Thank You, Doper Community

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Please allow me to ramble for a while, if I may.

I went to New York, for Dave’s RibFest. That Sunday night, just a few minutes after Euty and I got back to our hotel room after a delightful dinner with manny, Billdo, pucette, oxymoron & Chad (oxy’s SO), I got a call on my cellphone. It was Child Protective Services. Someone (I know who, but as you’ll soon learn, it doesn’t matter, because they did far more good than harm) had called them, saying that my home was not fit for children to stay in. CPS came out, and they agreed. My house was far too badly kept for children to live in.

CPS couldn’t reach my husband–he was at work, and had his cellphone turned off. So I did my best to handle things from midtown Manhattan (if you don’t already know, I live in Flint, MI). Euty did everything he could to help–he let me use his phone card (I ran out of minutes on my cell, and then the battery died), he held me while I completely lost my mind, and he used his last $10 to buy minutes for my phone, and coasted into Rhode Island instead of buying gas for his car.

And he’s also helped organize a few things. I had no internet access at the time, so my cell and work phones were my only means of communication. Euty got me help. He posted in his LiveJournal about what had happened, and Dopers by the score offered me physical assistance, as well as good mojo.

CrankyAsAnOldMan and Kyla have been up here twice now, helping me to clean my house. Kyla babysat my kids (while we were staying in a hotel room–the kids can’t be in the house right now, but CPS agrees that it was just the house that was neglegted, not the children. They’re staying with my brother right now, until CPS comes back and says things are okay, but they have NOT been removed from our custody), while Karen (Cranky) and I cleaned stuff. Then they came back a few days later, and we cleaned more stuff. Karen & Kyla both bought a few things for me & the kids as well.

My husband has also been kicking ass & taking names in the cleaning department. Yes, we have some serious issues with each other, but we have been able to set those aside and work as a team to fix this situation. My hat his way, way off to him for all the work he’s done around here. Some of the issues we’ve had have contributed to this crisis, but honestly, we have always been on the same page when it comes to our children. Our goal right now is to get our kids back into our home. And that will happen.

Why am I sharing such an intensely personal, completely devastating thing with you, you might be asking?

Because this is why people refer to the SDMB as a community. Some may say it’s “just a message board.” But it isn’t. It is SO much more than that.

Yes, the fests are fun, and it’s great to be able to put faces to the names. But dammit, this place pulls together to help it’s members like no other place I’ve ever seen. People like Euty, Cranky, Kyla, DAVEW0071, Zappo, manny, and a zillion others here on the SDMB and LJ have literally carried me through this, the single worst crisis of my entire life. The level of love and support I have received just makes me cry. I am so grateful, and so humbled.

I am not worthy of you. But I swear, I will make myself worthy.

My kids are home now.

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all.

Much love,
Cristi

2

Gahh! I’m sorry to hear this all happened Perse. And sorry that I wasn’t aware to help. But it’s great that the kids are home and a couple of Dopers were able to step up to the bat.

Three cheers for Euty, Kyla, Cranky and all others who’ve helped our dear friend Cristi!

3

Sorry to hear of your trouble, but Go SDMB members that pulled you through! Hapy to hear the kids are home. *hugs

4

I’m sorry, I’m having trouble grasping this. You were out partying in NY, and the government’s child protective agencies took your children away because your house was so filthy and unkept and whatever else that it was not fit for children to be in?

I mean, children live in rat-infested ghetto buildings with broken glass and uncleaned-up vomit, and the child protection agencies don’t get involved. How bad was this? And you didn’t notice??

I’m not sorry to hear of your troubles, I’m sorry to hear of your CHILDREN’s troubles.

5

It doesn’t matter, Dex. The point isn’t what caused the problem, it’s that people from this message board cared enough to help Cristi do something about it.

This isn’t a Great Debate about how people neglect their houses, how cleaning brings people together, or the rights and powers of CPS.

This isn’t a Pit thread for people to slam CPS or Cristi.

This is a MPSIMS thread that is designed (I would think, not being the OP) to shower praise on those who seem to deserve it very much.

So kudos goes out to Euty, Cranky, Kyla, DAVEW0071, Zappo, manny and all of the others who helped Cristi out, as well as to all of those who have helped others on here before.

Cristi, I leave the dog and drive up to help you anytime.

6

My mind is reeling from the possibilities for a parody here. I would have been banned for the one I just wrote and deleted.

7

That’s what’s so sick about this. Would you also leave your kids mired in crap at home to go party with these people?

I’m no saint and I’m definitely no earth mother or Martha Stewart. But Persephone should thank these people only if they insist she get some serious help, beyond just cleaning up the mess enough to get her kids back. Sorry to be so cold, but the OP did not leave me with the intended warm and fuzzy feeling about the great “community” this is, that’s more important to her than her family is. I hope what she meant to say was that this was all a wake up call.

I should thank you all indirectly for making me question my own over-use of the computer.

8

<< The point isn’t what caused the problem, it’s that people from this message board cared enough to help Cristi do something about it. >>

Oh, please.

However, I’ve started a Pit thread. I wouldn’t want a Moderator to call me out of order, in the midst of a hug fest, for daring to suggest that the welfare of children might be more important than partying.

9

Why are you being so judgmental?

I’ll probably never understand why people insist on being asses to other people, all because they “know better.”

If you felt you were going to be cold by posting, then why did you post it? So you could pretend you were superior?

And Dex, you ought to be ashamed of yourself if you began a Pit thread over this. I’m sure none of us here knows the full story, but go ahead - it always makes sense to scream and complain when we don’t know it all.

10

Well, Dex, aren’t you a snarky little git? Someone says “thanks for the help” and all you can do is sniff and make snide comments about how they shouldn’t have needed help in the first place. I think that’s the most assholeish post I’ve seen in a long, long time.

11

I think we all need to take a deep breath. Situations of this seriousness and complexity aren’t particularly well summed up in one OP and a handful of hasty replies.

Voluntary time out on this, eh fellow Dopers?

12

Persephone despite misguided Admins in the Doper community, I am proud to see my fellow Dopers helping out one in need.

It is true, this is a community and of the friends I have made here, I value them because of the things they do for each other.

< hugs to you hun >

13

Sorry for the shitstorm, Seph.

You still got friends. Don’t forget that. Whatever happens, you got friends.

14

Yikes, sorry Dex!

I alerted CKDex to this thread to begin with because I thought it was appalling, if not funny in a “The Onion” kind of way.
Apparently he was just as appalled. I won’t speak for Dex here, but I don’t think I’m making unfair assumptions or jumping to conclusions. No need to put words in anyone’s mouth - I based my horror on what the OP wrote, at face value. I’m sorry if she left out the part that made her look good. I’m not above giving priority to having a good time over handling household responsibilities, but this sure sounded like something bigger than that.

I would have expected at least one of the “Doper community” people to say something like, “I can see how you would think that - and good for you for thinking of the kids first - but here’s the rest of the story” or something.

And Persephone, I do hope this is the start of better times for you and your kids.

15

You alerted him to this thread? Why?

Let’s see. Open hatred is okay in the other forum. Nice stuff apparently not good here.

Guess I don’t see what could have possibly been so appalling to alert an administrator about it. Discussed in a forum like adults, sure.

16

I’m going to go seriously off topic here and could give a rip if no one likes it.

Kyla, thank you for demonstrating that you have, in no way, lost sight of the true meaning of “repairing the world.” I’d be grateful if you’d post the correct Hebrew term here so I can write it down. I could give a damn what you think of me. I’m just glad to hear that you haven’t forgotten about such a beautiful concept.

17

I’ve replied to the Pit thread. I see no need to reply here.

I had hoped that this thread would be a sticky, kinda like Scotticher’s Pit thread about how we all need to treat each other more nicely. Guess that’s not going to happen.

Any mod or admin that has a free moment to lock this thread, please do. The folks that I wanted to thank have already been thanked, by me, in email, in person, and over the phone. I just thought it might be nice to hold them up here as well, as examples of what a fine community this is.

I’m sorry if I’ve caused anyone any embarassment or upset.

Much love,
Cristi

18

I’m sorry I used the word “alerted.” CK is a buddy of mine, even OUTSIDE of this “community.” There are other communities, you know. I read Persephone’s OP, didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or throw up, saw CKDext online and said, “get a load of this.” I wasn’t tattling to the Message Board Administration.

19

I apologize, Jill. That’s how I read it, and I misread it. My mistake.

20

Know what I think? I think everyone should go to bed and get some sleep and perhaps we’ll pick this up in the tomorrow.

For the record, opening up a new thread on the subject in the meantime would be an extremely poor idea.