As someone who’s done it, there’s also the issue that the Dorises of the world don’t tend to respond quietly to being told to shut up, move or worst of all leave, by an usher or anyone else.
The process of evicting them is usually a lot louder than they were to begin with, as they feel the need to loudly tell everyone how much they paid for their ticket (I guess they assume everyone else got in free) how far they’ve come, what the special event is that they’re celebrating by just having a nice evening out and they were having fun which you’ve just ruined and they hope you’re going to pay for a taxi back home to whatever bridge they lived under. Ushers- or even trained security- have a hell of a time removing someone, especially from the middle of the row, that doesn’t want to leave. And, of course, they’re trying to do it in the middle of a show that everyone else around is trying to hear. Sadly no giant Doris-vacuum system exists to just pop 'em out the seat and building.
If it’s a packed out show, there may not be any other spaces anyone else can be moved to, and, especially if it’s packed out, you can’t let the people she’s annoying sit in the aisles either, as that’s blocking the emergency exits and a violation of the fire safety agreement… It could lose the venue it’s license. Theatres just aren’t set up to deal well with troublemakers, nightclubs and football grounds are way easier.
Then there’s the ever-popular back-of-the-seat-kicker behind you. On the occasions that I asked someone to cease, their facial expressions ALWAYS show that they believe me to be some unreasonable crank.
The OP’s situation is the classic, in which you are just trying to go about your business, and someone acts in a manner that puts you in a no-win situation. No matter how you respond, there is going to be SOME unpleasantness, and some residual thoughts/emotions/second-guessing that detracts from your enjoyment of the activity. When I am out in public, at least a portion of my awareness is aimed at making sure my actions don’t unnecessarily detract from anyone else’s mood/enjoyment. I’m not alone in that, but we are definitely in the minority.
I don’t know if we are definitely in the minority. Doris remains the exception, not the rule of common behavior in most public venues. That’s why her behavior is of such consternation. We don’t normally see people behaving this way. Just often enough to wish we could kill them and get away with it.
You would not be disturbing others: Doris would. Everything that happens as a result of her bad behavior is her fault, (law enforcement analogy incoming!) just like everything that happens during the commission of a crime is the fault of the perp, not the fault of the people reacting to the perps.
AND every time you let someone get away with this kind of behavior, it normalizes it to them (and shows them how successful it is in getting what they want). If it goes unchecked, we end up with more and more people like Donald… I mean, like Doris.
Don’t let your evening be ruined. Don’t let society be ruined. Speak up. Stand up for yourself and your rights.
Yeah, but it won’t be your fault, Loach. Sometimes you have to disturb things to make things better. Martin Luther King did it. Ghandi did it. Crystal Lee Sutton did it. Rosa Parks did it. Heck, I did it the other day at work. You can too.
If I have to choose between keeping things orderly and making things better, I’m going with “making things better” nearly every time. YMMV.
Complaining to the usher does not make you Martin Luther King. That’s absurd. It’s not even a matter of degree. It’s no where near the same thing.
And the actual choice in this case is between making things better and making things worse. Your efforts could very easily make things worse for the majority of people. You are not changing society. You are not winning a moral victory. You are either making things better by shutting up Doris or you will make things worse by causing a bigger disturbance. At the moment you have to decide what is more likely to happen.
I would be disinclined to disturb other audience members at a live performance. I wouldn’t attempt to retrieve an usher if I had to shuffle past other patrons in my aisle. I would do so, however, if I was at the end of the aisle, or better still, if Doris and her enabling friend were at the end of the aisle (inadvertently stepping on their toes would be a bonus).
So what to do if you are mid-aisle and don’t want to put up with Doris’s bothersome yapping, but also don’t want to disturb others? You need to annoy Doris, and continue doing so until she gets the hint and shuts up.
This can be done [legally] by simply leaning into her space a bit and whispering into her ear every time she runs her mouth. Just keep repeating, *“please stop talking, I can’t hear the performance.” *
The important thing is to over-pronounce the “P” in both* “please”* and “performance” and spray her ear with spittle as you do so. If she calls you on the spitting, simply apologize and tell her it’s a medical condition—but continue to whisper-spit if she continues to talk. I’m betting she’ll shut up rather than endure a soggy ear.
My approach would have been to quietly get up, walk to an Usher, and request alternate seating.
Upon being asked why, I would explain how Doris is making the performance unwatchable for you.
This way either you get a new seat, or Doris gets sorted out.
(or the usher ignores you, and you have a new source of income from the lawsuit)
I really don’t want to contribute to the deterioration of this thread, but I have to add that this is in very poor taste. It trivializes and is disrespectful of the sacrifices and achievements of those mentioned.
We were in the middle of a row. Summoning an usher during a performance would have caused a ruckus affecting many more folks than Doris alone was affecting.
It was a packed house. There were no other seats available. Also, I would have been seated separately from my friends had I moved.
Had I raised the commotion of seeking an usher, nobody in the vicinity whose enjoyment of the performance was disturbed would have blamed Doris.
In short, my inaction was for the greater good (not a Gandhi reference :))
mmm
Given that you had to slide past her at the end of the performance because she wouldn’t stand up, you had an opportunity to fart in her face as you went by. To do this, you have to have one ready to go and be reasonably sure it’s going to be silent. This also works on public transportation if you’re standing and the target is sitting, but (and this is very important) only do this as you are exiting as you want to be gone before she figures out what just happened.
Question for the OP: Did the theater do a “please turn off your phones and refrain from talking” speech or presentation before the show started? I’ve been to many that do this and even remind people that violators will be removed.
I’ve been to plays where infants and children under age 8 are excluded.
I haven’t done it in years. The last time I remember doing it was on a metro bus. A woman wouldn’t give up her priority seat for a person with a disability. I was strap hanging next to the culprit, so just as I got to my stop, I let one rip. Given that she was sitting and I was standing her face was pretty much in my ass.
Exactly like they do with prairie dogs. Then ship 'em off to Japan to be sold as pets.