Taliban TV Guide

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m putting this in the Pit 'cause it’s kind of mean (though not very). I just got it in an e-mail and I laughed my butt off. Apologies to those who have already seen it:

TALIBAN TV GUIDE

MONDAYS:
8:00 - “Husseinfeld”
8:30 - “Mad About Everything”
9:00 - “Suddenly Sanctions”
9:30 - “The Brian Benben bin Laden Show”
10:00 - “Allah McBeal”
TUESDAYS:
8:00 - “Wheel of Terror and Fortune”
8:30 - “The Price is Right If Osama Says Its Right”
9:00 - “Children Are Forbidden From Saying The Darndest Things”
9:30 - “Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers”
10:00 - “Buffy The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer”

WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - “U.S. Military Secrets Revealed”
8:30 - “When Northern Alliance Attacks”
9:00 - “Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread”
9:30 - “Just Shoot Everyone”
10:00 - “Veilwatch”

THURSDAYS:
8:00 - “Matima Loves Chachi”
8:30 - “MUSTASH”
9:00 - “Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils”
9:30 - “My Two Baghdads”
10:00 - “Diagnosis: Heresy”

FRIDAYS:
8:00 - “Judge Laden”
8:30 - “Funniest Super 8 Home Movies”
9:00 - “Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things”
9:30 - “Akhmeds Creek”
10:00 - “No-witness News”

:slight_smile:

2

Pretty damned funny!

3

what??? they cancelled “Survivor: Caves of Afghanistan” already? damn.

4

LMAO

5

That’s not right.

It should be:

“Matima Loves Chachi, Then Gets Beheaded.”

6

Indeed, it is pretty funny. :slight_smile:

(As a historical sidenote- that first made the rounds in 1998 as ‘Iraqi TV’)

7

Yep, thought that looked familiar. Thanks, lno.

8

Woman gets stoned without using drugs!

Tape at eleven…
Woman loses head over meeting single guy!

Next Geraldo…

9

SATURDAYS
8:00 - “Whose Mine Is It Anyway?”
8:30 - “Futurosama”
9:00 - “Boston Public Executions”
9:30 - “Al-Qaeda McBeal”
10:00 - “Temptation Jihad 2”

SUNDAYS
8:00 - “Afghanistan’s Funniest Home Videos”
8:30 - “Infidel” (‘Bam!’)
9:00 - “Touched by an Ashcroft”
9:30 - “UG: Underground”
10:00 - “Jerry Lewis Labor Day Taliban”

10

At least part of that was originally a Letterman top ten, not that it makes it any less clever.

The Bob and Tom radio show had a parody focusing on the cutting off of limbs as punishment for crimes called “All My Children are Missing Extremities,” which also cracks me up every time.

Thanks for posting it Jodi. Good laughs for me.

-Myron

11

Very clever. Thanks. :slight_smile:

12

This list was read on a local radio show, and a muslim man called in to complain about this particular listing. The talk show acquiesced, and instead inserted:

10:00 - “Ali Baba McBeal”

Works for me.

13

Some from my coworker Tom:

 "Leave it to Beav Laden" - See Beav Laden whip his mom for wearing pearls
 "TNN" Taliban News Network - featuring Laden King
 "Sally Jesse Ramaden featuring - Women who wear Nail Polish"
 "Food Network" - presents "Anthrax Omlette" with the new sponser K-Ration Helper
 "This Old Hut" - this episode is entitled "Rubble Patio"
 "The Weather Channel" - increased chances of Bombs toward nightfall
14

“Clarissa Explains the Qu’ran”
“Touched by Some Anthrax”

15

And back in the US:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3734/on_tv_tonight_3734.html

a little out of date, I know…

16

Mad About Everything?

That’s freakin’ brilliant.

17

5am GoodMorning Taliban
6am Meet the Mullahs
7am Incurable Collector of Copies of Holy Quran
8am Taste of Afghanistan
9am Minefield Beautiful
10am Major League Executions
11am Kabulgoing
Noon Goat Show
1pm Pony Races
2pm Deadly Reptiles in the Hindu Kush
3pm TRL Taliban
4pm All in the Taliban
4:30 Johnny Imam

18

Damn, did they cancel No Sex in The City?

19

Yep, they replaced it with The Qu’ranos.

20

LMAO!

Oh my God, I’m going to pee my pants!

.:Nichol:.