8oz. Jagermeister
8oz. Rumplemintz
8oz. Bacardi 151
8oz. Goldschlager
60oz. Miller Genuine Draft
3oz. Jose Cuervo Tequilla
12oz. Military Special Gin
1 Can Five-Alive Concentrate
1/2 Tub Cool Whip
1 Havana Cuban cigar
1 X-Large Pizza w/ Onions, Mushrooms and Black Olives
3/4 Lime
1 Tbsp Salt
I just wanted everyone to know that my Friday night rocked the house. 
So, Happy Monday Morning people. How was your weekend?
Can we say “Cirrossis”? But who am I to talk . . .
Tripler
I’d say you have an alcohol abuse problem, but it looks like you didn’t spill any. . .
A mere 3 oz. of tequila?
Wuss.
I want details on the 1/2 tub of Cool-Whip. That just doesn’t seem to belong on that list.
Awww… I’m suprised that doesn’t look familiar to you Trip. Those would be the ingredients for “Liquid Cocaine”. Then again, maybe you haven’t been to New Orleans. 
Who you callin’ a wuss Arden? That’s not bad for a lightweight like myself, and the tequilla was done towards the end of the night… after I had drank myself retarded.
The Cool Whip was just part of a drink. Sorry to dissapoint, but nothing really dirty there… well, except for the fact that my friend Tracy put some in her cleavage and told me to go get it. Being the gentleman that I am, I quickly fetched her husband. I know… I’m no fun.
Actually, no I haven’t. I’m not much of a mixed drink guy anyway. I’m a Miller Lite, Samuel Adams, and Corona conneiseur. If I drink liquor, it’s usually straight or right from the bottle.
**
I gotta use that sometime. That’s classic!
Tripler
I was required to go easy this weekend. I’ve got “The Beeper ‘O’ Fun”.
No offense, but are we supposed to believe that all of that alcohol was consumed by you, alone? Because from my calculations, with a “regular” shot being 1 fluid oz and a “large” shot being 1.25 fluid oz, you drank approximately 47 regular shots (or 37.6 large shots) of hard alcohol and 5 beers. If this list is accurate, you should be quite dead.
Forgive me for being dubious.
See? There ya go. A sure sign of a wuss.
Can’t handle tequila until you’re already wasted.
Jadis… you’re right… I’m sorry. Those top four should just be 4oz. The rest are correct. I was looking at it as, “I had 8 liquid cocaines”, and did my math wrong. Sorry. 
Quit making fun of me Arden! Else I shall have to challenge you to a tequila drinking contest.
Trip, by all means use it. It works for everything.
BTW- 100 cool points to anyone who can tell me what comic strip “Tests show recent ingestion of:” references.
sigh That would be Bloom County. CEO of the comics group, W.A. Thornhump III has all the characters tested for drugs, in a show of social conscience. The list you gave is similar to what Bill the Cat consumed; the verdict was “Drug addict, but too valuable to fire.” Berke Breathed, the writer/artist, had consumed (IIRC) “One marijuana brownie, eaten 12 years ago. Verdict: Drug addict – recommend termination.”
BTW, that was from memory. How about a tough one now?
Glad to see you survived the Liquid Cocaine… and you’re chipper this morning? Sheesh!
Be careful now, you hear?
Cap’n, you rule! I love Bloom County. :sigh:
Well, my husband and I went to the fair this weekend. Ah yes, the smell of cow manure and elephant ears, mingled in a nauseous bundle.
Ate some fair food of course: I had a meatball sub (okay) and hubby had pizza (yum!). I also had one of those frozen, chocolate dipped bananas [sub]place all phallic reference jokes in this box, please[/sub] and it was yummy!
They also had one of those climbing towers where you can put on a harness and see how far you can get. They have easy to hard but you only win a prize with the hard size [sub]I’m making the jokes tooo easy for you guys[/sub], so I figured I’d try the hard one [sub]oh, god, not again[/sub]. I got within 3 feet of the top and my fingers gave out. The carnie guy said I should’ve relied more on my legs to push me up and my fingers to just hold on. Next time, I will conquor it!
Saw 2 incredibly beautiful Percheron (sp) horses being bathed. They were a lovely silver-gray, about 18 hands high (approx. 6.5 feet…at the shoulder!). I stood there, just transfixed, for about 15 minutes until my husband said, “Umm, honey, can we go now.”
We were going to ride the double-ferris wheel but it was closed for maintenance so we rode the bumper boats instead.
Had so much fun, I had to go home and take a nap on the couch with my cat!
So, Simetra, any headache from that Friday night?
You’d be under the table, wuss-boy!
<throws up a sharp salute> Yes ma’am. Trust me… I won’t be doing that again any time soon.
Cap’n… Yes… yes it was an easy one, but not everyone is a die-hard Breathed fan like I am or apparently like you or BunnyGirl are so… How about, after Bill’s brain is replaced by Trump’s, what was one of Mr. Trump’s schemes that he talked about, while in the Trump Princess II, to make his money back?
Bunny, it was a very bad headache. One of the reasons I won’t be doing that again soon. I walked outside and God had the sun turned all the way up just to show me how dumb I am. Glad you had a good time at the fair.
Sweet Lord, you’re eating cigars?