For the record, your timing here was exquisite.
interesting and amusing thread so far, not least because; AH-HA a chance to talk about myself!
Mid forties Dad, seven years into second marriage, two grown guestlings out of the house with loud rumors of a Grandguestling:) (maybe twins to boot:D) on the way from Guestling The Eldest (the cad had the gall to tell me Him-n-Her are planning to move to Texas!:mad: with my Grandguestling!:mad:)
Anyway, I also have a Fosterling (with first wife, boring story) and Guestling The Youngest with current Mrs. Guest. That’s the important stuff.
The other stuff. I’ve been a lot of things. Business Owner and Entrepreneur, Restaurant Manager, Department Supervisor at a disaster cleanup business, US Army Mechanic, Delivery and Installation for gym equipment, manufacturing, Stay At Home Dad, janitor, currently I work in the moving and storage industry, on the verge of getting a class a cdl, motorcycle enthusiast, passionate reading enthusiast. that’s the stuff people sometimes seem to want to know.
height, 5’10" and shrinking, weight, 160-165 (US)pounds depending on time of year. Hair, very short, thinning, kinky-wavy-curly depending on how I comb it when I let it grow long enough to comb and its brown. Eyes are brown, I have four tattoos and am comtemplating a fifth, and that is some of the rest of the ho-hum stuff that one tends to accumulate on “life’s resume” as you go along.
Wesley Clark, i actually would like to hear your story. Though the dr Evil quote was amusing. And Spice Weasel, great to hear you are doing so well !
I am about two and a half meters tall, and weigh about 200 kilos after lunch. No hair - I do have a crest of orange-colored feathers and razor-sharp talons on each of the three fingers on my forelimbs.
I was expelled from university for my illicit experimentation with robot DNA, and currently earn my living as a consultant on creating Skype applications for porpoises. In a long-term relationship with an inflatable raft, I have no children - only a few thousand clone bodies in deep hibernation.
My hobbies include professional wrestling, collecting celebrity smegma, and investigating the less reputable aspects of Rule 34 of the Internet.
Welcome to the SDMB!
Regards,
Shodan
I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Another win.
Male, 46, married and I have a one year old little girl.
Many of my friends had children years ago, I was always the guy in serious relationships but no kids. Celebrated my friends when they had children but never quite “got it”. I get it now. My daughter is the light of my life. She makes me laugh and smile every day and sometimes, like now, when I think about her I get a little teary-eyed.
I had a pretty bad childhood. I say that as a matter of fact, not for pity. Globally there are far more people who have it worse. Single kid, single mom. Living at or near the poverty line. Exposed to far too much domestic violence and sexual abuse up until I was about 13 years old. My mother did her best but her decisions really fucked me up for a long, long time. I’ve really worked hard to overcome much of what happened to me. I thought I had a good handle on all of it but lately it has been sneaking back up on me. I’m having a hard time in my marriage. Some legitimate grievances with Mrs. MeanJoe but the problem is how I deal with them. I’m realizing, as cliched as it sounds, that I self-destruct when I have things really good. I have a great job, an above average income, a beautiful home, an incredibly intelligent and beautiful wife… and I’m sabotaging it. I’m scared I won’t get a handle on this, or it may already be too late, and I’m going to lose it all. I don’t want my daughter to be from a broken home.
I’m about 70lbs over weight. I’m also a continual “quitter” of cigarettes. By that I mean, I still smoke but am constantly trying to quit and failing. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to successfully quit at this point. I’ve tried pretty much everything. I look at my age, my weight, my smoking, and my daughter and realize I must make changes or else I won’t be around for her. Yet I seem to have no control over the smoking which then bleeds into not working out/exercising and feeling badly about myself. See previous comment about sabotaging myself - this is another example.
I’m far more messed up than I would have ever thought a year ago.
On the positive side… I’m an avid snowboarder, been riding since 1987. It is one of the things in my life that bring me true joy. The last two winters in Ohio have been poor and with a new house, renovations, and a baby I’ve not gotten out riding much and I miss it.
I’m also trying to learn to skateboard again. My mid-life crisis. I spent my teen years on my skateboard. I was a little skate punk, rode everywhere and skating was my life. Now myself and a few friends are skating again. I’m horrible at it. I have no idea how I did this as a teenager and was so comfortable on a skateboard back then. This is the first athletic type thing I’ve ever done that I am completely failing at. It is humbling.
I live in a 4800 square foot old victorian home that we’ve been renovating since we bought it almost 2 years ago. 1st and 2nd floors are almost done. It has taken a little while but this old house is starting to feel like “our home”. But it is scary how much money we’ve spent!
I didn’t meet my father until I was 27. It was a transformative event in my life and we’ve built a good relationship over the last 20 years.
I jumped out of an airplane once. I was never more afraid in my entire life but I did it. I’ll never do it again. Ever.
I’ve traveled to the majority of the states in the U.S., primarily for business. I’ve also traveled a bit internationally including to; Turkey, Russia, Mexico, Canada, Panama, Colombia, Venezuela, and the Dominican Republic. I deeply believe international travel can, and should, change your worldview in very important ways.
I’m terrified of dying. Seriously, I cannot seem to get a handle on mortality. I’ve had a few people I know pass away including a half-sister. My default is to just push it away and avoid it. I hate to think about my life ending, about there being nothing more. It really unsettles me.
People have an impression of me that I’m a very outgoing guy. I actually struggle socially, probably a bit socially awkward, yet no one believes me when I tell them that. Everyone thinks I’m this gregarious, funny, social guy. I guess I’m good at “faking it until I make it”. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve made it yet.
I spend way, way too much time on Facebook and on the Straight Dope every day.
I guess that is it for now. I think I’m a pretty good guy with a kind heart but I’m struggling at the moment internally and in my marriage. I love my family, my friends, and care about the world around me. I don’t think I’m exceptional in any way but I’ve had some amazing experiences in my life.
I am Arrendajo, master of baritone ukulele and avid scooter rider! Also children’s librarian deluxe! 60, male, thin, white, cadaverous! I have lovely scootergirlfriend! How I adore her girly bits!
Why is everyone forgetting to post their social security and credit card numbers?
You! I’m chocking over here! I just spat my gum AND coffee all over my keyboard! 
If you don’t quit that chocking you might choke to death! Leave your epiglottis alone!
I can vouch for every word. Even the cadaverous part! 
You two are adorable.