Technical advice on draft artwork greatly appreciated

What it says on the box. If you feel you must shower me with gushing praise, please drop some change in my paypal account (link on the front page of my website; every little bit would help me pay for my ridiculously expensive education.

Massive Group Picture - Obviously just a very rough draft to figure out character placement and poses. Need help with perspective and composition.

She Went Postal - This picture deserves better treatment. And also maybe a different “camera” angle: keep it at the guy’s POV, redo it from the girl’s, or a side “shot”? Or maybe all three?