Couldn’t find any reference to this in search…
My favorite questions:
Do you get time off for going to a dentist? Is it important to have good teeth for your job? Which toothpaste would you recommend?
As I read it, this site was trying to “reverse” the conversation and actually collect “lifestyle data” from the telemarketer (as opposed to the telemarketer getting it from you), which will then be used (somehow). Sounds cool, but too much effort. Although I’m sure they will have been posted before, I prefer the following strategies:
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Say "No… no… no… " in a monotone, keeping the same rhythm regardless of what they say, until they hang up.
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Pretend that you think the telemarketer is your friend winding you up: “Hey, yeah, I know it’s you Leroy… yeah, good joke, but you might as well give up now… seriously Leroy, come on man…” etc.
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[My favourite] Say that you are too busy to talk right now, but offer to take the telemarketer’s home phone number and call them back later. When they reply that they are not allowed to give this information, you reply: “Oh! I guess that’s because you don’t like idiots calling you at home for no reason! Same here! Goodbye!”
There are others which I can’t remember right now. If only I had the guts to actually use them - guess I’m too polite :).
Dead Cat’s #3 is one of the best,but there are a few more I like just as well.
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Set down the phone and walk away. I’ve come back five minutes later and found the droid still talking.
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Even better, tune out the content and make noncommittal noises as the rhythm requires. With a little practice, this takes no attention at all, and keeps the droid talking even longer.
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After the droid has gone through the entire spiel, ask who is sponsoring the call and explain politely that you never do business with a company that uses phone solicitation, and you’ll be advising everyone you know to avoid them.
When they ask me how I am I start telling them about the 'roids and just keep it up until they quit.
One of my favourites it to pick up on something really irrelevant in the spiel and ask continually about it, I had one foreign sounding gentlemen try to sell me a mobile (cell) phone, he started talking about polyphonic ringtones, so I asked “Well what’s that?”, he replied “Oh it means your ringtones are classic”, so says I “Can I get a bit of Bach?” “Whaa?” “Some Tchaicovsky perhaps?”… carried on like that for a while then finished with “Sorry, I’m not interested”.
I had a really persistent guy from chemlawn who would call, then hang up, though sometimes, I would hang up on him. When I finally got him on the phone, I asked him what he was wearing. (I’m a straight male) He got fairly freaked out when I then asked whether it was cotton, or a cotton/poly blend shirt, and demanded to know whether I wanted his lawn treatment. I explained that since I rent, and am responsible for mowing the lawn, his service would only make the lawn grow better, so I’m not interested.
He never called back.
I have a few things that I like to do to telemarketers.
1.) Let out a screach/bellow/other lound noise into the phone, then immediately hang up.
2.) As soon as they identify themselves/the company they work for, try to order a pizza. Say something like, “Yeah, I’d like a large pepperoni with extra cheese…”
3.) Say that you’ll buy whatever they’re selling, but only of they buy something that you are selling.
4.) (this only works if you have a family or group of people that you are living with) Let them do the entire spiel, then tell them, “Oh, no you want [insert name of other person] they’re in charge of [what the telemarketer is selling].” The the next person does the same thing, untill you get to the last person, who says, “No, we dont want it.”
I remember years and years ago when I was a new car salesman, my GM told me to never open a conversation with, “How are you doing?” He said there was a fair chance the person will actually tell you.
This was with a door-to-door somebody or other who just wouldn’t leave…but many moons ago I had a roomie who, as I said, couldn’t get rid of some guy at the door. My roomie ended up saying something along the lines of, “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you come on in and we’ll have a bath and talk about it.” Guy left.
If they call you about anything to do with phone service, just tell them that you don’t have a phone. Boy does that one get followed with confused silence.
Seven- You need to make more Mr. Garland recordings. They are awsome! I listened to them when they came out, and I pine for more.
Well, those happen almost everyday at my house. I just don’t always record them.
You’re welcome to come by for dinner one night during peak call times for a live performace. 
Haven’t read any of the links on this thread, but in our office, when we get marketing calls, we usually just say our company is going bankrupt.
“Why, yes. We have no money, but we are very interested in your offer”
I’ve tried asking them to hold on, then waiting till they hang up.
Recently I immediately ask if they are trying to sell me something.
Responses to this simple question:
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yes
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no (but they confess in the end)
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not exactly
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it’s more of a way of you making money
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pardon? (then they start their spiel again)
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if you’ll just let me finish
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I’m giving you information
Those are hysterical!