I have thick beard with a large walrus mustache. I’ve found not putting product in it makes me look like a vagrant, so after much trial and error I’ve found a process that seems to work well.
There are a zillion different types of mustache waxes on the market but the best are beeswax and lanolin formulas. I really like the Beard Baron brand. Whatever you choose, the type that come in a Chap-Stik style tube seem to work the best.
There are a multitude of YouTube videos out there that show you the step-by-step process for applying it, but the Cliff Notes version is this: you extrude ⅛" or so of wax from the tube, use a hair dryer on the hot temp/low speed setting to melt a thin film of wax from the end of the tube, and apply it to your mustache – just run the tube along the length of your mustache. You may have to do more than application. Don’t overdo it, you want a small amount evenly distributed, not big globs here and there. Regardless, the wax will immediately harden and look gunky, lumpy, and generally terrible. Fear not. Grab a fine-tooth comb and use the hairdryer to re-melt the wax that’s on your mustache. As you train the hot air on your mustache to keep the wax melted, use the comb and repeatedly brush through the hair to distribute the wax, paying careful attention to the tips. Comb through your mustache more than you think you’ll need to as you really want that wax evenly distributed without and clumps or overly-saturated areas. Then style the mustache how you want and finally use the “cool” override button on the hairdryer to set it.
This will take some trial and error but once you have the hang of it it won’t take more than a couple of minutes to do the whole procedure.
There are sources online that say you can do all of the above with your fingers. I’ve never found this to be true despite a lot of practice. The results are, at best, inconsistent. Usually the wax ends up clumpy and visible in your mustache hair because no amount of rubbing or coaxing will actually melt and evenly distribute the wax. The hair dryer method is the only way to get consistent, clean results.
If all you want to do is pull the tips into semi-curled points rather than trying to tame an unruly mustache in its entirety, forget the wax and use something a bit more benign and user-friendly like this stuff. Again, trial and error is key. However, this stuff is meant to be used with your fingers so you can just put a little film of the paste on your fingertips and rub it in. Its not as effective on a thick mustache like mine but if all you’re doing is styling the tips into a handlebar, it should work.
Yes, it needs to be washed out and re-applied each day. But since we’re all washing our beard and mustaches with soap/shampoo each morning (we all are doing this, right?), it shouldn’t be much of an added hardship.
I wash my head and facial hair each morning with Dr. Bronner’s liquid soap. Then I use a moisturizing conditioner so my beard doesn’t spend all day looking like an SOS pad. The beard just needs a good brushing after the shower, the mustache gets the aforementioned styling.
By the end of the day the 'stache can look a little droopy but it just needs a bit of re-styling with my fingers – its not like the wax I applied in the morning has evaporated or something. It’s still in there waiting to do its job. A couple times a day I’ll take a bathroom break and make sure it’s still looking the way I want it.
With 3 or 4 minutes of effort in the morning and 2 or 3 30-second commitments scattered throughout the day my mustache gives Will Vinton’s a run for its money, and for that the marginal effort is definitely worth it.
