Thanks for making my home feel unsafe!

To the chod-smoking dickwads/HAZMAT-grade, viral bitches who thought it would be a swell idea to hang out on our back porch at 2:30am-

Thanks for the twenty minutes of wondering what the hell was up with our cats, as they frantically paced the back door and meowed.

Thanks for quietly removing the back porch light bulb so that I couldn’t find out.

Thanks for all the scary bumping noises that you made while moving our trash can, thus enabling you to better peer through the window.

Thank you very much for your sinister chatter as you left the property. It was perfect- Loud enough to hear, but too quiet to make out.

Thanks for stealing several hours of sleep from my already exhausted brain.

Thank you ever so much for causing d_redguy a few hours of distress and distraction as he attempted to do his job while he worried about my safety.

Thanks for infringing upon my right to stride about my own home naked, should I choose to do so.

Thanks for the terrifying mental pictures conjured up by the thought that you may have been out there before.

Just wanted to make sure that you knew the guy at the gun shop we visited today isn’t the only one thanking you. May the universe show its eternal gratitude by gifting you with genital blisters the size of baseballs, a priapism to rival the effects of mutant Viagra, everlasting diarrea and sentient, war-like toenail fungus. :mad:

Yikes! That’s pretty creepy. I’d be spooked too. I have a question for you though.

Why didn’t you call police, and report tresspassers? Twould have solved the mystery of who was there, (and why they thought they had such a right) and would also have let them know that they did not have the right to hang out in your yard, because it was not ok with you.

Shooting them for smoking on your porch won’t solve things, it’l just get you a long messy trial. It might be different where you are, if they were breaking into your home, and making such a threat display that you were in fear for your life.

Next time, call the police, and let them explain to your mysterious tresspassers that it’s not ok with you if they hang out smoking in your yard.

First, I am terribly sorry that you have had this experience. I will, however, note that this:*

Is inspired. I heart you! :wink:
*coloring to indicate the best part mine.

After reading Zabali’s post, it occured to me that I have not explained what happened. To clarify-

d_redguy, my husband, works third shift at a not-to-be named computer corporation. He is gone from 6:30pm until 7:45am. This leaves me in the house alone. Never have I been uncomfortable with or felt nervous about this situation. Our neighborhood is considered relatively safe and there are several resident police officers.

Tuesday night/morning at about 2:30am, I was sitting in the living room, reading. Our three cats began acting very oddly, pacing the length of our sliding glass door, which leads onto the back porch. A little background- My two cats, siblings, and d_redguy’s cat HATE each other. They usually occupy entirely different areas of the townhouse. Yet here they were, shoulder to shoulder, pacing and meowing.

My first thought was that some wild critter- a racoon maybe- had gotten onto the porch. I got up to check. When I tried to turn on the porch light, it didn’t work. It had worked a few hours previously, when I took out the trash, but I figured it was just a burnt out bulb. I looked out the window, but it was too dark to see anything. Still figuring on a critter, I went into the adjacent kitchen to do dishes.

A few minutes later, I heard bumping/scraping noises. The cats were still being strange. I thought that it was likely that the “wild animal” had gotten into the trash can, but it still made me nervous. I went upstairs to look down on the porch from a bedroom window. The light through the sliding door from the living room didn’t extend far enough to see the porch well and a slight overhang kept me from seeing the area by the door.

I went back downstairs and got on the computer. I IMed d_redguy and told him what was going on, but I felt silly. I still had bets on the racoon, but I felt kind of funny. You know, that “something isn’t right” feeling? We chatted for a bit, then I started hearing voices. Not loud enough to make out what was being said and not for very long, but definitely voices. Now I was frightened.

I know that it would have been best to call the police right away, but at the time I still felt a little ridiculous. I was afraid that it might be my imagination turning a racoon in the trash into a burgler. So I waited nervously until morning. When the sun came up, I went outside to have a look around. I found:

A completely missing light bulb.

A trash can moved away from the window, just far enough to stand behind and look into the house.

Footprints in the mud in our yard.

In short- :eek:

When d_redguy got home from work, we did call the police. They sent an officer out to look around. He agreed that someone had been on our porch and that there was no way to know who or why, but he also agreed that they could have been “casing” us. He told me I should have called them right away, too. (Consider me admonished.) I met up with a neighbor at the gas station yesterday who had had the same thing happen to him, light bulb and all, just a few weeks ago. His prowler returned a second time.
This seems to be a growing problem in our area.

I won’t be shooting anyone for hanging out in our yard. I won’t even pull a gun if you’re on my porch. But if you break into my house while I’m at home… Well, let’s just say that I’m a tough chick, but there isn’t much I can do if the guy has a weapon and I do not. I’d rather shoot the bastard and go to court than be raped or worse.

The law in our state says that you may not use a gun as a deterent to property theft, but the use of one is completely okay in the case of self-defense. As a woman who is alone at night, I’d like to know I can defend myself if I have to.

I heart you, too Binary- As long as you aren’t poking around my house at night. :wink:

We’ve called the police for a home invader, for a prowler across the street, when the neighbors weren’t home, and the girl next door used our phone to call them when she came home and discovered that her front door was unlocked and ajar, and she was pretty sure that her dad wouldn’t have left it like that when he went to work. The nice officers who responded never acted like they wished we hadn’t bothered them. I think they’d rather find a raccoon in a garbage can than a dead citizen later. And now that you know that, I hope the issue never comes up for you again. Here’s hoping you sleep safely and undisturbed every night from now on.

I’d have probably called the police anyway, explaining that whatever it was out there, it was big enough to make bumping and scraping sounds and that for some reason, my porch light, which was working just fine earlier, is burned out, and it’s all too coincidental, could an officer please come check things out for me, just in case?

I too, hope that the prowlers/peeping Tom’s are caught, and that you can recover your peace. Keep us updated on this, ok guys?

I know how you feel, hyperjes, and glad you know now to call the police right away should anything similar happen. The WryGuy used to travel quite a bit on business, and we did not live in a particularly nice neighborhood back then. Add to this the fact that our house was old and made spooky sounds at the best of times, well, let’s just say I spent many a night with my head under the covers muttering, “oh please don’t let them get me…” Then, one time I heard a scary sounding thump against the side of the house, followed by a slow scrape and another thump. Scared me silly, and sufficiently enough that I finally did call the police. To my chagrin, they found that a box from someone’s newly-installed water heater had been blown into my driveway and was flopping against the house in the wind. I apologized profusely to the officers, but one said, “Lady, we would much rather be called out on fifty false alarms than one real home invasion. Call us ANYTIME you get scared - that’s what we’re here for.”

I’m very glad to hear that you came out of this OK, too.

Minor hint-if this is a problem in your area, consider replacing the compromised fixture with one that has a cover. Electrical supply houses have or can obtain ‘vandal resistant’ or ‘corrections institution’ grade fixtures that can’t be readily messed with. Good luck and stay safe.

UncleBill and I had a problem with a backyard intruder last year. We put the cat on a line in the yard (he’s very doglike and doesn’t mind it at all), and one day we found the line all cut to pieces. At first we thought the guys from the Einstein Mowing Company had run it over with the lawnmower. Then a few days later, Bill discovers the line cut into pieces in the morning, when it had been intact the night before.

The cops came out and took a report, but there wasn’t a whole lot they could do about it. We found the line cut at least once more, and another time a leather strap that had been left in the front driveway was cut.

It was always just minor vandalism, I suspect a kid who’d gotten a knife for his birthday or something. Still, it was freaky as all hell and instilled a definite sense of being violated that somebody was on our back porch in the middle of the night with a knife. Pissed us off, it did.

Bill set up a video camera trained on the back yard, and even spent a couple of nights sitting up watching and later rigged up a trip alarm in the side yard, but the vandal never came back after that last time. I wonder if the “WE HAVE A GUN” sign he attached to the cat stake had anything to do with it. And maybe they saw through the window the shot-up target we had hanging on the office door.

That’s a great idea, danceswithcats. Unfortunately, we’re renters and we’re not allowed to change anything- even if it’s something that can be reversed when we leave. The rental company has a hard-on for identical townhouses all in their neat, little rows. But let’s not get started on that.

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions and concern. We’ll keep you updated if anything else happens.

Years ago (before I had dogs) I had a pair of watch-cats. If I ever heard what sounded like a suspicious noise, I would look at the cats. If the noise was close by (near a door), they would go alert and/or jump down and run toward the noise. If the noise was in the courtyard or somewhere else, they’d look in that direction, but otherwise ignore it.

I’d always pay attention to anomalous cat behavior.

A video camera is a good idea too.

Stay safe!

hyperjes, would the rental company be opposed to a motion sensor, the kind that screws in between the fixture and the light, one that would cause the light to come on whenever anyone approaches the porch in the dark?

Might they be swayed if you made a case that it would reflect badly on the reputation of their cookie cutter townhouse community if word got out about prowlers or if something worse happened to a woman alone at home at night when prowlers became something worse? No reason not to appeal to their baser instincts if it helps keep you safer at night. :slight_smile:

TeaElle, we had considered a motion sensor, but determined that they wouldn’t allow that either. I may ask them when I go into the rental office to pay rent this month, just to be sure. We’re leaving the porch lights on all the time now, at least from dusk until dawn. I can’t wait to see our electricity bill… :rolleyes:

d_redguy has spoken with some of our neighbors. They’re leaving their lights on now as well. Hopefully, that’ll be enough of a deterent.

Could you get a portable motion-sensor light and aim it out the window toward the porch? If you could rig something like that, it would get you around the complex rules and be something the thugs can’t dismantle.

hyperjes, I’d play on their obvious concern with public image in a big way. It can’t make for good publicity to have residents of their community being stalked in their own homes because their cosmetic concerns make it impossible to engage in basic safety measures. :frowning:

I know this is easy for me to say because I’m a big guy, but I think I would have gone over to the door and said loudly and clearly “GET OFF MY PORCH OR I’LL BLOW YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF.”

…or something to that effect.

Good rant, but slight nitpick.

I didn’t get the “Haz-Mat” reference. Did you mean that you thought these people were diseased?

Most folks (including the Law and Order series writers), don’t know this, but Hazmat, in our industry (environmental) refers to hazardous material. In other words, stuff like used gasoline, methanol, paint, toxic materials, etc.

When you’re talking about the biological hazards, like needles, other drug paraphenalia, blood borne pathogens, diseases, etc. the appropriate tagline is “Bio-Haz”. Which is a whole 'nother sector of the environmental industry.

Sorry, end nitpick.

OH PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE can I have this as my signature line?!!?? I heart you forever!!

I second the portable motion-sensor. Or a plain old flashlight -but powerful enough- so you’d shine it at the porch.

or be at your light-swich with the phone handy, turn off light and swich full blast of the flashlight.

What would i do if i’m alone at home and something like that happened?
I’d dump boiling water on the porch from an above window…
my home is a house with fenced yard

hyperjes, might I recommend a handheld spotlight? My father-in-law gave us one last Christmas, and it stays plugged in (charging) near our patio door. Anytime I hear a weird noise, or the watch kitties start acting strangely, I use it to survey the backyard. Since it’s much stronger than a standard flashlight, it illuminates most of our property.

Thankgodfully, the only things it’s spotlighted have been stray cats and, on one memorable occasion, a very arrogant opossum.