[sub]Injun Joe is ticklish![/sub]
I’m actually 5’7" with blonde hair and blue eyes and I moonlight as a Victoria’s Secret model…
If you’re not buying that, while this probably isn’t a secret anymore but Mr. Cynical is my love slave.
I stole 55 dollars from dead people.
Clever Hans: The story doesn’t make it sound so bad.
Here’s a better one:
In May of '92, on my honeymoon, Caribbean Cruise line would not let us off the ship because we gambled all of our money away and couldn’t pay our bar tab after jacking it up to $450.00.
The secret was that I had to call my father to give his credit card number so we could get off the damn ship. I was so young and dumb when I was nineteen. Obviously, I got married didn’t I? :eek:
I’ve been in prison.
To visit my brother. Who was an inmate at the time, for various charges including drug possession and violence and stuff like that.
However, I do have a criminal record for two separate, unrelated, crimes of reasonable seriousness.
I am nauseatingly, sappily, and above all JOYOUSLY in love with the one and only Nocturne. And the best part? It IS requited! 
I know, it’s not a secret to all. But I had to break my posting dry spell with that info.
does a quick little jig
Son, tell your other head not to be rude to his father!
Okay, I’ll bite. Not really all that exciting, but a pretty juicy secret for me, anyhow.
A long time ago, I used to be a witch, a Wiccan witch.
I guess that would’ve made me the Wiccan Witch of the East, heh.
My secret?
I know that regardless of what HE says, DAVEW0071 is NOT a totally unhip square.
Remember the Disney movie Aladdin?
I have always thought that Jafar was FAR sexier than Aladdin.
When I tell people that my oldest daughter lives with her father, I get sympathetic murmurings.
I don’t need the sympathy. My daughter made our lives here a living hell. She needed to be with her father; I couldn’t take it anymore and neither could the rest of the family. My littlest was having nightmares every night and begging her sister (in her sleep) to leave her alone.
So I guess my secret is that I don’t miss having my daughter living with me at this time. But I have to pretend it’s a hardship, because I have discovered that if I admit things are better at home now, I get looked at like I’m Susan Smith.
Sheri
I’m the midnight bomber what bombs at midnight…
obscure Tick reference. Don’t really have any secrets,and Clever Hans’ shouldn’t count either cause he freaking tells everyone who will listen to him about it.
DAMMIT DAMMIT!!! I wanted to SAY that!!! Ugh…now I gotta be serious…hmmmn…I made out with my best friends sister…hehe MADE OUT…
Reoch
Back in 1970, for a practical joke (college freshmen…notoriously stupid people that they are), I stole a swan and put it in my victims dorm room.
And got caught.
No one told ME that they were a federally protected bird…
My stepfather shot his ex-wife. He went to the house where they used to live together, rang the doorbell, waited a few seconds for her to get close to the door, then blasted a hole through the door with a shotgun. Luckily, he did not kill her.
He spent several years in prison during which time my mother married him. I was the maid of honor in a prison wedding.
They have now been married 20 years. He’s still a bastard.
Honey
I once pranked my supervisor’s office, with the assistance of the other supervisors, while he was on vacation.
He has a bad case of obsessive compulsive disorder and *hates * when his things are touched or out of order.
So we first saran wrapped his chair and decorated it with gel cake frosting. Then we covered his desk surfaces with Necco wafers, perfectly lined up.
Then we lined the floor with Dixie Cups, filled with water. We used colored water to spell out “Welcome Back”.
He almost had a heart attack. He asked me if I knew who did it and I said no.
I went in on my day off to do it, best six hours I spent there.
I once posted in a thread that I didn’t have permission to post in.
I’m in class right now, and I’m posting online. I’m not paying attention to the professors. AND we have a strict policy against using the internet while in class.
Curse the rules! Curse them I say!
I flashed my sister-in-law once. Full frontal nudity. She just laughed. The laughter caused instantaneous shrinkage.
I’m wearing KISS boxers.