Did you ever accidentally tuck the back of your dress into your pantyhose / tights? Attend an important meeting with your fly undone? Please share, so I won’t feel like the only doofus here for:
Sitting in the waiting room at the women’s imaging center with my breast hanging out of my robe. Not a huge deal - it’s only ladies there- but I smiled and chatted with people and blithely read my book for no less than 15 minutes. A kind lady finally, quietly pointed it out.
Went to who knows how many places one Saturday with the zipper on the back of my skirt broken open, showing my (thong) underwear to all and sundry. As I was walking out of Big Lots, a young woman was shouting after me. I thought she worked there and was going to tell me I had forgotten something. I wished that’s what she was doing.
Walking to my car one morning to go to work, a young man whose first language was not English was smiling and gesturing at me, something something “…your dress”. I was in a hurry and not in the mood to be hassled by some rando on the street. So busy, in fact, that I had failed to close the zipper on my dress that ran up the side from my waist to my underarm. Good job I realized it before I got out of my car at the office.
I actually have more examples but for now I’ll let someone else share their public humiliation.
In highschool, the fly on my jeans was down and somehow my shirt got caught in it, so I had to speed walk back to the bathroom and figure that out, lol.
This was last month at work, where my fly was down while I was getting a lift and didn’t realize until I got to the door of the theatre.
Also, some other times at home. I only got called out by it once.
I’ve also worn some stuff inside out but it didn’t really bother me and wasn’t noticable.
Not too long ago I realized that most of my clean jeans had developed tears too big even for casual wear at work, so I started a load of laundry and headed into work in a very old pair from before I managed to loose some weight. And they were stretch. And my belt was still on the pair with torn knees.
I barely caught them as I got out of the car at work but was still showing at least 2-3 inches of flannel boxers for a moment. Although I don’t think anyone saw me. And I spent the whole day holding my pants up with one hand when up and about.
I did make it a point to get some more jeans and throw away some of the many pairs that were totally gone at the knee.
When I lived in my old town, I worked with a father and daughter, and attended the daughter’s wedding, which was at the acreage where she was raised. Dad had rented a few Porta-Potties, and I was wearing a rather gauzy skirt to this outdoor summer event - and came out of the PP with the bottom of said skirt wrapped around the waistband. Oops!
In school I was scrawney and flat chested.
Early highschool. Boobage practically non-existant. (Never wore bras)
I like wearing my brothers denim shirts. With the snap closures.
One morning I assume I had had a rapid growth or something, I stretched my arms up to relieve tension from a hard exam. Every button, save the bottom-most, unsnapped.
There I was in all my glory.
Everyones head was down. The only person who saw was my english teacher. She looked alarmed. Til she saw me snapping them back up at super speed. And she grinned.
I’m told that as a very young child I had the habit of blithely putting my shoes on the wrong feet and going about my day until Mom noticed. I sorta remember instances of having to swap shoes between feet w giant Mom hovering there.
Over the years I’ve left home w fly open. I suppose every man has. I’ve split the 4-way seam at the taint of pants. Fun when that happens to your uniform work pants and you won’t be home for 3 more days.
I’ve done the 2-different-shoes thing. And at a cousin’s wedding, I came back from the bathroom with my skirt caught in the waistband of my pantyhose. There have also been a couple of cases of the fly (do you still call it that on women’s jeans) being down, but since I mostly wear long shirts untucked, I don’t know if that counts.
I remember the olden days of my youth when having the hem of your slip hanging below your skirt or if your bra strap slid down your arm when you wore a sleeveless top, OMG, how embarrassing!!! Interesting how times and attitudes change.
When I was a teenager back in the 80’s, I had a pair of blue Jordache jeans. The knees were turning white from wear, so I soaked my jeans in a bleach solution in the tub, thinking to even out the color a bit. Well, I forgot about them for a while and when I came back they were white as snow. That had not been my intention, but I was pleased anyhow. The next time I wore them, I was out on a date. Beautiful white jeans and a white shirt with the Coca-Cola logo on it, I was stylin’! Until I sat down and those jeans split in two places, vertically on either side of the front zipper. Fortunately my shirt was long enough to cover, but I had to ask the boy to take me home.
I joined a security consulting firm back in the 90s. It was almost exclusively male, primarily because most of the consultants and investigators were retired LEOs that had entered law enforcement in the 60s and 70s.
On my first day, as part of the orientation tour, I was told by several people that it was an ironclad rule that we tell each other if we observed any wardrobe issues. Shirt button undone? Point it out. Collar turned under the tie? Immediately ask if you can fix it. Piece of tape stuck to a shoe? Say something.
I can’t tell you how many times I got to work and was immediately told that I hadn’t fastened one side of my button-down collar. Nobody EVER “politely” ignored a malfunction.
Once I was with my wife and son at the amusement park when I sat down wrong by the hot dog stand and tore open the entire front of my khaki pants. Fortunately, I was wearing a sweatshirt, so I immediately tied it in front of me, apron-style, and went on with my day. I may have looked a bit stupid, but the alternative would have been significantly worse.
I once spent an entire day at the office with a QUARTER ZIP sweater on inside out. No idea how many people noticed. I realized it when I got home.
I have had to sneak out of work and go home and change a (dress) shirt once, and on another occasion I had to go across the street and buy a new (polo) shirt to replace ones that I had managed do damage with food spills. I thought this must have happened to everyone, but my two brothers say that this has never happened to them.
Thanks, Mighty_Mouse. You reminded me of a good one.
I was at my GF’s house many years ago and we were in the midst an intimate encounter. Her neighbor knocked on the door and my GF (for some reason) decided she needed to get up and talk to the neighbor. When my GF came back, she said, “I think that Sally knew what we were up to. She was giving me a sly wink.” I then pointed out that she had jumped up and answered the door so quickly that her dress was on inside out.
I once went to work and forgot to put on a suitable shirt. It was winter and after taking a shower I would put on any old T-shirt and hang around the house for a while, then change into something more appropriate for the office just before leaving. One morning I was distracted on my way out, some dog related incident to the best of my recollection, then apparently just threw on my winter coat and went out the door wearing what was this time a very ratty old undershirt. With the coat zipped up and a scarf around my neck I had no idea until I got to work and unzipped my coat. Luckily there was a hotel with a gift shop down the street so I went there and bought a long sleeve pull-over which was good enough for the office.
Also, though it would be rare for anyone to notice, I don’t care if my socks match. I wear mostly white tube socks which are all the same as far as I’m concerned. If I can’t find a pair of matching colored socks I’ll grab any two and wear them.
Finally, one time in high school I got up to give a report in English class and discovered I was standing in front of the class totally naked! Oh wait… I think that was a dream. NM.
According to my mom, when I was about four or five we were getting ready to head to church one Easter Sunday and I had to use the bathroom before we left. She said I came out with my shirt tail out but my little suit jacket tucked in. “I never did figure out how you managed that one”, she said.
I don’t know that this is exactly a wardrobe malfunction, but one day at one of my first jobs after college I was wearing this sort of hybrid pullover sweatshirt/rugby shirt thing with pockets in the side. I’m standing there talking to one of my female coworkers, got my hands in the pockets, and I can feel something underneath the shirt. Thinking it was a dryer sheet that got stuck in there, I stick my hand up under there and pull out… a pair of my wife’s underwear!
I once wore what I thought were pajamas that could “pass” as casual work clothes. Didn’t even get past the reception desk before I was outed.
One morning I looked at my bed head in the mirror and with completely delusional thinking thought it somehow looked “innovatively cute”. That was a disaster.
If I think on this I can probably come up with a lot more.
