Once upon a time there was a louse.
Not a bad guy, mind you, or even a deadbeat dad, but an actual louse with the overabundance of legs that you sometimes get in your head when you travel in certain Third World countries.
Anyway, this louse had an adventuring spirit. So one day he asked his (human) friend to go traveling with him. This is how the conversation went.
Louse: “Hey, Bob, wanna go adventuring?”
Bob: “Sure.”
The louse’s mom packed the louse seven sandwiches, and Bob’s mom packed him seven sandwiches. And off they went!
They had only gone a short way, however, when suddenly the louse said, “Oh, Bob, I’m really hungry. I’d better eat.” So he sat down and ate all of his seven sandwiches, gobble, gobble!
Up they got, and started traveling again. But shortly, the louse said, “Oh, Bob, I’m still really hungry.”
And Bob said, “Well, then, here. You better eat my sandwiches, too.” And so the louse ate all of Bob’s sandwiches, too, and once again they started traveling.
But again, they’d barely gone any distance when the louse complained of hunger again. And Bob said, “Well, you’d better just eat me, then.” I don’t know if he was being sarcastic, and I’m afraid we’ll never know, for the louse at least thought he was being serious and gobbled him up.
Now the louse was alone, but not really, for Bob was with him! Bob was always with him, now. So on he traveled.
Pretty soon he came to a farm, where he got hungry again. He gobbled up two turkeys, one goat, one cow, five chickens, and one small dog before he felt full enough to travel again.
And on he traveled. Soon, though, after eating all of this, he started feeling really thirsty. But he was in luck! For he came out of the forest, and found he was right on the edge of an ocean.
He knelt down and began to drink. Slurp, slurp, slurp…he drank and drank and drank, until he finally drained the entire ocean! And he sat back, heavily.
“Oh, I’m soooo full,” he said…and suddenly POW! His belly exploded.
drawing. And as he sat there, he watched, as the entire ocean poured back in, then the two turkeys, one goat, one cow, five chickens, and one small dog all came back out, then Bob, still alive, then 14 sandwiches.
Moral of the story: When your mom tells you a tall tale at a young age, you’ll remember it for a good long time.