettes in the soft packs are actually longer than those in the hard box. Ignoring the fact that smoking kills, the guy was just being a shrewd comparison shopper, out for the best deal—more tobacco for the same money. The customer has a right to ask for what he wants and to not accept a substitute.

As to lottery tickets, the store offers them for sale. Why be irritated because a person buys something that is offered for sale?

Maybe you should look for a store that sells neither cigarettes or lottery tickets. Good look with the search.