Teach me street smarts: are these people con artists or just down on their luck?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I have no street smarts. I’m too trusting, because I myself am trustworthy. I don’t lie to people so I assume everyone else tells the truth.

A few days ago a married couple came to my door. The story was they had just moved in near my house, had no food/water/money for kerosene for their heater. They were asking if they could do some work for me (my outside stairs to be specific) for $20 or so.

We talked a while, they gave me their names and showed me which house they’re in (I can see their roof from my front porch but they’re about 2 streets away). I gave them some bottled water, some canned food and a $10 bill. (Yes, I know now that giving cash to strangers is stupid.)

So they left. About 8:30 tonight there’s a knock at the door, and it’s just the husband. Song and dance about no money for the kerosene heater and did I have $5. No, I didn’t, I explained, as I almost never have cash on me (this is true). I suggested the homeless shelter, which he rejected because they had once stayed there and were supposedly treated badly. Suggested the cops, which he said might be an idea but was noncommittal. He said something about how he had a “pellet gun” and wished he could sell it for $15 or $20, even though “it’s worth $180.” (That right there made me wonder.)

Am I being scammed or are these people simply down on their luck and desperate? I’m leaning towards “scammed” because if my house was unheated, I’d stay at Jack the Ripper’s house if there was heat and I knew I’d be unharmed during the night.

What can I do to make them go away? Having someone show up at my house while it’s dark (asking for money, of all things) is unnerving. I have a kid in the house. I don’t know these people and I don’t know what their game is. I don’t want to be a hardass but I’m NOT putting myself in a dangerous situation.

I put in a call to the cops because I figure either way they need to know. If these people really need help, maybe the cops can point them in the right direction. If they’re cons, maybe they can go have a little meet and greet and tip them off that people in the neighborhood are suspicious. Supposedly one of the officers is going to call me back to talk about it. They’re terribly understaffed so I’m thinking I might hear from them, oh, Tuesday.

How can I spot a con in the future? Are there any mannerisms that drug addicts have (this guy looked normal, no tremors or anything but had a shabby appearance). I’ll never give a stranger cash anymore but I don’t want to automatically assume that everyone is lying. I never want to refuse to help someone who really needs it. On the other hand, I don’t want to set myself up for my house getting broken into or something.

2

Okay, if you’re the kind of couple that was able to purchase a home, wouldn’t you also be the kind of couple that also has a debit card? Or a credit card? Or, I don’t know, has friends they could call up, and then stay with?

My general rule of thumb is if someone is flat out asking you for money to help them out of a jam, it’s a con. If you are have doubts about the truth behind someone’s claims, imagine what you would do in the same situation.

If you didn’t have access to money, wouldn’t you stay with friends?

If your car broke down and you had to walk to a gas station to get gas, wouldn’t you call someone when you get to the gas station so that you wouldn’t have to beg for money?

If you have a job waiting for you in a nearby city, but can’t afford bus fare, wouldn’t you hitchhike?

3

Re their living situation the story they gave me was the landlord was letting them live there for free. In exchange, they are fixing up the house for the landlord. The story is he’s a stonemason and they are both handy with tools, which is how they make their living, supposedly.

They gave me the names of several churches they’ve done work for in the area. I’m calling them on Monday.

4

Part of it is instinctual. If you have a feeling that something isn’t right, chances are it isn’t.

I learned this when working in retail. The security team at the store told me that if you have a feeling that someone is shoplifting or trying to return stolen merchandise, then call security. Sometimes when customers approached me I got a heavy feeling in my gut that something about that person wasn’t on the up and up. Those times when I called security because of this feeling I was right, and each time I got that feeling, and didnt call security, someone else would make the call and I had to somehow explain why I just let the person go.

Sounds like you have a similar suspicion, otherwise you wouldn’t have posted your concern, and as such your suspicion is probably warranted.

5

See, here’s the problem with giving them something in such a situation: They came right back to you again!

I, too, hate to be a hardass, but it’s the only way to keep from being taken advantage of.
Also, I’ve had strangers want to do some work for small amounts of money, when it turned out all they were doing was casing my place to see if there was a way to come back later and steal something.

So even though it makes me feel bad sometimes, I never give to people in circumstances like that.

6

Also, I’ve had strangers want to do some work for small amounts of money, when it turned out all they were doing was casing my place to see if there was a way to come back later and steal something.

The thought had crossed my mind. Fortunately I never let either of them in, nor will I.

Our last next door neighbor did this, though hangs head

We thought she was just here to chat with us, as we would talk from time to time. Then a bunch of our DVDs went missing, as well as a brand new drill, a few of MrSnoopy’s swords, etc.

I still can’t figure out how THAT crackhead even got into our house!

7

Something like this actually happened to my Nanna last year.

She lives in a big old house by herself right now and some guy came around looking to do odd jobs for money. Nanna gave him a couple of jobs and a little money and a sandwich… he kept coming back to her after that until she told him to leave her alone. She’s big on the charity thing but she should’ve never given him stuff.

I don’t really have any advice except I always wonder about people asking me for money. I lived with some really crappy people (and had lots of street kids running in and out for a few months) so I got to learn how they did some of this stuff by listening to them gab to each other and hand out tips.

8

SnoopyFan: it’s a con.

In this day and age there are few non-con reasons for ANYONE to have to ask a stranger for money.

Actually, the only one I can think of is “My house just burned down and all the neighbours are away and I need to call my partner.”

Oh hang on, here’s another: “I just dropped my wallet down this drain and I need to make a phone call.”

9

The influence of Friday’s full moon must be lingering, because I’m about to advise you not to show compassion. It strikes me as a scam, too. There are, to my disgust, people who will use Christianity to play upon people’s better instincts and take advantage of them. This sounds like two of them. If they’ve done work for “several churches in the area”, I would expect one of the churches to help them out.

One rule of thumb I have for distinguishing scammers from those who are truly needy is to offer them an alternative. In your case, I have a space heater which I seldom use; I probably would have offered them that or enough money to buy one. A small, electric space heater goes for less than $50.00 USD.

This is how I learned my lesson about scammers who use religion. Back when I was living in Hawaii and working in Waikiki, a woman stopped me on the street, told me she’d got separated from her church group, and asked me for cab fare to the other side of the island, about $40.00. She kept telling me I could trust her because she was a Christian and saying that, if I gave her my address, she’d mail me the money back. Now, I tended to be all to close to broke in those days, and I didn’t have $40.00 on me, but I did offer her bus fare, which was 60 cents, and instructions on which busses to take. She would not accept the bus fare, and only wanted the $40.00. The conversation ended with me going back to the office without giving her a dime. Like SnoopyFan, I wondered if I’d turned down a person who was genuinely in need. A month later, the same woman tried the same scam on me. A month! That time, I knew it was a scam so I made a little side trip to the little police station on Waikiki Beach and told them about both encounters.

This is going to sound awful, considering all the blithering I do about religion around here, but as a rule, the more someone tells me how good a Christian they are, or the more they try to invoke Christianity in general, the less I am inclined to believe them.

Anyway, that’s my Sunday morning two cents, although I’ll throw in a bus ticket. :wink:

CJ

10

I am street smart!!! (which means I generally know whay street I am on) :smiley:

11

Years ago when you applied for credit and filled in all the forms they used to ask you stuff like:

Nearest relative not living with you
Names of two friends not living with you
Someone you work with

One time filling in a form I asked the guy why they ask all this crap. He replied,“It’s just to get rid of the hopeless. Can you imagine what kind of people have no friends or relatives that will act as references for them?”

Well if I was really stuffed and needed money I wouldn’t be approaching neighbours I don’t know - I have plenty of friends and relatives who would keep me from dying (for a while at least).

12

sorry for the hijack but, huh :confused:

"ack! this pair of shoes i stole doesn’t fit! i’ll bring it back to the stores tomorrow and change it. "

13

They steal things, then try to “return” them because what they really want is the cash. They’re not really interested in the “shoes” in the first place.

14

oh, thanks. that sounds audacious, or simply being dumb. don’t stores require a receipt for returns and such?

15

That’s what I was thinking.

I’ve returned things at Wal-Mart without the receipt, and all they will do is give me store credit (which is fine). I’ve never gotten actual cash on a return without a receipt.

16

No, stores USUALLY won’t give them money without a receipt. If their Loss Prevention staff is on the ball, they’ll track the “frequent returners” and invalidate their return cards or ban them from the store…

However, they still get the credit, so now they have $100 to spend at Wal-Mart instead of nothing. Or they can sell the stuff on EBay and make some cash.

That said, some of them know that if they throw a big enough hissy fit, the cashier will give in or the manager will give them what they want under the “The Customer is always right!” ethos. Or they might try to play for compassion…you know, they lost the receipt and REALLY need the money. Or they sell the return card to people in the parking lot and BOOM, instant cash.

17

Feeling uneasy about this is a street-smart flag.

Test it in your mind: they are proposing to work on your stairs, which would put them at your entrance with tools and an excuse for making hammering noises. Is this good?
Tomorrow you’re away, they reappear, from the neighbors’ point of view this is all explained. Then you come home, your front door is busted and your stuff is stolen, and guess what, they house they pointed out is inhabited by an elderly couple who never heard of these guys.
Another mind test: how many landlords give free rent for repairs?

Street smart II: keep damage-control in mind.
IE, giving someone $20 on the street is better controlled than them knowing where you live (and sometimes the street beggar is really approaching you for a purse-snatching or mugging).

Street smart III: Do reality checks.*
Check out the indicated house.

Street smart IV:
One reason you pay taxes is so those down-on-their-luck can be taken care of by professionals, and you don’t have to investigate every case yourself.

Street smart V:
You don’t have to be always nice, especially when someone appears to be taking advantage.

*I love reality checks. From my local paper: Exterminator is ‘clearing out snakes’ by setting off smoke bombs under houses. Elderly lady asks to be shown the dead snakes (reality check). Exterminator: “The gas is so strong that the snakes are dissolved.” BZZZT!

18

I’m no practicing Christian, but these sorts of situations seem to be a perfect opportunity for religious folks to do that thing about teaching to fish rather than giving a fish – or at least some variation upon that.

They want kerosene for their heater? Don’t give 'em money, tell em you’ll drop by their house tomorrow sometime with a spare can that you have in your basement. Sorry I can’t give it to you now, but I have to find it, you know.

That way you can check out their bona fides and such. Or case their joint to see if they have anything you want to rip off.
:smiley:

19

Oh, also, I’d lay down the law about them not coming over at night. Next time they do it, just tell them firmly that you do not take visitors after dark. If they do it again, call the cops straightaway.

20

You don’t know that they are married.
You don’t know that they just moved in.
You don’t know that they had no money.
You don’t know that they have a kerosene heater.
You don’t know that they gave you their real names (regardless of whether they showed ID).
You don’t know that they live in the house indicated.
Etc.

All you know is that they asked for money. As others have said, that in itself virtually guarantees it’s a scam.

Now think about some of the circumstances here.

They’ve moved into a house with no heat and no water. How likely is that? Where and how will they relieve themselves? If they have no water, why didn’t they ask to use your bathroom?

Why do people so poor own a kerosene heater?

Why would they be knocking on doors two blocks away? It’s a lot easier to deal with next-door neighbors, who can see that you’re actually a neighbor.

It’s not practical to try to catch all the inconsistencies and lies at the moment you’re hit up for money. It is practical to treat all such requests as scams. People who really need help know where to go – churches, food pantries, soup kitchens, shelters, etc. Give what you can to those places, and tell the beggars to go there for help.

If you always refuse to give money to strangers ( = people you don’t know well), it’s a virtually certainty you will never be denying a worthy soul something he can’t get from charities better suited to provide it.