Tell us about your platonic love affairs.

In My Humble Opinion
1

By platonic love affair, of course I mean cross-gender relationships (or same-gender if you’re gay) which neither you nor your partner intended to be sexual, but which involved so much time spent together and emotional intimacy that people around you commonly mistook you for a couple. How did the relationship begin? Is it still ongoing, and if not, why? Did it ever develop into a sexual relationship, even for a single night? Was it a vibrant, healthy friendship or was it a horribly co-dependent one that interfered with other parts of your life?

Et cetera.

My best from from high school and I were sexless lovers all through college and beyond. In college we went to the movies at least once a week, and spent long hours in each other’s apartments and dorm rooms; she spent many holidays at my parents’ home (as much because of the dysfunctionality of her own family as anything else); neither of us thought anything of waking the other up at 4:00 a.m. for an emergency; we were each other’s emergency contacts and held medical power of attorney. But the relationship never became sexual, though even though it outlasted every romantic relationship either one of us ever had. My friend told me once that she had thought about it freshmen year, but being privy to me, ah, romantic contretemps convinced her that she was better off staying out of my bed.

Anybody else?

2

My best friend in college. We met early on in our first years and spent virtually every waking moment with each other. We rented a house together during our last year. I’ve always thought part of the reason we where such good friends is that way in the beginning (within the first two months of meeting) we came right out and told the other that we weren’t in the least attracted to them. I think the fact that we both had no ‘feelings’ for each other and KNOWING the other one didn’t either made things alot easier. I never cared who she dated and she never cared who I dated. Also, alot of SOs might have a problem with their SO living with someone else. That is to say. If she was dating someone he might have a problem with her living with another guy. But generally once the situation was explained, everything was fine. And yes, people very commonly thought we where dating since we where ALWAYS together. Very rarely did someone say Joey this or Reene that. It was always Joey and Reene are coming over. Joey and Reene are studying etc…
As for you’re questions
How did the relationship begin?
Met in college dorms
**Is it still ongoing, and if not, why? **
Kinda, she lives about four hours away but we still talk/email all the time and we still see each other a few times a year. She’s also my daughter’s godmother.
**Did it ever develop into a sexual relationship, even for a single night? **
ewww no.
Was it a vibrant, healthy friendship or was it a horribly co-dependent one that interfered with other parts of your life?
Probably the healthiest, best relationship I ever had.
Did I mention I asked her to be my best man? She was so happy, she even offered to where a tux, but the mother in law vetod it.

3

My right hand and myself have a beautiful relationship, have done for a while now :smiley:

Sometimes we invite our left hand over for a menage a trois :slight_smile:

4

Has that one ever devolped into a sexual relationship?

5

My best friend is a man. (I am female.) We get together at least once a week, for a Saturday night dinner or a Sunday morning breakfast out. He hangs out with my boys sometimes, especially my youngest as a male role model type. We talk on the phone 3 times every day, and he’s the one I call if my car breaks down and I know he’ll come help me.

I met him 10 years ago- I was living with my boyfriend at the time, and he was our neighbor. After the boyfriend and I broke up and I moved, we dated for a couple of years. During that time, he became involved with some unsavory things, I dumped him, and we lost touch for a couple of years. Then I found him again 4 years ago and we’ve been best friends ever since. I’m not attracted to him at all now, even though I was when we were dating and I probably would have married him back then if he had asked. Thank Og he didn’t ask.

Sometimes I get the feeling that he’s in love with me, but he never brings it up, I don’t bring it up, and it doesn’t impede our friendship in any way. We did have sex once 4 years ago when we first reunited, but it was horrible for me because I just don’t feel that way about him anymore.

He’s one of the few people in the world that totally gets me, and accepts me completely. I can be myself, and he has never asked me to change. That, to me, is worth a lot.

I’m sure that whenever we go out people assume we’re married- we act like an old married couple! I consider it a vibrant, healthy friendship, although I do wonder sometimes if I would have more of a chance of having a love relationship with someone if I didn’t spend so much time with him.

6

My best friend is a guy. We’ve been best buds since our junior year in high school (uhm…11 years?)

We had known eachother since 5th grade, from band. He was a spazzy kid and a wrestler (and in band, of course). I was a nerdy kid. We were friends by default - just because you’re friends by default with everyone in band.

In high school I was buddies with this girl who was 2 years older. We were in band together (pattern…). She was 10x nerdier than me and way uptight. One day on a bus trip she told me she liked someone on the bus. I guessed every guy’s name except that spazzy wrestler dude. I finally guessed his name and she nodded and I freaked out.

Since I “knew” him more than her, I was set to the task of telling him that she had a crush. I marched up to him in the student lounge…he had some chick sitting on his lap…and told him that he had to ask my friend to homecomming.

They went to homecomming, had a lovely time. They’ve been hitched ever since our freshman year.

At the beginning, I was not too happy with this arrangement. Lunchtime used to be me and her. Now me, her and spazz. When we got to our sophomore year, she was visiting college and I loathed having to be left to eat lunch alone with him on those days.

But being around her was changing him. He quit wrestling and grew up a little. He realized he was smart. REALLY good at math. Started applying himself more and settling down. He worked his way up to my level of nerdiess. heh.

By the time she went off to college, he and I were best friends. We sat next to eachother in band, became the BIGGEST band geeks in the band (yay us!) and hung out all the time at school. After school, she’d hang with us too.

We were together like glue in high school then we all 3 went to college together and still were like glue. People did indeed think we were dating. We were known as “hisname and jj” - rarely separate :slight_smile: In college, he had architecture lab in my dorm and I’d let him crash on my extra bed all the time. We had regular monthly “dates” at this Italian restaurant we both loved.

The summer after our softmore year, the two got married. I was their maid of honor. Had a wonderful time.

We still always do stuff together…not so much right now as we both (me and the couple) have new homes. But we have a “best friend contract” which means I help them move and they help me move, and we do unpleasant things together, and we have special yearly events that we do together, and I always declare him (or usually them now) as my best friend.

He is my only male friend I have never had a crush on. One time I had a dream that I kissed him and it FREAKED me the hell out. Made me depressed for weeks. I can say I love him. I love him like a brother but with the extra added bonus of not sharing genes. We can make mom jokes and pat eachother’s butts without weirdness :slight_smile:

7

I’ve detailed my platonic relationship here in other threads, so I won’t give you all the details, but we met online, through a personals ad, and began dating regularly. We went to movies and dinner and concerts and The Antiques Roadshow and friend’s houses and everything, every week for three years. We talked on the phone every two days. We didn’t spend much time in each other’s houses, for various reasons, but we enjoyed each other’s company. He never touched me in a romantic fashion, and I occasionally gave him a peck on the cheek, but that was it. The night he broke up with me, because he had met someone els, online, and wanted to see if that relationship had any potential, he kissed me for the first time, to say goodbye. Four months later, he married her, saying he’d still like to be friends. Since she is insanely jealous and doesn’t believe he and I were never intimate, that possibility of friendship is over. He was my best friend, and I was in love with him and hoped for more, but he just wasn’t attracted to me that way. I miss him, and his son, and his granddaughter, but life goes on.

8

Not as yet, my left hand is kinda bashful y’know.

Anyway I have hopes 'cuz my right hand gave pie to my left earlier today and it was then passed to me, tenderly :smiley:

Hope springs eternal :slight_smile:

9

I’m a straight guy. My best friend is a lesbian. It seems to work a treat. No nonsense at all.

10

I’m not sure this qualifies, because we made out a few times, but in my sophmore year of college, I sort of had a thing with a part time student. It started out just going to lectures and movies and dinners and coffee, and wound up in her apartment french kissing. It never went beyond that, and we wound up losing touch, but it was nice as long as it lasted.

The problem was that she was really nice and well-meaning, but she was bipolar, which caused problems. Sometimes she would just break into tears and tell me about traumas out of the blue. Sometimes we would watch movies like Sid and Nancy or Night, Mother, after which I would feel borderline bipolar. Looking back on it, I don’t think she should have been watching those kinds of movies.

She wanted to have sex, and I sort of did too–She was pretty attractive–but in the end, I realized that the last thing B. needed was sex. She needed a qualified therapist, and she needed to work some demons out on her own. I turned it down, and the frenching stopped, though we remained friends. To this day, I don’t regret that decision for an instant.

For all of that, B. was a very good friend. She never came on too strong, and she was very mature in her lucid moments. I could trust her with any secret or problem I had. Eventually, she straightened out and got married, and I was happy for her. A few months ago, I decided to Google her out of the blue, and lo and behold, she’s running her own business, which seems to be doing well. Still married. She has her picture up on her site, and I’d swear that she hasn’t aged a day in 15 years.

I lost touch with her, as I lost touch with all my college friends after I joined the army, but if she showed up on my doorstep, I’d definitely welcome her in and help her out, no questions asked.