Sex for the sake of sex?

Ok, I’m still fairy new here, so point me in the right direction if necessary.

I fully intend to sleep with a friend. He is the nicest guy I know, and my best friend in the world. We are both single and horny. I lust after this guy to no end, but I do not want a romantic relationship with the guy. To put it bluntly, I wanna fuck. That simple.

We have thoroughly discussed the fact that neither of us wants to date the other one. Birth control, while an issue, will be well taken care of. So I decided to do it. Now I spend most of my days totally horny. sigh The trials of the single woman.

I’M GONNA FUCK MY FRIEND. :stuck_out_tongue:

-Lsura(and I can’t wait either)

Ummmmm… good for you. I’m not entirely sure I get the point, though.

Enjoy your friend. :slight_smile:

Dammit…I thought you were offering.

Does this remind anyone else of a particular Seinfeld episode?

Why can’t we have this and that?

The rules:

  1. Sleeping over is optional
  2. No calling the day after

Shit, I know there were more but I can’t remember.

My point is that sex changes things. As a woman, you are more likely to wind up being hurt. I’m not saying this to be sexist. Women tend to become more emotionally involved as a result of sex than men do. Not all women, but most.

Anyway, it will assuredly change your relationship. Maybe for better, more likely for worse.

Just my 2¢

And worth every penny…

My apologies… I mentioned that I didn’t see the point. Well, duh! This is, after all, Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share.

Please carry on. My mistake.

You know, it really isn’t fair to lead with a title like that, then say how you’re about to go sleep with some guy. It gets out hopes up… :slight_smile:

Consider this an engraved invitation for any, and all, like-minded females to attend the Aug, 26 Dopefest at the Waterside in downtown Norfolk.

Reciprocation is the sincerest form of flattery!

I have one of those…we call each other a “fuck buddy”.

Nice thing to have really. If you aren’t dating, you have a friend (assuming they aren’t dating too) to mess around with when the need arises.


Are you guys close friends? Do you ever hang out together for reasons other than sex?

I’m not saying that purely sexual relationships can’t (or even shouldn’t) exist. Hell, I wish I had a fuck buddy. I’m just saying that they can’t usually exist in the context of a real friendship. Especially a “best friend in the world” friendship.

Seriously, folks.

When I’ve had “sex for the sake of sex” they have overwhelmingly been some of the most positive sexual experiences in my life. Let me draw you a picture if I may.

We all get urges. Some of us more so than others. I have been in periods in my life where I’ve not been interested in persuing or entering into a relationship. Knowing what you want, and effectively communicating that desire to a potential partner so that she understands, can be very liberating in the sexual arena.

I am more willing to try new things with a woman when these criteria are met. I also expect my partner to try new things with me, things which she would feel uncomfortable asking someone she was begining a relationship with.

For example, there was a girl who I’d just begun dating and was very interested in persuing a relationship with. It took me forever for me to ask her to give me head 'cause I kept figuring: 1) What if that totally disgusts her and she doesn’t want to see me any more; 2) What if I embarrass her; 3)What if she says something like, “Maybe later,” and it becomes a leverage tool in our relationship.

Don’t mis-understand me. I don’t think everyone would have these feelings – hell, maybe most people wouldn’t feel this way. I’m just presenting my thought process on this matter.

When I did get around to asking this girl, she gave me head, but every vibe she sent off, her body language and how she performed, exuded reluctance. It was very unsatisfying.

In a “sex for sex sake” relationship, I feel more comfortble doing or trying something different 'cause if she doesn’t want to do something my thoughts are, “Fine. Let’s try something else.” Also there are no repercussions – no hurt feelings – if a request is denied. You get to try new “stuff” without the dread of it effecting a long-term relationship.

I learned proper oral sex techniques this way. Digitally manipulating a woman to orgasm (which 99% of my partners say is the best part of my repertoire because of my ease in doing it and the intense orgasms it gives them) was discovered and perfected (in some of my past partners humbl opinion) in sessions such as these.

Again, let me reiterate. I’m not saying this is right or wrong. Only that it works, and works well, for me. The single most important thing to understand is that both parties must understand and recognize what the session is and is not.

Damn. That’s my longest, and most personal, post in a long, long time.

The above is different from “casual sex,” at least in my mind’s eye. I consider casual sex most uncomfortable – mentally. You don’t know where the relationship (if any) will be going. You could start dating. You could never see each other again (one night stands).

Another caveat:
I’v never had “sex for sex sake” or “casual sex” with others while I’ve been in a relationship.

As everybody must know by now, my first sexual experience was with the guy who’s been my best friend for two and a half years now. Anyway, like the button says, “If you can’t fuck your friends, whom can you fuck?”

Having no SO and no hopes from one in the near future, I could use some sex for the sake of sex since I am not going to get it any other way. Nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately I have no friends to have sex with so I will have to pay for it if I go that route.

Big F’ing deal!

NOTE: Sleeping with someone is NOT sex. Sexing with someone is sex.

Can’t wait to hear back on the emotional repercussions of this little tryst.

I’ll keep you updated then. But we are both adults(I’m 27, he’s 26) and I’m that I am able to handle this and continue as simply friends. :slight_smile:

Then you’re far stronger than I. I’m not mentally built for one night stands, or casual sex. I’m actually not sexually motivated. Funnily enough a female friend that I was quite close to offered me a similar opportunity. She was horny, I was a friend and a safe bet. I turned her down because I knew that it would only be sex and nothing more. I couldn’t allow myself to want more from her knowing that she didn’t.

But as you said quite rightly, you’re both adults and as the saying goes - ’ a little of what you fancy does you good.’

I’ve met a lot of women who can seperate sex from emotion. All of them told me about some sexual trauma in their childhoods’ and I always thought it came from that. During the trauma, the person learns to seperate emotionally from the event. Well, Im sure a lot of woman know about that, guys, too.

Good luck to you, Lsura, I think that you are going to end up getting hurt.

I myself see sex as the highest form of romantic involvement that there is.

I can not have sex with someone if there is no Love in it, there has to be an emotional attachment with someone that I am going to have sex with.

I’ve never had a ‘one night stand’, I have never been to a prostitute (even though when I was stationed overseas, my buddies tried there best to get me ‘laid’), even been to some bars to no avail (might be my mindset, or the ladies can see it in me).

In order for me even to get started into a conversation with a member of the opposite sex that I am interested in ‘bedding’ down, our ‘karma’, ‘aura’, or what ever you want to call it, has to be in sync with each other, and right there starts an emotional relationship with the other person.

I don’t think I could ever have sex with my best friend, and still expect to stay friends, unless there is going to be an emotional bond with that person.

That’s my 2 cents worth, for now.

Well thanks a gosh darn lot pipefitter. I was just thinking as long as the subject of sex for the sake of sex had come up, why not see if there were any nearby doper women (say within 3000 miles) who were up for some sex for the sake of sex and you had to make me feel a misty eyed. Bet you pray for rain on parades too don’t you fella? :wink:

When I was still single (I’m married now), I had two quite close male friends whom I could call up whenever, and arrange a “date” with. It would be made perfectly clear up front that it was a date for sex. This would only happen if neither of us was in a relationship. We were friends - actually, all three of us were friends - and hung out together on a regular basis outside of our “dates.”

When we were getting together for sex, it was always a one-on-one evening - we’d get together without any other friends, hang out at a bar or go to a movie or whatever for a couple hours, then we’d go back to my place. He’d stay the night, go home the next morning, and the next time we’d talk would be whenever there was something going on. No change in the friendship, no jealousy or guilt or strings. I never did have any problems with it at all. Neither did either one of them, as far as I know.

The way I looked at it, we were friends. We got together to have fun. How much more fun can you possibly have than that?