Back in high school, I met this girl, and we wound up in the opposite of the realationship I usually end up in… she adored me, but I just wasn’t attracted to her, but liked her as a friend. She wound up in abunch of crappy relationships, and eventually wound up with this guy that beat her within an inch of her life. Luckily she left him, and right now she doesn’t want a relationship. I, on the other hand, do want a relationship, but she still really isn’t the kind of girl I’d want to date.
We were ditting around talking along with another friend of mine, and the subject of sexual mores came up. It was proposed that we’d have a much more relaxed society if we could approach anyone for sex and they could just say yes or no and it would be no big thing. (Much akin to Jello Biafra’s speech on “I Blow Minds For A Living”) It then led to how we should be able to ask friends for sex and have it not be a big deal. Well… she took me up on it, and I went along with it. It was done with me openly saying I had no interest in a LTR, or even a romantic relationship. She understood, and was still willing, so we had fun, and have been every once in a while since.
Now, when I tell people this, I usually get a negative response. Either that I’m cheapening sex by having it with someone I don’t love (I do love her, but as a friend), or that I’m giving her false hope and will be crushing her when I leave. There’s also the fact that she won’t be looking for anything better while I’m around.
To me it’s no big thing. I prefer sex with someone I am truely in love with, but I don’t hold it terribly sacred. I’m not breaking any of my own mores unless it hurts her, which it doesn’t seem to be. Our friendship has been unaffected, so all in all, it makes her happy; it’s a good thing.
So what’s your collecive opinion? Am I a heartless slut bastard that’s going straight to hell, simply misguided, or doing something nice for a friend in need? Can friends have sex and not screw up their relationship, or is this going to kill off one of my longest running friendships?
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.