When I’ve had “sex for the sake of sex” they have overwhelmingly been some of the most positive sexual experiences in my life. Let me draw you a picture if I may.
We all get urges. Some of us more so than others. I have been in periods in my life where I’ve not been interested in persuing or entering into a relationship. Knowing what you want, and effectively communicating that desire to a potential partner so that she understands, can be very liberating in the sexual arena.
I am more willing to try new things with a woman when these criteria are met. I also expect my partner to try new things with me, things which she would feel uncomfortable asking someone she was begining a relationship with.
For example, there was a girl who I’d just begun dating and was very interested in persuing a relationship with. It took me forever for me to ask her to give me head 'cause I kept figuring: 1) What if that totally disgusts her and she doesn’t want to see me any more; 2) What if I embarrass her; 3)What if she says something like, “Maybe later,” and it becomes a leverage tool in our relationship.
Don’t mis-understand me. I don’t think everyone would have these feelings – hell, maybe most people wouldn’t feel this way. I’m just presenting my thought process on this matter.
When I did get around to asking this girl, she gave me head, but every vibe she sent off, her body language and how she performed, exuded reluctance. It was very unsatisfying.
In a “sex for sex sake” relationship, I feel more comfortble doing or trying something different 'cause if she doesn’t want to do something my thoughts are, “Fine. Let’s try something else.” Also there are no repercussions – no hurt feelings – if a request is denied. You get to try new “stuff” without the dread of it effecting a long-term relationship.
I learned proper oral sex techniques this way. Digitally manipulating a woman to orgasm (which 99% of my partners say is the best part of my repertoire because of my ease in doing it and the intense orgasms it gives them) was discovered and perfected (in some of my past partners humbl opinion) in sessions such as these.
Again, let me reiterate. I’m not saying this is right or wrong. Only that it works, and works well, for me. The single most important thing to understand is that both parties must understand and recognize what the session is and is not.
Damn. That’s my longest, and most personal, post in a long, long time.