It’s probably not the first time I agree with msmith537 on a job-related thread… feels like it, though
Punch something, yell where nobody can hear, pull up your big boy pants, figure out which jobs are you really interested in and can you take (you don’t seem to have that clear, reminds me of my coworkers who want to take projects abroad because it pays more but who also want to kiss their kids goodnight every night - does not compute), apply to them.
I love my job (in general, there have been projects and clients I hated) and I’m more calm than most people about being “between projects” (self-employedspeak for unemployed), but I also don’t have dependants and live in a country with UHC, I can afford to use that time to paint the house or organize old pictures.
Fuck it. Quit. If you’re unhappy and you think you can make it financially, even if it’s a struggle or your lifestyle has to be scaled back or whatever, then go ahead and quit.
You’ll feel better about your life and feel some measure of control of your destiny again.
I’ve quit the only 2 jobs I ever had with no backup plan, no savings and no new job waiting for me. Both were among the best decisions and actions I ever made. I would do it again if I found myself that unhappy.
BUT since you have a child and a SO in your life, make sure you discuss things with them and make sure they are on board with the changes you are going to make; they will also be affected and you owe them that.
I was thinking about this, and came to the conclusion that I’m topped out. I have a couple options; expand my skillset and continue to from my current level, or take a step back to somewhere with a different path forward. Both of these are on the table. Now that I’m able and willing to take a cut in pay, finding a job related to what I’m currently doing, but with a better career path is the plan.
Well I’ve had two in the previous year, hopefully there will be more soon.
Bold mine, and this is the main conclusion we reached last night. The math works, we feel that we’d be able to make it with little trouble. But yes, it is going to be stressful to move stuff, combine kids, introduce cats, etc. etc. Even though it seems right now that I’d be less stressed I don’t know that to be the case.
So, I’ll stick around here and do what I do. The funny thing is that I always work better after a setback, so I’ll be Mr. Motivated McProductivepants for a little while.
And what do you know, I found a fun job to apply for last night as well. Probably a little cut in pay, but related to what I do and I exceed the requirements.
Here’s a little question related to that: It’s an office that hosts public visitors, is it cool for me to show up and look around to scout it out, then start a conversation with somebody there and mention my interest in the job? Hand over a resume?
I would say it is OK to scout it out a little, but do apply only via the channel they are expecting. It’s more professional that way. If you hand a resume to “somebody”, there is no way of knowing if it will get to the hiring manager or other decision maker, or just end up in the trash.
I can’t talk you out of quitting your job, because I did quit my job with no notice and no other job lined up. I have a fair amount of money saved and my boyfriend is helping with expenses until I get another job, so I do have that to fall back on. But it was still scary to walk out of that office knowing I was never coming back.
I was at the point where I was thinking that wrapping my car around a tree was preferable to going into that office one more time. I wasn’t sleeping at night, I was getting migraines on a regular basis. That’s when I knew it was time to go.
I sometimes have an “OMG what have I done” moment, but at least I’m sleeping better at night. Good luck to you, please keep us posted!
I say: Keep your job, unless they are actively taking a dump on your head. If they just dissed you for the lateral move, I don’t see that as being a reason to give up a job. All of the other stuff happens in every job.
I was all ready to quit my job last Friday. I am a nurse and I work with seniors with mental health problems, some of the depression/schizophrenia type and some with Dementia and BPSD and am regularly dodging blows or getting minor injuries from some of my patients. I feel there isn’t enough saftey at my regular job where I have a three qurters time position with full benefits. My part time job has an excellent safety record. On top of that my boss at my “main” job seems distracted, aloof and plays favourites. I am not one of them, and nothing that is ever promised seems to happen (personal safety alarms, proper inservices, a code response team for emergencies… it took 4 months to get a clock up in the nurses station!) I took another hit on Dec 28th and had staff question why I refused to give medications at 630 am to a patient who it takes three people to hold down. I work at night with one other staff!
So I was going to quit Thursday Jan 2, then boss was off sick. I was going to quit the Friday, but she gave me a much improved performance review. So I am sticking with it, because despite the fact that I know I could get many more hours with my part time job, it will be hard to get another one with a black mark on my record for this place.
In the mean time I am still applying everywhere.
But if I do get hit again I will quit. I’m over this nonsense even though I love working with seniors.
I have to disagree. When you are responsible for the well being of another human being your own happiness can no longer be your top priority. You can find fulfillment in tons of ways that aren’t your job.
“You’ll find something else” simply isn’t true in most parts of the US right now. Or rather, he might find something but he’ll be competing with a disproportionate number of people for it.
All things being equal it would be best to find a job that you love. And I’m not saying Sicks Ate should give up finding a job that feeds his soul, just that he should not walk away from a predictable income before it’s replaced, even partially.
Sure, that is an option when you are young and do not have a lot of responsibilities. The OP says he has a child to look after. Try skipping around with jobs in your 40s and you will not have such an easy time lining up gigs. A few years ago I stayed with a job I hated with the fire of a thousand suns for 6 months until I could find another job (there was a re-org, long story). Why? Because my family depended on my salary and health insurance benefits.
People are not as mobile as you get up there in age. Which is why you should make your job mistakes when you are young and resiliant and do not have a lot of shackles to keep you in a job you hate.
“When you are responsible for the well being of another human being your own happiness can no longer be your top priority.”
Why not? Who wrote the commandment that a parent can’t make their own happiness a top priority? Why is the remote risk that a child’s life might be in some way slightly less perfect (if a parent pursues happiness) in any way a justification for denying fulfilling or satisfying choices to an adult? Why is some increased risk in a child’s life not a fair trade for the improved lifestyle of a parent?
Are children worth more than adults?
Do you think the OP indicates a disinclination to provide adequate care and support for his child either way? He sounds responsible to me.
Hey,where does the sacrifice stop? “Won’t someone please think of the children?!”
I had hoped it was clear that I wasn’t trying to talk Sicks Ate out of quitting his job, just out of quitting it Friday. It’s a hot button issue for me. When my son was a month old my husband quit a job with no notice to his employers or to me. Burned that bridge spectacularly. He’d only gotten the job two months earlier after many moths of sporadic temping. He didn’t have another job for the next ten months. Of course I wanted my husband to be happy. But quitting his job with no notice did not make him happy, it just shifted what he was unhappy about, with the added layer of financial insecurity which also made me unhappy. And there was 3% unemployment in our state at that time. I still maintain that to say “go ahead and jump without a net” in the current jobs climate is bad advice.
I did not mean to suggest at all that being a parent means you cannot or should not pursue your own happiness, just that you can no longer pursue it without regard for your child’s safety and security. And I mean true safety and security. Not smartphones and Disney vacations…I mean education, food, shelter, and healthcare.
Hey Sicks Ate, here’s another reason to stick around where you are. If you really are twice as qualified for the lateral transfer as the person they picked, maybe there’s a non-zero chance that things won’t work out with them and the opening may come around again. If it does, you’ll be in a good position to grab it – especially if you’ve spent the intervening time being, as you put it, Mr. Motivated McProductivepants.
Um, not to brag or anything, but like I said up thread I almost quit last week.
I had a pre interview phone call today. I might be kinda sorta a weeeensie bit pushing my qualifications for this, but I am a quick study and have a whole lot of other experience… the operations leader did comment that 13 years as an RN does count for something and skills for the job can be taught…I admitted to having no vent experience, and she said they teach that, and I admitted to no peripheral IVs and they don’t use them, so maybe I have a shot.
I hope you find something too. Or like it. Or become Mr Motivated Mcproductivitypants*
(That is totally going to be my superhero name, only Ms, since I’m a girl)
