I’m hoping maybe last night he got the hint once I told him I never carry cash on me. If he (or she) comes over again, regardless of what time of day it is, I’m telling them that they’re gonna need to contact the welfare office or something because there’s nothing more I can do because I’m almost as broke as they are (which is true) and to quit hitting me up.
And I’m never, ever giving a stranger cash again.
Always tell people that you don’t keep cash in the house. It doesn’t matter if you’re telling the truth or lying, but always SAY that never keep cash in the house. Some people keep a fairly large emergency fund on hand at all times, and con artists know this and will try to find out if you do, and if you do, where you keep it. You’ve already earned yourself a reputation as an easy touch with these folks, unfortunately.
If you know your neighbors at all, now is the time to start making calls on them, and ask them if they’ve had similar visits from these people. You might find out enough to call the cops. In fact, you might want to file a suspicious activity report with the police even on the little you’ve told us about.
My rule of thumb is to NEVER give a donation to anyone who comes to my door unsolicited (if I’ve invited them, that’s another matter) or to people who call me unsolicited, or who approach me on the street or in my car. Basically, if THEY approach ME then I’m wary. This applies to all charity and sales appeals. If I feel like donating, I know of several places where I can get rid of usable clothes and furniture, and I have several causes that I donate money to.
In the future, don’t open the door after dark. You can yell back and forth through a closed door, so they’ll know that someone’s in there, but don’t answer the door. Sure, it’s rude, but you have a responsibility to keep yourself and your child safe. YOU don’t need to open that door at all. THEY want you to open the door, because then you’ll be more vulnerable to any story they might weave. You’re also more vulnerable to force when you open the door.
Incidentally, I think that the pellet gun for sale was probably hot, and they were trying to see if you kept any money in the house, and they were also letting you know that they had a weapon.
My gut feeling is that these people mean you no good at all, and that you would do well to keep clear of them.
Besides the fact that oh yeah are you being scammed, what happened to the $10 you already gave them? They used it up on kerosene in one day? So they needed another $5 for more kerosene?
I see people like this all the time. There’s a woman who has got a regular gig near my office. I’ve heard her sob story a hundred times. One day I saw a person from my building actually listening to her sad tale of woe about not having bus fare and found out later that she actually gave it to her. I had to let her know that this woman “needs bus fare” every single day.
There’s another couple who have a gig where the guy comes up to people with his hand covered in blood, saying they were just mugged and he was stabbed and can they have money to pay for the doctor? They asked me once and I said that if they were mugged and assaulted, maybe you should consider finding a cop first, and they would surely be taken to the county hospital. But no, they didn’t want to do that. They also wanted to go the hospital on the other side of town instead of the one 5 minutes away. I’ve seen them on the same corner many times since.
P.S. Even if they were using that $10 for food AND water AND kerosene, they sure have expensive tastes if they used it up all in one day. What did they get for dinner, filet mignon? Surely two people can manage for one day to exist on less than $10 worth of food.
I must need glasses - this is the second time today I’ve misread a post. It was several days, not one day, between visits. My mistake.
If it makes you feel any better Snoopy, something similar happened to me, married couple at the door with sob story, claiming to live in neighborhood, given money, showed up again after dark the same day, etc. etc.
except this went on for at least a week and when we totaled up all we had given them it was $240. For the record, I was ready to call it quits about $100 before that, but my soft-hearted husband wasn’t quite.
Since they kept insisting they were going to pay it back, my husband finally asked them to sign a note acknowledging the amount they owed us and promising to pay.
Never heard from them again.
If it seems amazing to you that we would let it go on for so long and pay out so much, I will add that our baby daughter had died a few weeks before, so we were, perhaps, not quite at our full capacity.
In the final analysis it doesn’t really matter if somebody is a scammer or is truly in need. The bottom line is that if someone is such a loser as to be knocking on doors asking for money, you do not want to be mixed up with them. God forbid you actually become a friend. Then you become the friend they turn to instead of asking strangers.
Typically, whenever that happens I ask myself if the situation is plausible. Step back and really give them a good look and see if their situation makes sense to you. Let them wait while you eye them up. Being a natural pessimist helps. If its a simple request, Im more than willing to help a person out. But when it comes to money or items, I never give these out to anyone I do not personaly know.
A local newspaper columnist wrote some years ago that he had a standard method for dealing with people who asked him for money on the street. He would ask what they wanted it for. If they said they needed food, he would say, “I was on my way down to the restaurant. I’ll buy you all you want.” If they said they needed bus fare to where ever, he would say, “I’m headed out that way myself. I’ll drop you off.” He NEVER had any takers.
Everything about your story sounds all wrong. Even if everything these people told you was true (fat chance) your first gift to them should have been more than enough for the day. Somebody who comes back after dark for more and makes a point of telling you he has a gun (pellet or otherwise) should be ringing the alarm bells. If you see these people again it might be worth getting a picture (if you can do it through a window or in some other way that won’t cause them to come after you) and give it the police. The cop on patrol will at least know who to keep an eye on.
Unfortunately my city’s police force is way, way understaffed.
How understaffed, you ask? Well, the population here (just in the city) is about 50-55k. Last I heard there were 97 cops for the whole county.
However it’s been 2 days so I figure every day they don’t show up is a good sign that they’ve looked for someone else to leech off of.
Snoop, the fact that you’ve asked the question means you already know the answer, and are looking for validation for turning down these scammers. Which is cool, but the dopers who’ve posted so far are spot on.
Them looking for the mix of cash and stuff makes you feel like it’s not a scam, but it is. Living in Chicago, and going into the Loop (downtown) you get hit with scammers all over the place, they’re easy to spot.
They’re (usually) extraordinarily friendly. Busy people with busy lives and places to be and things to do, usually don’t need a moment of your time during which they plan to extricate you from your hard earned pesos.
Likewise, people who knock on your door, have too much time on their hands to think of ways to extract money from well intentioned souls like yourself.
I’d advise against opening the door for them again, regardless of the circumstances, and should they spend even a nanosecond too long on your porch, call back the constabulary and tell them there’s some guy trying to get into your house, and he refuses to leave. Odds are that once the cops get there, the guy will have either a warrant, or a sufficent criminal history that the local cops will exploit in order to extend an invitation to the grey bar bed and breakfast.
If anyone asks you for <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=money&v=55”>money</a> and you don’t know them then it is almost definatley a scam. I lived in Bristol (UK) for five years and the city has a notoriousley high amount of beggars, scammers etc. Without fail every <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=single&v=55”>single</a> one I ever met had A: a place to live, B: access to <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=free&v=55”>free</a> <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=food&v=55”>food</a> and most importantley C: a heroin, crack or alcohol addiction. Now I don’t mind giving a bit of change to a guy asking for change on the street as long as he is polite as it is essentially a selfish act on my part to feel better about myself but when <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=people&v=55”>people</a> like this show up at your door and tell you that they have a gun you should worry. Put it this way, could you ever see yourself in a posistion where you had no <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=friends&v=55”>friends</a> or <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=family&v=55”>family</a> to turn to and the only option was to ask total strangers? No? The reason being is that the only way you get in this situation is by alienating your <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=friends&v=55”>friends</a> and <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=family&v=55”>family</a> with your (most probabley) drug addled behaviour and constant requests for <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=money&v=55”>money</a>. At best they will be harmless but annoying junkies who will ask for <a href=“http://www.ntsearch.com/search.php?q=money&v=55”>money</a> until you tell them firmly to fuck off, at worst they could be extremley volatile nutters who might just kick your door off and rob you blind. If they come back i’d call the police.
What the hell happened there? Is there anyway a Mod can take out all the annoying ad links?
Stranger at my door = con, period.
WILLASS, you’ve got yourself some spyware.
Check out the link to clear out what you’ve got, and download Spybot and Ad-Aware. Run them regularly to keep yourself safe.
I work at my church, teaching Preschool. We have people showing up all the time, asking for money for food.
The teens at my church can earn community service hours making up box lunches (specifically for those people), filled with non-perishable food items like granola bars and fruit cups and those tuna salad kits and water bottles; usually enough food for two meals. It’s funny to see people change their stories in their quest for cold hard cash. They’ll refuse the box lunch, and change it to needing money for a taxi to get across town. Whoeever is helping them, one of the Pastors or an associate, then offers them a bus voucher, and the story changes again to needing money for something else. They usually end up getting PO’d and leaving without anything. The Pastors WILL NOT give them cash.
Granted, some people do take the box lunch and a bus voucher, and are very grateful, and do seem very needy. But they’re few and far between.
I generally put anything I am not certain about into the “scam” folder. Whatever you do, do not let these type of people do odd jobs for cash. How long will it be before one of them gets hurt on your property and you’re facing the choice of a lawsuit or giving them cash so they don’t sue?
A story which happened to me to illustrate how some of these people work. One day in 1990 something, I’m sitting in a motel lobby talking to the clerk about something when a guy comes in asking for money. He claims he works down the street and ran out of gas. The story has nice details about a boss who was supposed to meet them and never showed and other little tid-bits. About 5 years later, I’m sitting in a barber shop at least 20 miles away when in walks the same guy with the same story. Think about it, this guy was using the same story 5 years later and was covering a very wide area.
Do you really make more spending your time begging for money than flipping burgers? Is it easier to beg for money than work?
If anyone asks you for money and you don’t know them then it is almost definatley a scam. I lived in Bristol (UK) for five years and the city has a notoriousley high amount of beggars, scammers etc. Without fail every single one I ever met had A: a place to live, B: access to freefood and most importantley C: a heroin, crack or alcohol addiction. Now I don’t mind giving a bit of change to a guy asking for change on the street as long as he is polite as it is essentially a selfish act on my part to feel better about myself but when people like this show up at your door and tell you that they have a gun you should worry. Put it this way, could you ever see yourself in a posistion where you had friends or family to turn to and the only option was to ask total strangers? No? The reason being is that the only way you get in this situation is by alienating your friends and family with your (most probabley) drug addled behaviour and constant requests for money. At best they will be harmless but annoying junkies who will ask for money until you tell them firmly to fuck off, at worst they could be extremley volatile nutters who might just kick your door off and rob you blind. If they come back i’d call the police.
Thanks Lord Derfel!
More work overall than doing a mindless minimum wage job? Probably not. However, going to a job every day requires getting up at the same time, getting there on time, etc. and there are TONS of people (I’ve lived and worked with several) that have problems with this very basic skill, so something where you could “set your own hours”, so to speak, would be more attractive to them.
Welll…
True story.
Once, when I was working at the erstwhile Horseshoe, I had gotten “bumped” from the shift and sent home. As I walked out onto Fremont Street, this guy comes up to me and asks me to buy him a cheap meal at a nearby hotel restaraunt. Mind you, this is at four in the morning in downtown Las Vegas, which is just not a good place to be.
Not being in the mood to travel with this stranger, I proposed buying him some bread and lunchmeat at a 7-11 which was much closer, and in view of Fremont Street security personnel. Together, we selected a large package of sliced turkey breast, actual good quality sliced cheese (I wanted to buy him at least semi-nutritious food), and a loaf of bread. Then he started to push the envelope. He wanted me to buy him a bottle of soda. I said no- bought him bottled water instead (juice or milk I might have gone for, but not soda- I figured he could eat crap on his own dime, but not mine), then he starts grabbing stuff off the shelf, saying “I want this, and this”- at this point, he was mostly grabbing junk food. He just couldn’t grok that I had agreed to buy him food for a few days worth of nutritious meals and wasn’t up for financing empty calories. Even after hearing, “no, I’m not going to buy you that,” he would still try to pick up more junk. I finally caved and agreed to buy him a bag of chips, but no more. He immediately grabbed a candy bar. This guy was so pushy it was unbelievable. A normal person would have accepted the bread, cheese, turkey and bottled water and been grateful, but not this guy. I ended up spending twelve bucks on him, when I really should have only spent about seven. It wasn’t even an inability on my part to say “no”. I did say “no”, and he just wouldn’t accept it as an answer. He would just grab items off the shelf as though it were his own money he was spending, and not that of a charitable stranger. He wasn’t asking permission, not saying, “would you mind if I got a candy bar?” He would just take it off the shelf and inform me that he was going to get it. If I hadn’t kept an eye on him, he probably would have ended up with about $25 worth of crap by the time we got to the register, and as pushy as he was, made such a scene when we got there that I would have been shamed into paying for the crap.
Oh, well, at least I know the money went for food, most of it nutritious, and not for booze or drugs. But in a way, I think it would have been more honorable of him to just beg for cash, and take whatever I was in a mood to hand him, than to ask me to buy him food then keep demanding more and more items. I imagine if I had given in to his first request, instead of the $3.99 graveyard special, he would have ordered an expensive meal and dessert, figuring that I wouldn’t want to make a scene in front of the waiter and other customers.
Beggars in Bristol could make in excess of £80 a day, no boss, no start/finish time…i’m in the wrong business!
I must add that this was reported in the paper so could be liable to exaggeration but I actually knew quite a few beggars personally and they corroborated this evidence. One guy got given £400 by one guy!