Tell us something odd about your relationship with your significant other

[Linty_Fresh]

@Jelymag

We also have a resident stuffed animal, which my husband bought me for Valentine’s day one year when we were dating. The funny thing is I will sometimes sneak it into bed and when my husband finds it there he will act like it is another man… “What the hell is this!? WHat do you think you are doing with MY WIFE!?” and then throw it with enormous fierceness at the wall… yep, I know. Weird.

On this note, my wife and I joke about fooling around all the time.

Me: It’s time to get dressed, dear. I’ve got to go to work.
Mrs. Fresh: Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say!
Me: . . .

Or

Me: (Calling from upstairs to my wife watching TV downstairs.) Hey honey, whose turn is it to wear the leather clownsuit?
Mrs. Fresh: What are you talking about?
Me: Do I wear the leatherclown suit run around honking the bicycle horn while you chase me with the bowling pin, or is it my turn to smack you around?
Mrs. Fresh: What the hell are you talking about?
Me: Wait . . . this isn’t Saturday? Shit, never mind.
Mrs. Fresh: (after a moment) I’m going to try something new with the bowling pin.
Me: Honey, c’mon, that’s the caffeine talking
Mrs. Fresh: They’re gonna have to call in that proctologist from fucking Geneva!

And so on. I think it’s because neither of us can imagine the other actually doing something like that, but it’s always good for a few laughs. Then again, we’re pretty strange people.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

We have virtually no interests in common. I hate every TV show she likes and she hates everything I like (although she’ll watch half an episode of Top Gear and The Daily Show). She hates the foods I love, and vice versa. Pretty much our only shared interest is beer- and she drinks Bud Light and I drink imports.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@Jelymag

We also have a resident stuffed animal, which my husband bought me for Valentine’s day one year when we were dating. The funny thing is I will sometimes sneak it into bed and when my husband finds it there he will act like it is another man… “What the hell is this!? WHat do you think you are doing with MY WIFE!?” and then throw it with enormous fierceness at the wall… yep, I know. Weird.

This made me laugh out loud hard enough to clear my sinuses. Well done!

[Spice_Weasel]

@HazelNutCoffee

We also communicate a lot in Eddie Izzard quotes - even when they don’t quite fit the context, which does tend to baffle a lot of people around us. Example:

Him: I cleaned the apartment while you were away.
Me: No, surely not! No! No one was alive back then!

This, only with Futurama.

[Penchan]

Wow my relationship is a whole conglomeration of everything!

We don’t refer to each other by our real names unless we’re in public. He’s black kitty and I’m white kitty (we’re lazy and fickle like cats).

We sleep tangled every night. We used to sleep on my twin bed when we first started going out, so I started sleeping with my leg and arm on top of him. When we got a bigger bed, we had gotten so used to sleeping like that, that sleeping any other way seemed abnormal. We have a pretty big bed yet so much space is still free because we’re so wrapped around each other. It’s comforting.

We have our own language. If you listened to our conversations, I think you’d only understand about half of what we’re talking about.

We also have our own little world. The kitty world. It’s a big hill overlooking a city. We often sit there and watch the clouds go by. We have familiars even, in the kitty world. I have a white dove named Lovey Dove (she gets mad if you call her Lovey Dovey), his is a brown dignified sparrow named Sir. We don’t know his real name because he just wants to be identified as Sir. They just sit on our heads as we watch the clouds go by on the hill.

We use tons of references from the tv shows and movies we watch as well as pop culture things we pick up.

“Black kitty doesn’t share food!” (Friends)
“They hated me…” (Meet the Robinsons)
“Cheer up, emo kid” (LOLcat reference)

Sometimes we have whole conversations that consist of various phrases!

We have an odd obsession with each other’s butts. Like we like to show off our butt to each other and say it all weirdly:

“Do you like the BUTT?”
“BUTT!”
“BUTT BUTT BUTT!”

butt-flexing dance

We like to squeeze and fondle each other’s butts. But we have to be careful because the topic of motorboating came up and we realized how bad it would be for both of us if one motorboated the other’s butt. Horrible I tells ya! The end of civilization!

Strangely enough, we don’t partake in anal sex. Not our thing. Exit only!

Eight plus years in the making and it’s only going to get weirder…

[Spice_Weasel]

@Jelymag

We also have a resident stuffed animal, which my husband bought me for Valentine’s day one year when we were dating. The funny thing is I will sometimes sneak it into bed and when my husband finds it there he will act like it is another man… “What the hell is this!? WHat do you think you are doing with MY WIFE!?” and then throw it with enormous fierceness at the wall… yep, I know. Weird.

My husband pretends he’s jealous of the cat. Especially when it’s lying on my stomach and doing the ‘‘kitty paws’’ thing and accidentally starts prodding some of my… more sensitive areas. He glowers at him and shakes his fist. He does not throw him against the wall, though.

This thread is fantastic.

[WhyNot]

@olivesmarch4th

I’ll go ahead and be the parade-rainer and say I’ve seen it fall apart more than once. The most extreme example is my best friend, who was raised by polyamorous parents, both of whom had a relationship with the same woman when she was about 9. The Lady S moved in, the three of them shared a bed, and before you know it my friend’s parents were divorcing. Her Dad has been married to Lady S for years. Kind of an awkward situation for my friend… though it made coming out much easier for her.

Oh, of course. Just like monogamous relationships, some work and some don’t. Some work for a while and then don’t work anymore. I’d be shocked if it were otherwise.

[Spice_Weasel]

@WhyNot

Oh, of course. Just like monogamous relationships, some work and some don’t. Some work for a while and then don’t work anymore. I’d be shocked if it were otherwise.

I in no way mean to imply your relationship isn’t awesome, because I truly believe you have made it work, but there are special considerations in polyamory that I’m willing to venture make it more difficult to pull off. I couldn’t do it. I don’t think most people could.

[WhyNot]

@olivesmarch4th

… there are special considerations in polyamory that I’m willing to venture make it more difficult to pull off.

My dad, who has a degree in mathematics and an open marriage, once told me that the ideal number of people in a relationship is 0.6. After that, things get complicated. My dad’s a pretty smart dude.

[E.Thorp]

@HazelNutCoffee

We also communicate a lot in Eddie Izzard quotes - even when they don’t quite fit the context, which does tend to baffle a lot of people around us. Example:

Him: I cleaned the apartment while you were away.
Me: No, surely not! No! No one was alive back then!

This, only with A Bit of Fry and Laurie.

[Spice_Weasel]

@WhyNot

My dad, who has a degree in mathematics and an open marriage, once told me that the ideal number of people in a relationship is 0.6. After that, things get complicated. My dad’s a pretty smart dude.

This isn’t directly related to the topic at hand, but your story brings to mind my best friend getting up the courage to reveal to her Dad that she was a lesbian. Though he’s obviously a very open-minded guy, he had very high expectations for his daughter and a very no-nonsense attitude.

His response to her nervous declaration of gayness was, ‘‘Oh. Well don’t let it interfere with your schoolwork.’’

[panache45]

@Jelymag

We also have a resident stuffed animal, which my husband bought me for Valentine’s day one year when we were dating. The funny thing is I will sometimes sneak it into bed and when my husband finds it there he will act like it is another man… “What the hell is this!? WHat do you think you are doing with MY WIFE!?” and then throw it with enormous fierceness at the wall… yep, I know. Weird.

I can understand this . . . if the stuffed animal is anatomically correct.

[Emergency911]

My wife and I are both currently 911 dispatchers, both volunteer firefighters and both ex-cops.
We have a scanner on 24/7, (although when she moved in with me I had to take it out of the cold air return, <piped it through the entire house>) Along with 2 pagers and other alerting devices throughout the house.
When tones go off, the windows rattle, when an interesting call comes over the scanner, conversation stops suddenly, and will then take up in again exactly where we left off…which throws company for a loop!
When we leave town, we have a house sitter come over for the dogs, and I take great delight running around the house, turning up all the pagers to full volume, from the normal settings.

Not as funny as the different silverware couple and the “quiet, I wasn’t talking to you”, but I have been told we are odd.

(And yes, we use the same house/dog sitter and yes, she still likes me!)

[mariposalabrown]

Big yes to the nickname crap. I am Beebs, Beebatron, B, Beebatron 2000, Tronia, lately Tronianizer because of the Britney Spear’s song “Womanizer”, Sweet Pea (he got me an iPod one year and etched on the back it says “A Pod for my Sweet Pea”), Cuddlecub, Snugglebear, Snugs, I can go on an on. All poos are called “Bears” courtesy of South Park, so the toilet is the Bear Chair, or the Bear Lair, and when you have upset stomach you make angry bears or messy bears. It’s kind of weird that he uses Bear terms as affectionate nicknames as well as to talk about his shit. That’s gotta mean something subconsciously. Hmm, my boobs are small, so those are “tittens”, I could seriously wrote a book about all of the new names for things. Then I have had about 4 million songs written about me, farts, or poo. Sometimes they are sweet, sometimes they are evil and cruel, depending on how he is freestyling and what just happens to rhyme. Somehow though, I am the crazy one…

[Jelymag]

@panache45

I can understand this . . . if the stuffed animal is anatomically correct.

Lol, sorry to have to disappoint, but not that kind of stuffed animal.

We have all kinds of crazy little songs and sayings and words that we use that no one else would ever understand. Sometimes we forget to act like normal people in public and we get some very weird stares.

All of this is making me think of when we got married; the celebrant we hired to do the ceremony worked with us to write a unique ceremony/vows and, since we were getting married on a beach, we made the ocean a subtle theme. One of the things she added was “Like the waves falling on the shore, your life will develop a rhythm of its own, unique to the two of you.” Every time we do and say something totally crazy and I wonder if there is anyone else as weird as we are, I remember that line echoing in my head and I just smile.

Little did I know all of you all & your SOs were whack-jobs too.

[Rachael_Rage]

My SO of almost 3 years and I established a strict “no murder” policy some time back. No matter how bad things might get, we have solemnly vowed to talk it out, or break up, or find some other resolution, but murder is definitely off the table.

You might assume this is a given in your relationship, but how do you know for sure?

[Spice_Weasel]

@Jelymag

Sometimes we forget to act like normal people in public and we get some very weird stares.

Ah, yes. One of our non-language communication skills involves a high-pitched imaginary creature sound that sounds something like, ‘‘Mweeeep!’’ (Think of Beaker from the muppets for an idea.) It originated from the amoeba sound, which is ‘‘Mwaaaap!’’ of a lower pitch. It usually signals distress or a need for attention from the other. I started it, but now we both do it.

Anyways, sometimes I use ‘‘Mweeep!’’ to locate or signal to my husband. I once ventured to do this, unwittingly, in a crowded Best Buy. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and sidled up close to him… only to realize it wasn’t him! :eek:

All of this is making me think of when we got married; the celebrant we hired to do the ceremony worked with us to write a unique ceremony/vows and, since we were getting married on a beach, we made the ocean a subtle theme. One of the things she added was “Like the waves falling on the shore, your life will develop a rhythm of its own, unique to the two of you.” Every time we do and say something totally crazy and I wonder if there is anyone else as weird as we are, I remember that line echoing in my head and I just smile.

Little did I know all of you all & your SOs were whack-jobs too.

What a beautiful sentiment for no doubt, a beautiful wedding. A close friend of ours described our relationship as ‘‘The River and the Mountain’’ – me being the emotional, changeable, always turbulent, wandering river, my husband being the steadfast, consistent, dependable, stubborn-as-hell mountain. I wrote a poem on that theme for the wedding and my friend read it aloud.

I love how normal the Straight Dope makes me feel sometimes.
**
Rachael Rage**, we know for sure because we too have a No Murder pact. It doesn’t preclude the possibility of me fashioning a coat out of his skin, though… especially in the winter, when he’s warm and soft. Mmmm, husband-skin coat.

We do regularly threaten grievous bodily harm on one another, usually in the form of quotes from our favorite shows. Thus ‘‘I’m gonna punch you in the face… with a knife!’’ is usually responded to with, ‘‘Generally when you punch someone with a knife it’s called STABBING!’’

[Stillwell_Angel]

We don’t speak to each other between the time we get up and the time we leave for work. We’re not upset, angry or anything like that, its just that neither of us is much for conversation during that half asleep-trying to wake up period.
We spend time together drinking our coffee and going out to the garage for a smoke or two but nary a word is spoken. When we’re both about to leave we do the kiss and “I love you” thing then off to work.

We converse just fine once we get home in the evening.

[CAT_1]

@oliversarmy

I’ve been married almost 28 years and I don’t remember ever having a fight with my spouse.

Yes, we’ve gotten mad at each other and disagreed on things plenty of times. But, we’ve never had a screaming, door slamming, sleep-on-the-couch fight.

From what I hear from friends, this is unusual. But, maybe not. It is anecdotal.

This was the first thing I thought of that was odd about us too. But we have only been married 11+ years, however. We have been together about 14 years though, and not a fight yet. And yes we disagree too, but nothing that even lasts more than a few minutes.
The last guy I dated before I met my hubby and I had weekend long fights, just about every weekend! This is so much nicer.

[enipla]

@CAT_1

This was the first thing I thought of that was odd about us too. But we have only been married 11+ years, however. We have been together about 14 years though, and not a fight yet. And yes we disagree too, but nothing that even lasts more than a few minutes.
The last guy I dated before I met my hubby and I had weekend long fights, just about every weekend! This is so much nicer.

Us too. 11 years married.

I don’t understand people that fight.

My Wife’s an athlete.

I’m the pit crew. She keeps herself on track for training. I take care of the anxiety in the few days before the race. I absorb hers and mine so that she can concentrate.

Triathlons can be a bit crazy.

It’s an odd symbiosis, wherein I can approach a level of calm and pull some of my wife’s anxiety away from her so she can focus on the race.