ruadh - I’ve met Twisty in person. He’s absolutely adorable, very sweet, pants-peeing funny, and still young enough to mold to your liking! You live near him. You spend time with him. Operation painting was a bust. You’re both great people. You’re single. He’s single.
See where I am going with this? 
Darling, there is no man who is out of the league of a classy woman like you!
I’m sorry you feel like this,
but MR. Right for you is out there,
and he will show up when you least expect it.
It is absolute not to late for you.
My best wishes and good luck.
I have waited 37 years for him to show up,
and there he was suddenly,
and I didn’t expect it at all,
though like you I would spend my life all alone.
But now I’m getting marryed to him later this year
and it’s Montfort on this board,
as you might now.
And to what is good with men,
I have to say,
it’s being loved and give love back.
To hug him and kiss him
and feel that warm feeling.
And not feeling alone,
just complete with him.
When 2 becomes 1.
I gotta admit that some of us are rotten to the core… but we try to be so with a childish charm!
[slight hijack]
I must point out that this is extremely inefficient! Please note that underwear has TWO sides, thus necessitating a change only every other day.[/slight hijack]
You know, I’ve been thinking about this question for the last day and and a half, and to be quite honest, I really can’t think of anything substantial. I realize I should feel vaguely offended, or perhaps threatened, by my own uselessness, but for some reason I just don’t. I’m fat, dumb and happy and content to be that way.
Maybe that’s the good thing about men - we’re kinda like Golden Retrievers. We’re very happy, we’re very eager to please, and we’re very, very dumb. If you can deal with us on that basis, I think you’ll have no trouble with us.
And now, to summarize some of the better points other posters have made:
Some of my own:
Um… guess that’s about it.
If I may make one final observation: You seem to have high standards. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, as a matter of fact I approve of it very highly. But realize that you will be long on the hunt because of it. I have unrealistically high standards myself, and have had only two relationships I would consider real. And both were very brief. I’m 25, soon to be 26. I know that looks young compared to 31, but it seems dangerously old to me…
Also, and this is just an offhand aside, if you go into every relationship expecting this to be “it”, you’ll set off every alarm bell in a guy’s head and he will flee so fast it’ll make your head spin. You know how you can tell when a guy is only after sex? Well, the male equivalent is when a woman is only after commitment. It has the same effect. If you can deal with doing this, try and treat things as if you don’t care if it ends tomorrow or if it lasts forever. It’s possible you may have more luck that way.
Alright, that’s all I wanted to say. Thanks for listening.
-Ben
I’m curious as to what I said that implies my standards are unrealistically high.
Believe me, MR2, I learned that lesson a loooooooong time ago. No, if anything I’m probably more guilty of seeming too uninterested … theory being if I get dumped, at least I can keep some amount of pride intact by not appearing to care so much. But I don’t think I go overboard on that, either.
No, as I said about 40 posts back, that’s part of the problem…
Have you spoken to him about this lately?
I am and will happily meet up with your good self.
Anybody else up for a pint?
Unfortunately, Diane, I am no longer part of the YSM (young single male) brigade.
Check your mail and I’ll tell you all about it.
You need to ask if I’m up for a pint?
I thought you may be busy doing someon…something else
So, ruadh, are you gonna hang out with those drunk Paddies this weekend, or are you and me gonna paint the town of Amsterdam red?
Hmmm… I may be a man but I have been told that we do have our uses… I’ll see how many I can list off here.
Knowing what fluids go where in cars and how to check them before long trips. As well as checking the tires and making sure the AC works.
Damn good at checking under beds, in showers, and in closets for axe murders at 2 am after watching scarry movies.
Making breakfast…
Lifting heavy things, with little to no grumbling.
Holding a woman’s hair… while she prays to the porclin god.
Great sources of heat, holding hands on a cold day or just being a warm pillow.
There are plenty more… but I’m only using the clean ones. Good luck on finding a good guy out there, we just hide real well as dorks and geeks.
Nick
ruadh - OK, who are these jerks who have given you such a low opinion of men?? Me and da’ boyz can pay them a visit and have a little “chat” - if you catch my drift.
Ooops - testosterone a little too high there. And my advise is generally no good, so I’ll just give you a hug.
{{{ruadh}}}
See, we aren’t all bad.
Only if you’re buying the plane ticket Coldie
– a very skint ruadh
(of course, you could always join us over here …)
Huh… this looks like an expensive date! Hmmm.
Lemme think here…
So, do you prefer KLM or Lingus?
[sub]I had to refrain from wisecracks about you not liking 'lingus. I did well, didn’t I?[/sub]
In my experience most girls who think that they don’t know any nice guys actually do. They are in a category called “friends”. Look among the guys you know, the guys you have known for many years, the guys who are straight but never seem to get involved with a girl. There are a lot of guys who love their female friends, but are afraid to make a move out of shyness, or fear of violating the friendship by making a move.
Will all wishing to meet for a pint this wkend have a look at http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=71113
You do realize that you can turn them inside out too, right?
Hey, I have brothers.
Twisty - Still wearing that shit-eatin’ grin?
Yup, and as I’m going over to see her tonight, I probably will be wearing it tomorrow too