Terminator: Genisys sounds awful.

There is not one detail revealed here that doesn’t make the new movie sound or look like garbage.

This is how they should reboot Terminator:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBBw9E2Q_aY

Christ on a cracker!!! That sounds awful. That shitstorm might kill Daenerys career dead.

I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

I don’t know if I’m just not seeing something obvious but I think there’s enough fandom (and fandom opinions) out here that a producer, director, writer might want to engage in a goodly amount of sampling before subjecting a billion-dollar franchise to the vagaries of one, two or five people’s imaginations. Just me, probably. For all I know they have and what was described in the story is the result.

Nahh.

Body armor is cool.

And what’s dead should stay dead.

“… must get old, fat Arnie in there… somehow…”

We’ve known this for years; If it ain’t Cameron, it ain’t The Terminator.

That title alone makes me want to barf.

Unless Emilia Clarke is nekkid and carrying dragons, I have no need to see this.

and I can live without the dragons

Yeah, this sounds like shit. If they wanted to make a new Terminator movie, they had two options: a “prequel” set in the war of the original timeline, or a “pre-sequel” set in the war of the arm-and-chip timeline. Anything else - ruining the bittersweet ending of T2 (Terminator 3) or changing the timeline before the start of T1 (Genisys) - is a fucking terrible idea.

Both of those covers look terrible and cheesy. Particularly the one with the young Sarah Connor driving a motorcycle with a scowling Kyle Reese riding bitch on the back. Why is he doing an Arnold impression? Clearly they are going to say that the T-800’s are based on Kyle Reese now. How can she control that bike? How can she drive it without looking where she’s going! Stop looking at the camera doofus!

Why is the Terminator on the second cover flashing a white mouthful of china like he’s being tickled? And why do we already know just by looking at that cover that the skinny dude with the paintball gun is either a Terminator or sides with the Terminators?

I don’t get it. The terminator universe has a lot of easy stories to be mined that would make pretty good movies. Even a direct reboot, while lazy and cheesy, would end up being pretty watchable. So why go with some off the wall shit that everyone is going to mock?

There are literally millions of good storytellers in the world. How is it that no one picks them to write movie scripts? We accept paying actors 20m+ per film, paying 100m+ for special effects, but we can’t spend a few hundred thousand dollars to get someone good to actually write the film?

It would take a heroic effort to get me to not want to see a new terminator movie, but it sounds like they’re going down that path.

Listen and understand. Hollywood is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until everything you love is dead.

So… the star of Terminator:TSCC went on to play Cersei in Game of Thrones. Now a star of Game of Thrones is playing Sarah Connor in Terminator. Ow. my brain hurts.

(and god, yes, that plot sounds terrible… Can we just bring back TSCC instead, please?)

Yes, please. Of course my favorite part of TSCC was that it wiped out the T3 timeline. I hate that it ended on a cliffhanger; there was a lot of promise there.

This IS a joke, right? it sounds like some bad 70s TV spinoff of a movie. With Pam Dawber as Sarah, Jimmie Walker as Kyle, John Beck as the T-800, and introducing a new character, a pint-sized terminator programmed to defend a young John, the T10 1/2, played by Robbie Rist.

There’s no way this is what they are planning to actually do!

“I’ll be back… with cocoa.”

No thanks!

My OCD requires me to point out that the word is actually spelled “Genesis”

Nah, that’s just your sense of good taste.

No it’s spelled “genius”, meaning how good they thought the show is going to be. They weren’t even close.