[Attempt at reverse psychology]
Cookies? Cookies? I don’t need no stinkin’ cookies!
Because I’m cute with big, brown puppy eyes! 
Because I’m in Japan and we don’t really have perfect cookies here. I would kill for a Mrs. Field’s white chocolate macadamia nut cookie!
Because I can fix your cat/dog.
Heh, [del] Sméagol [/del], heh, Attack from the 3rd dimension has already tried that, hasn’t he precious?
I should receive the perfect cookie because, dear Skald, I’d share it with you.
Because I’m me… Your most favouritest astro-chick in the entire universe…
My mom died about two months ago. That’s not why, though. I hate-hate-hate talking on the phone, with a passion. And yet I have called my dad almost every single day since she died, just for a 5-10 minute call, just to check on him. It’s wearing me out since I don’t even get along with my dad all that much, but I feel it’s incumbent on me, and I plan to do it constantly for at least one more month.
Please, I could so use a cookie. I’ve been good.
Because I don’t like cookies, so if there is a chance to make me like cookies (which would be bad for me, given my maternal family’s proclivity to grow sideways after a certain age) this is it. If those cookies can’t turn me into a cookie eater, no cookie can.
Because I take my Nation Board exams tomorrow? And It’d be a really nice thing to enjoy during these times of woe.
That said. Back to the books.
You know your cousin, the one who keeps going on with that “my daddy” bullshit? I can put a stop to that (nonviolently, of course) for a perfect cookie.
Alright, it’s been over 12 hours - where’s my damned cookie?
Because I have here two perfect glasses of milk, and I think we can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Because I live in South Carolina, and Alvin Greene is from my town. I need something to lift my spirits!
I didn’t bake the cookies. If I could bake 'em, there’d be more than 144.
Um…140, at this point. My blood sugar went down in the middle of the night. Too long on the treadmill yesterday, sorry.
Turn your teleport receive pad on, damn it!
Both of y’all know perfectly well you’re getting cookies.
Neither Mrs. Which nor Mrs. Who is broken.
Okay, but I expect you to do something to track down his puppet-master. I’d do it myself but I’m conflicted out of the project.
Yeah, I’m probably gonna need some help from you next month, because it’s my turn again to lead the talk at the amateur astronomer’s society and I want to look smart. Gimme some fresh facts about the heat death, damn it!
134, at this point. Anyway, you just insulted Galadriel. You better hope Legolas isn’t a lurker.
I sent you one of 'em first thing, Miss Portman. You may wish to check with your butler or housekeeper or whatever.
I would give the cookie to my daughter. Since she has diabetes, she doesn’t get this kind of thing very often: and if it were the truly perfect cookie, I’d want her to be the one to experience it. Plus, if it is truly perfect, it would have no carbs and no calories, which would mean she would be able to enjoy it without a blood test or insulin.
If I had two, I would give one to Lissla Lissar’s son for the exact same reason. 
Ask away… All I know is that heat death is gonna be really really cold! 
Now you make me wish this wasn’t a joke thread!
The perfect cookie would have to be magic, of course. It would have carbs only when needed–say like in the middle of last night, when my blood sugar was crashing.
My best friend makes me these excellent low-cal chocolate cookies that don’t make me spike. If you want I’ll get the recipe.
Never mind Juliana, I want the recipe! Low-cal chocolate cookies that don’t give blood sugar spikes or require crazy amounts of insulin to eat? I’m IN!
I probably will, as soon as I pick a topic. I have a couple of weeks.