Targeted Internet marketing at its best

Just this evening as I was deleting my heaps of steaming spam from my email account, I wondered what these spammers thought of me. I’ve received spams with subjects like “All Natural Breast Enlargement”, “Male enhancer”, “Christian Lovers Dating Service”, and “Hottest African American Authors”. So according to the spam I get, I am a small-breasted/poorly endowed hermaphrodyte, Christian Single, interested in reading books strictly by African American authors. In reality, I am none of these (Except for the single part :frowning: ) ! So my question is this: What are some of the strangest or most absurd Spam emails you’ve received?

Welcome to the SDMB, Frank. (Can I call you Frank? ;))

I don’t get a lot of spam; I’m pretty good about blocking it. However, I did get an offer for some barnyard porn, complete with samples. :eek:


I just got a spam for Paintball field netting. I think their target market is a wee bit too narrow for random spamming. The text:

“Is it time to update your paintball field? How is your current field netting holding up? Does your netting still meet the 10 shots at 300fps in a 4in circle insurance standard? Are you looking to expand and offer your players more playing fields?”

            At we offer custom size netting to fit you and your fields needs. If you are looking to do any of the above or are looking to open a new field all together, feel free to email or call of for a personalized quote. Also, ask us about multiple roll discounts."

As a UK resident, I’m usually bemused at the offers of cheap dental and health plans.

You know, they’re not getting me either. I get all kinds of “refinance your mortgage” spam (I don’t have a house), golf ball spam (I’d hurt myself), ink/toner spam (I buy a new cartridge MAYBE once a year), and Viagra spam (No, I don’t want chemicals interfering with it).

I’ve received spam pointing out how annoying spam is and offering to sell me a filter.

Here’s a fun one that I kept simply because it was so odd. In toto:

First verse, standard spam. Second verse, wtf?

Well, that bit about Arthur is an excerpt from a book by Douglas Adams called The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. EXCELLENT book, btw… I have NO idea why that would be in here, but that is a good one!

in there, rather…bloody typos…

Initially I thought it was snark-ily funny to get spam about breast enlargement right after I’d had close to 3000 grams of breast taken off… Talk about “Ask me how I lost 6 lbs in three hours!!!”

The random rubbish at the end of the spam above is most likely to get past spam-filters. It worked! :eek:

Septic tanks/chemicals. I don’t have a septic tank.

Hot stock pics. Yeah, suuuure.

Mortages. Own my house, paid for.

Drugs. I bet they’re real good ones, too.

The normal porn.

My ISP recently put in a Postini filter (I think that’s what they call it) and it gets caught there. I’m not sure what most of it is, since I just delete it all and most of them are either random characters or very vague about their content.