I’ve mentioned here that I’ve had gastric bypass surgery. I consider myself a total success - my health is phenomenal.
However, I have the requisite redundant skin from the massive loss. I look fabulous…in clothes. Out of clothes - not so much. A part of me feels like an imposter, because with the proper underwear (God bless Spanx!), I look “normal”.
If you were in my situation - when would you divulge this to a potential intimate partner? While I am in no way ashamed of my weight loss (I do public speaking on the subject, and am featured on my surgeon’s website), I also don’t rent billboards or megaphone it in social situations (Hi! I’m Veuve! Great weather, yes? I lost 154 pounds!").
When would you tell? When would you want to be told? Am I obsessing over nothing?
I would suggest earlier rather than later. If you think things might get intimate, it would be better if it was not a surprise. That said, I doubt it would be a big deal.
Honestly, however messed up it sounds, I would want to know prior to being intimate, or at least some sort of warning. If I knew, it would not turn me off in any way. If you were this knockout with your clothes on, one would be expected with the clothes off. (Don’t forget that most men mentally have seen you naked prior to you actually being naked, and you are really built up in their mind).
Maybe some hints would suffice, brought up at an appropriate time. If he were to mention how sexy you are, you could say something like “Thank you, I feel great. I just wish I could get rid of _, or fix”. I know it is messed up that you might have to do this, but it is preparing him and you (or else you are going to always wonder what he is going to think when the ‘moment’ comes.
By the way, congratulations. It sounds like you are really happy with yourself.
I think it depends on exactly how much skin you’re talking about.
A little shwabble here and there? Not a big deal.
But if you have an apron-type thingy going on, I think I would mention it ahead of time, just because it might be sort of shocking to see that in real life if you weren’t expecting it. Obviously not on a first date, but if you guys are getting sort of close and push looks like it’s going to lead to shove, I think I might mention it.
Hmm, couldn’t there be a casual way to mention it in relation to what/how you eat? Eating together is a regular part of dating, and if you have any kind of restricted diet you could simply talk about it then. “I’ll have the small latte with skim, I don’t drink whole milk since my bypass surgery y’see.” That could start the topic in a non-scary non-intimate ‘imagine me naked’ way.
Absolutely. I want to make sure I’ve lost all I’m going to lose (I’m looking at 30 months out to be sure) and then there’s that lil thing about the $30K I’ll need… Hey - a girl can hope!
Hey - a girl can hope!