From the Doofus Division of the Just In Case You Forgot The Years of Craniofacial Reconstruction Department:
Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting a (and I mean this) dear colleague’s new wife. Lovely woman.
Today the dear colleague dropped by my desk and announced: “So [Lovely New Wife] thinks you’re just gorgeous. You can’t even tell you had all that plastic surgery! Well, other than the scars.”
I adore the guy. I really do. He’d sooner chew glass than knowingly hurt my feelings.
What an amazing statement. I can’t believe anyone can utter this and not realize it will be hurtful.
When I turned 35 I was consulting and one of the engineers at the place I was consulting said: “No offense, but you look much older.” LOL. How do you start a sentence with “No offense” and expect others not to be offended?
But back to your problem. Your friend is obviously a man of quality, or you wouldn’t adore him - so forgive him this one moment of offishness. He may have been reaching for gentle teasing and missed it by a mile.
I don’t understand how someone would gently tease about scars. That’s just wrong. Was this elective or reconstructive surgery? Either way, it’s very insensitive.
My teenaged kids had a bunch of friends over once, and one of the guys said to one of the girls, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t do anything for me.” I was walking through the room, stopped dead in my tracks and asked him, “Just for the record, what’s the right way to take that?” He didn’t have an answer, so I made him apologize for being a doofus. He doesn’t come around much any more…
Yes, I don’t even mind having been so viciously insulted that I spent a week with my head buried under the pillows, because at least I finally got a good wisecrack out of it!
His scars will be barely visible!