In other words, “the ususal”. 
I had the misfortune once of witnessing a Big Mac that had been left under the heat lamp for no less than 2 hours (before the current system of leaving the individual ingredients under separate, hidden heat lamps to give the illusion of freshness, we were supposed to discard food that had been under the main lamps for more than 10 minutes). This zombified Big Mac was remarkably like your description, plus it had a horrible sour smell. I can only imagine the uproar if that instrument of darkness had shuffled its way out the drive-thru window into someone’s car.
Correct! Next question:
Einstein and his girlfriend have to leave for an 8pm movie. They are ten miles away from the movie theater. When will he have to leave to make the start time of the movie if he drives at a steady 45 miles per hour? (Extra credit: figure the time Einstein will have to leave if there are three red lights of two minute duration along his route.)
Do they get to use a train?
I can’t do these unless there’s a train.
umm… now?
how about now?
now?
(10mi)(1hr/45mi)(60min/hr)=13 and 1/3 minutes = travel time.
(8 o’clock) - (13 and 1/3 minutes) = 7:46:40 = departure time to arrive at 8 o’clock.
bonus: (7:46:40) - [(3) (2 minute red lights)] = 7:40:40 = departure time to arrive at 8 o’ clock.
Of course, this doesn’t account for acceleration, deceleration, walk time, ticket purchasing, waiting in line, buying popcorn etc., which are all unpredictable variables and thus cannot be factored into the equation.
Sorry I didn’t answer this in a funny manner.
Super bonus: convert the departure time from the bonus question to picograms.
They never make the movie. The movie is a cover and they go parking three blocks from her place.
33 gallons per minute.
Ah. A lateral thinking problem. In that case: upon parking, they make “their own movie.” 
The title of which is: “Pulling out prevents pregnancy and STDs” :rolleyes:
OOOOOOOOH More Math!
Ok, first they start out for the movie theater. Einstein gets 6.5 miles down the road and realizes he’s headed in the wrong direction, so they have to turn around. He notices a McD’s with a parking lot he can turn around in. Since they have to go in the parking lot to turn around, Einstein decides he needs a Big Mac [sup]TM[/sup] fix. So he goes to the drive thru but there’s like eight cars ahead of him full of soccer moms and screaming kids who want their Happy Meals[sup]TM[/sup] NOW! So this takes 45 minutes. Einstein gets up to the speakers and orders his burger, fries and super size Mountain Dew[sup]TM[/sup]. He asks gf if she wants anything and she says no. They get to the pay window and gf suddenly has to have a Diet Coke[sup]TM[/sup] and an apple pie. Since he didn’t order it at the speaker, the pay window lady has to put in the order and tell him how much it is. Einstein then pulls up to the food window and gets his food and drives off, in the wrong direction. He goes 4.3 miles this time before he realizes it and has to turn around again. In the meantime, gf has squirted apple pie filling all over her shirt so they have to go back to her house so she can change. So far they have driven 22.4 miles and are now 15 miles from the movie theater. It takes one hour and twenty-three minutes for gf to decide what new shirt goes with her jeans and shoes. Now they are ready to go to the movie. Einstein takes off, once again in the wrong direction. He drives in this direction for approximately 3.7 miles before he realizes it. He turns around again, this time in the parking lot of Taco Bell, where he suddenly realizes he is jonesing for a burrito, so he sits in the drive through line again for 20 minutes for his burrito. Gf, of course, says she doesn’t want anything until they get to the pay window where she decides she needs a Diet Pepsi[sup]TM[/sup]. Well, you know the drill. After 37 minutes they are back on the road where, miracle of miracles, Einstein actually manages to go in the right direction. Now they are 23.6 miles away from the theater. To make up time, Einstein guns it and gets pulled over. Luckily he only gets a warning ticket. So, Einstein slows it down to 45 MPH. There are six accidents, 32 redlights and 9 four way stops between Taco Bell and the theater.
Einstein needs to leave home two and a half days before the movie starts to get there on time.
Do I get an A? 
The sad thing is I just got that answer was wrong. :smack:
Study harder, young bananas.
Show the world you are a product of the Dope instead of just hopped up on it!
But not just any meal. This meal is for Big Kids. Perhaps even Mighty?
Yes, you do, swampbear.
Now, because Mrs. Ivylass will be absent for a while due to a visitor named Frances, swampbear will be your substitute teacher.
A final question before I must help Mr. Ivylad make room in the garage for the van…
Einstein shows up at school, but he has missed six assignments in three different classes. His mother has grounded him until he catches up his work. How long will it be before he can take his math-impaired girlfriend out on a date again? (Hint, one of the classes is an elective. Think carefully! Use your logical thinking skills.)
They may breed but they won’t multiply
Hmmm…so what’s in an adult Happy Meal?
47 1/2 years. Unless one of the classes is math, in which case it’s 2687 years.
Actually, McDonald’s has those. They’re a salad, pedometer, and a drink.
hope you’re up for salad tossing.
You don’t want to know.