Terrorist Chatter

To: <all Terrorists>

From: <the one eyed feathermonger>

Re: Tonight’s Chat

I’ve decided that tonight’s chat topic will be regarding Hollywood, and why we haven’t done anything to erradicate it. SINCE I AM THE OWNER OF THE CHAT ROOM, It is up to me to pick the topic, Robby. Don’t give me any guff.

OPs will be given upon earning those OPs. “The Silver Knife of OPEC” has earned today’s terrorist of the moment award, let’s all give him a big hand.

See you tonight, don’t let this email get out to the press.

Hi, Abdul!
Hi, Nassir!
What’s the story, morning glory?
What’s tale, nightingale?
Tell me quick about terrorists plots!

Hi, Abu!
Hi, Muhammed!
What’s the story, morning glory?
What’s the word, humming bird?
Have you heard about suicide bombs?

Did he really blow up?
Did he kill any Jews?
Did he fly all to bits?
Did he ruin his shoes?

Well, he martyred himself
(Yeah! Yeah!)
I was hopin’ he would!
Now he’s livin’ at last,
He’s in heaven for good!

Hello, Mrs. al-Zawahiri,
This is Harvey Islamiyah,
Can I speak to Fatima Ann?

(Did you hear about Osama?)
(I just knew it somehow)
About the jihad…
(I must call him right up.)
(I can’t talk to you now!)

Hahahahahaha! Thanks, masonite, I didn’t have the energy for that part!

Whenever I hear news stories about “terrorist chatter,” I’ll have this running through my head, with mental images of them in their p.j.s and hair curlers, on their Princess phones. Wonder if they know how “terrorized” I am?

Oh my lord, **Eve, ** I think I’m going to have to kill you. We did “Bye Bye Birdie” in summer drama camp when I was 12, and now I will never get that damn song out of my head!

“Heybomberheybomberheybomberheybomber SWING bomber!”


“We want a sniper, not a booty wiper!”


r u single?

BeastOfFire YES!!! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: A/S/L weapon of choice???

The idea of “terrorist chatter” suggests to me that terrorist get-togethers are more fun than we realized…

Abdul and Qadir drop by Rafik’s place for tea and gossip

Rafik: Oh, Hi Abdul! Oh, don’t you look darling in that little gingham number! Why, I just wish I knew how to make my hair curl up at the ends like that! Do you use gel?

Abdul: No, the blood of the infidel. It holds great, but it doesn’t do that dull, weighty thing I get with gels and sprays. Oh, don’t even tell me you made that cake yourself! My goodness, it looks too good to eat!

Rafik: Oh, you had better eat it! Remember last time, nobody ate a thing, and I ended up eating so many leftovers, I must’ve gained 20 pounds!

Qadir: Oh, hardly. You can eat anything you want, and you still look perfect!.. Say, Abdul, I read that book you lent me, and you are so right! Anne Tyler just knows people. I mean, wow, it was like she was writing about me and my family!

Abdul: Oh, I know. I swear, I just fall right into her books. It’s so easy to get into the characters’ lives, you almost forget they are lying, faithless devils!

Rafik: Well, I prefer Danielle Steele, myself! But then, I like my books like I like my bombs - hot and dirty!

(all laugh)

Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more

Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep cheep cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more
Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little,

Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep
Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep

Pick a little, talk a little, Cheep!

You have to imagine two gruff, “Arab Terrorist” kinda voices here. The ones they do on Family Guy will work.

Mohammed: Hello? Muhammed?
Muhammed: Mohammed! Is that you?
Mo: Oh, yes, it’s me, and let me tell you, what an awful day plotting to blow up infidels.
Mu: Bad day at work again, huh?
Mo: Oh, yes, and of course I got all the guff. Osama never lets up. It’s “Mohammed this” and “Mohammed that”. “Mohammed, are my bombs ready?” “Mohammed, go and water the garden with the blood of the great devil…” Oh, hang on…(muffled) You kids stop playing with that! That belongs to Uncle Khomeini…I said…NO!! Do not pull your sister’s hair! Yes, I know she’s not supposed to show it, but…(sigh, unmuffled)…These Allah-damned kids.
Mu: Tell me about it. I may get 1,000 virgins in paradise, but I could use some help here.
(They both laugh, Betty Rubble style)