Taliban TV Guide

This was renamed for the UK market. It’s call ‘Oily McBeal’ over here: Tonight’s guest star is Gregory Opec - wow, I thought he was dead.

“That 1470’s Show”
“Beavis and Towelhead” (that one was bad, sorry…)

I forgot to mention my favorite, the venerable sitcom, Different Canestrones for Different Offenses.

That would, of course, be Canestrokes.

I think tonight they’re going to show the romantic comedy “You’ve Got Veil!”.

…right before another Meg Ryan classic, Addicted to Opium Growing.

What about that movie {b]Adventures in Begging ** with Elisabeth Shue. it got two stumps up!

What got me is when they cancelled “The Courtship of Eddie’s Poppi”

They were planning a new series for next season:*“The Streets of Kandahar”. But that’s been cancelled for lack of streets…

I also heard that before they finally named “Mad About Everything” they considered "Mad About Mules.

I just commited a SDMB faux pas by starting a similar thread in MPSIMS. (oops) I’ll list the ones that haven’t already been mentioned:

Everybody Loves Achmed
Children are Forbidden from Saying the Darnedest Things
When the Northern Alliance Attacks 4
True Stories of the Kabul Patrol
Ripley’s: Believe It or Else
Jalalabad, 90210
Family Feudalism
Honey, I Shrunk the Camel
Malcolm in the Mosque
All My Children
Candid Camel :smiley:

What’s on cable in Kabul tonight … lemme’ check my Taliban TV Guide …

9:00 PM 22 Shawwal 1421 A.H

(CART) The Flintstones - a humorous look at a family from the future
(ESPN) NASCART Racing
(FOOD) Iron Chef - theme ingredients include grain, Beagle, MRE
(H&G) This Old Ruin
(LIFE) Lifetime Movie - “Meeting Allah: The Price of a Short Burqa”
(MTV) Lalalalalala! MTV Ululates!
(SPEED) Cart and Driver
(TRAV) Kandahar’s Top Ten Caves

This one’s been doing the rounds and is UK-centric, so some hints are that Dad’s Army is an old sitcom based on WW2 reservists, Ready Steady Cook is a ‘what can you cook for a fiver’ cheap TV program, Panorama is current affairs, Coronation St = long running soap. You can probably guess the rest…
TALIBAN T.V.

6.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.
8.30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say “Ah-ah”. Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.
9.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.
11.00 Jihad’s Army. The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.
12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.
12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over the world.
13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some cooking.
14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.
15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions.‘Starter for ten, no praying.’
15.30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet’s entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.
16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders.
17.00 Koranation Street. Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.
17.30 Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic behaviour.
18.00 Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.
18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?
19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go ‘inshallah’, or ask the Islamic council?
20.00 FILM: Shariah’s Angels. The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women.
21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week?
22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel.
23.30 They think it’s Allah over. Quiz culminating in the ‘don’t feel the Mullah’ round.
0.00 When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.
12.30 a.m. The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories.
1.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.
2.00 The Gaza strip. The adult hour where couples discuss their favourite strategic positions
3.00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again

**WWF AFGHANISTAN IS WAR

MINEFELD

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OSAMA BIN LADEN?

AFGHAN BANDISTAN

DEAD AT 44

BINNY HILL SHOW

MAD ABOUT EVERYTHING

MONDAY NIGHT AMPUTATIONS

DEATH COMEDY JAM

CAVE 54, WHERE ARE YOU?

BIN AND STUMPY

ONE EYE SPY

THE O’SAMA FACTOR

ONE AMPUTATION AT A TIME

ACCORDING TO JIHAD

POOR MAN, POOR MAN

MINE LADEN HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN

BOMBING 9 TO 5

NO SOAP, RADIO, FOOD, FUN

LITTLE MUDHUT ON THE MINEFIELD

I DREAM OF JIHAD

HATE, AFGHANISTAN STYLE

EMPTY CAVE

THE CANDLELIGHT COMPANY

THAT GIRL!- UM, I MEAN THAT ONE . . UHM, THAT ONE?**

Looks like someone already took “Mad About Everything”. Sorry about that! :slight_smile:

**ASH BRIDGES

NAME THAT SCREAM

WELCOME BACK, CRATER

THE NEWLYCRIPPLED GAME

UPTIGHT CITIZEN’S BRIGADE

AFGHAN AIR FORCE: GROUNDED FOR LIFE

RAGS TO RAGS

HONEY, I EXECUTED THE KIDS

VICE AND VIRTUE SQUAD!

PICKET MINEFIELDS

HAVE ANTHRAX, WILL TRAVEL

HERMAN’S HEAD- OVER THERE, ON THE FLOOR

CRIPPLES FROM C.A.P.E.R.

KING OF THE DIRT MOUND

YES, MINISTER OF VIRTUE AND VICE

WOMEN ARE PEOPLE TOO . . . . . OKAY, NOT REALLY

BOMB BOMB BLACK SHEEP

JOHNNY SICKO AND HIS FLYING JETLINER

WAIT TILL YOUR FATHER, YOU KNOW, THE PSYCHOTIC, MURDEROUS RAGING TERRORIST, GETS HOME**

Murder, She Couldn’t Write

Married with 67 Children

WAhahahahahahahahha! OMG, I’m laughin’ :slight_smile:

The best one is “Ripleys: Believe it or else.”
That’s one to remember.
Thanks guys.

**BANDS OF TERRORISTS ON THE RUN

HI HONEY! I HAVE ONE HAND!

NOT-SO-HAPPY DAYS

PLEASE DON’T EAT THE POPPIES

BLESS THIS MUDHUT

PRISONER: CELL BLOCK AFGHANISTAN

BINNY, THE INFIDEL SLAYER

THE PRICE HAD BETTER BE RIGHT

ANTIQUES ROADSHOW: TALIBAN ARMY SPECIAL EDITION

PRESS YOUR LUCK: WEAR WHITE SOCKS

MY THREE-HUNDRED SONS**