There’s a security guard at my school that I find vaguely creepy and annoyingly cheerful. I used to take the elevator up to my classroom, but his desk is right next to the elevator, and waiting for the elevator means I have to chat with him. UGH. I just take the stairs now, which doesn’t seem that extreme unless you know me well (I NEVER take stairs if I can help it).
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought this.
Love it! Who was the annoying person and what irritating thing did they do? 
I never avoid irritating people. Let them be irritated; I don’t care.
I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I think it would be reasonable to mention it to the esecurity guy in a non-pushy way. I mean, he IS being really annoying – sometimes someone can be made happy just by wishing it, but often someone is perfectly fine, just don’t have an expressive mouth, or is sad for a good reason, or just doesn’t find being constantly judged makes them more unicorn and rainbowful.
And quite possibly just avoiding him is a lot better than putting up with it or snapping and ripping his head off. But since ripping his head off (however justified) is probably against work professionalism, you could try saying something like “Nice to see you. I know it’s stupid, but I really hate being told to smile, could you say ‘good morning’ or ‘nice to see you’ instead?” Maybe he’ll be horribly offended, but maybe he’s genuinely trying to be nice and just bad at it some people.
When random people say oddly intrusive things, I tend to just stare at them impassively. No response is warranted, so none shall be forthcoming.
I do have trouble with this one local guy I sometimes see at flea markets. He is completely socially retarded. Early 40ish, sells comic books at the markets - which is why I ran into him in the first place. I made the mistake early on of exchanging email addresses, and I did get to sell some of my old 2nd Edition AD&D books to the guy, but he will just. not. shut. up.
He is angry about everything. How the local comic stores won’t buy his books. How comic companies are run. About the state of D&D since 2nd Edition. About every past employer he’s ever had.
So every time I run into him, I try to be polite. He’ll start off on a rant, and after letting him go for a few minutes, I’ll try to politely disengage. “Oh, I need to go grab some food - haven’t eaten yet today.” “Hey, I’m going to go take a look at the other tables before the market closes.” That kind of stuff.
But he doesn’t get it. He actually left his goddamn table to follow me around the flea market to continue his fucking rambling.
I have a real problem being rude to people that I don’t perceive as jerks, even when a little touch of rudeness would be just the thing to fix the problem. So I just grew more and more tense as I felt more and more trapped in this black hole of conversation. I had been carrying a pen in my hand - I actually unconsciously snapped it in frustration.
So I’ve been ignoring his emails lately. I just don’t want to deal with the fucker.
This is very true. I used to be a job develop for people with disabilities, and this is the type of behavior that a good boss or job coach should be correcting immediately.
If you wouldn’t tolerate it from a person without a disability, there’s no reason to tolerate it from someone with one. Inclusion is inclusion, and it’s not doing the guy any favors. Someday he’ll get a new boss or a different job and it won’t be tolerated, and he’ll probably be confused since it is clearly tolerated now.
That said, I’m not implying that you, Ms. Whatsit, need to take this on. I am saying you don’t need to feel badly if you choose to complain.
Now I need to think of answers to the OP.
Maybe you should have a look at http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
There was a security guard who tried to “ban” me from the building of my old job because I wasn’t cordial enough to him and didn’t apologize for having my ID (work issued) on me.
I went out of my way to avoid him every damn time. Bastard was piece of shit. He tried to ban my boss’s boss’s boss too :rolleyes:.
All in all most security guards fall into two categories: jovial people who don’t take their job too seriously but also pay attention to suspicious things and are rather kind and #2, dickwads who couldn’t make it in the police force or service and now want to pretend they have power or pretend you have to make conversation with them.
This guy was a #2.
I would never, ever confront a security guard. Absolutely no good can come of it. The best you can do is complain to your boss and if they know him/hate him too can pass along your complaints.
For some reason, it seems fully 50% of all security guards are there to attempt to chat up female employees and generally make them feel uncomfortable.
It’s actually kind of fucked up.
If I were you, MeanOldLady, after I’d successfully avoided dick security guard for a couple months, I’d make an anonymous complaint to the building management or whoever employs the security company. He’ll never connect it to you, since it’s been months since you’ve seen him, and there is a 100% chance he does this with several women every fucking day.
If more people complain, maybe these crappy security companies will start employing people who can work without harassing the people they’re ostensibly supposed to be protecting.
After the third time guy at the liquor counter at the grocery store said to me, as I bought a bottle of wine, “Please drink responsibly” I said to him, “Sir, I’m 48 years old and I don’t need your reminder.” I was ready to talk to a manager at the store and complain. I didn’t, but he doesn’t work there any longer. Guess I wasn’t the only one who was offended.
Not an annoying situation - yet. There’s a CTA station attendant who works 4 out of the 5 nights I take the CTA home after midnight. Every night I descend the stairs and walk around the elevator to exit, and if he’s in the booth, he waves. It’s a jovial wave, and I wave back. This has been going on for a year! I’ve seen him wave at other people, so I know it’s not just me, it’s just people he recognizes. Somehow, we’ve never interacted otherwise, never spoken. It’s one of those things where you can tell it could get awkward very quickly if we had to actually exchange words regularly, but since neither of us has ever crossed that line, things remain jovial.
Last night, someone dropped his wallet on the train. I picked it up to give to the station attendant, not knowing if my “buddy” was going to be there or not, but resigned to a conversation for the sake of the sap who dropped his wallet. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when it was a different guy.
Otherwise, MOL’s situation has happened in similar ways to me, too. I just can’t put my finger on any right now. It was a long time ago, and was during my 8 year stint working as a downtown drone, too. The only security team that was never annoying as a whole was the team of bank guards who worked at the bank where I worked. The first few years I was there, the guards were also employees of the bank, rather than a hired security firm. Their pay scale, benefits, and feeling of family was ensconced with the rest of us, we were all in it together and had the same bosses. When the bank decided to outsource the guards, and moved the former guards to other positions, there was a hugely perceptible difference in how the (new) guards and the employees interacted. The outsourced guards had no vested interest in the bank employees. We were just another client, the guards weren’t always the same people, and our feeling of safety changed. It was a sad time, and after that I was grateful to change departments and not be in a guarded area any more.
Well, I was gonna talk about the time when for almost a year I avoided almost all contact with a friend except by computer because they said they didn’t like my voice…but it turns out that’s not what you meant.
At the McDonalds near my old work, there was a Down Syndrome guy who worked there. He was in charge of wiping off the tables, refilling sodas (this McDonalds had free refills, but the soda machine wasn’t accessible to the public, you had to ask for a refill.) He seemed nice enough, but I soon learned never to ask him for a refill on Diet Coke. Every time anyone asked for one, he would lecture them on how you shouldn’t drink diet sodas, that the fake sugar they use is bad for you. Every time. And like many mentally challenged folks, he would forget to modulate his volume - so this lecture would be at VERY LOUD levels.
I considered bringing it up to management, but I think someone else did at least once - for a while he went to just shaking his head and muttering loudly “you shouldn’t drink that, no, you shouldn’t drink that”. After a month or so, though, he went back to full lecture.
So the answer is: I didn’t get a whole lot of Diet Coke refills that I would normally have gotten, and often avoided that McDonalds’ altogether in favor of Burger King (inferior burger, but no social awkwardness.)
One of the conductors on my regular train has a habit of starting up loud conversations with riders whether they like it or not, and then keeping the conversation going non stop until the person finally gets off at their stop. There is no way to avoid the sound of his voice, even with the ipod turned up.
For a while I would just move to another car when he started up, but then one day a friend of mine got hit by the train and died (not an accident). A few days later mr blowhard was ranting about what a drag it is that when this happens they have to hose off all of the blood before the train can continue on it’s way.
I did call him over and tell him very quietly that he was taking about hosing off the blood of a good friend of mine, but he just gave me a bland sorry if you’ve been offended comment, he really didn’t get it.
For more than a year after that I took the bus instead of the train even though it made the trip twice as long.
I hate talking to retail people so much that I will not go into a shop if there are too few customers inside. I want to slip in and out like a ninja.
This isn’t my story, but a friend of mine once got on a train heading in the wrong direction to avoid a guy who was clumsily attempting to flirt with her.
Heh, my mum used to do this regularly when I was a kid and unexpected visitors called. We’d hit the deck, commando-crawl across the floor, and hide behind the kitchen counter till they’d gone.
As for me, I’ve been known to walk round the block and come back rather than have to enter my building at the same time as one of my neighbours, to avoid awkward chit-chat, and I frequently pretend not to speak any English rather than make conversation with sociable types on public transport.
When I was in high school, there was this guy at my church who had some kind of mental disorder. Not his fault, of course, but nevertheless, he creeped me the fuck out. I made the mistake of having a friendly conversation with him once, and after that he just would not leave me alone. He’d feel the need to put his arm around me every time he saw me (and my sister reported that once he had even stroked her HAIR, all while asking about me), and his manner was just…I dunno, it just made me really, really uncomfortable. For about a year or so, after the service was over, I would speedwalk out of the back door of the church as fast as I could go. Thankfully, I lived within walking distance, so I could just walk straight home.
You know…if I ever saw him again, I’m not entirely sure he’d recognize me. Which would be awesome. (Well, and whenever I go to church now I always go with my boyfriend, so I’d have him to hide behind.)
This one guy I’d been friends with for a while took a nasty turn into the ‘omg I’m so in love with you and this is destiny and you need to dump your boyfriend and be with me!’ forest; I still enjoyed and appreciated him as a friend, but there were days I just couldn’t deal with the puppy eyes. I’d been clear about it never turning into that kind of relationship, but he was too lovestruck to let go and I was too young and naive to realize that staying friends wasn’t the best option.
One night he came to my apartment and kept knocking and knocking, just wasn’t going to go away. I climbed out the back window <first floor>, went to a payphone <um, this was about 20 years ago>, called a taxi to come pick him up. He seemed to take the hint and left, finally.
I went back into my apartment and found he’d left a note. A suicide note; either I came to find him or he’d kill himself.
I didn’t go. I took him 100% seriously, but even at 18 I knew that there was no way I could really help him, so…death it was.
He didn’t kill himself, of course, but the choice I made is obviously pretty memorable.
I have an overly friendly security guard at work too. He knows my name (I guess it’s because when I scan my badge to get in, he sees it on his computer screen) and jovially calls out my name every time he sees me (whether at his post, or just randomly in the building). He acts like we’re long time best buds “Hey Jen! How’s the day, how’s the weekend, what’s up with you…” It’s weird to be aggravated by someone being so…nice, but it is a little weird.
He is very friendly with other folks too, gives out a lot of nicknames (my boss is “bossman” for example). I do the friendly wave/smile/“mornin’” with the other security folks (which is the extent of my interaction with all the rest of them), but I really feel socially awkward with this particular guy. If I knew he was at a certain post, I would go out of my way to avoid it, but he’s always in some random place (we have a lot of security posts in the building).