Think you're getting the best of me...Think again!

The BBQ Pit
1

To the moronic, squirrel-grilling, wife-beater-wearing asshole who was trying to break into my house last night…

I received a call last night around 10:30 pm from my next-door neighbor, telling me that there was a man on my back deck trying to get into the sliding door to my family room.

Mr. honey is away this week on business so the job of protecting this house and Little Honey falls on me.

Do I call 911 and cower in the bedroom? Fuck that, I turn off all the lights in the house, grab a knife out of the drawer and creep out through the garage, hoping to catch this prick and show him what it’s like to fuck with Honey.

The ass-bricker was gone. Listen you piece of day-old fly-drawing dog-shit festering on the bottom of my shoe. I know where you’re from. You are from the trailer park about a quarter mile back through the sand pit behind my house. You are most likely the same person who stole our gas-grill from our deck last summer leaving a trail all the way to your park by dragging our grill through the sand.

You are not dealing with some fearful, shy female. If you come near my house, or goddess forbid, near Little Honey, or even near Chance, The Noble Weimaraner, I will gladly kill you without a moment’s hesitation.

Now, I know the chances of you actually reading this board, or even being able to read at all, for that matter, are very slim, so I will give you the courtesy of killing you swiftly, instead of drawing it out like I should. You have been warned. Do not come near my home, ever.

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

Honey (Who’s usually quite neighborly)

2

Brava! Brava! Good job - you tell him sister!

You were so fired up, I saw no point in mentioning that in home invasions, the weapon you choose (saving for perhaps a gun) will most likely be used on you. Call 911 next time - THEN grab a weapon.

3

“Good job”? *Good job?[/i/

HONEY, how could you be so stupid?? You attempted to confront an intruder to your home with a knife, alone? Just who did you think was going to protect Lil’ Honey and the Magnificent Chance once you were shot to death, or overpowered and stabbed?

Jeezamoe. 911 exists for a reason. Use it. Gold star on not getting yourself killed, even if through sheer dumb luck.

4

ALICE, I didn’t see your footnote before posting, which I totally agree with.

5

Confronting bad guys by your lonesome = really really bad idea.

What if there’s two?

What if one has a gun?

What if you just cut him a little bit and he gets the knife away from you and is then really angry?

What if you stab the neighbor who’s just returning a video he borrowed?

What if you mess him up with the knife, and he and his family sue you and you go to jail?

Take Scylla’s advice. During College Scylla got to play the bad guy in a women’s self-defense course.

Even if you are extremely well-trained, you will almost surely lose in a confrontation with an intruder, and if you are extremely well-trained you will call 911 and hide until they come. You do not put yourself in a confrontational position against unknown parties under any circumstances.

I wouldn’t and I’m 6 feet 220 pounds of ex-boxer, ex-football player, and trained in the use of firearms. This badass would cower behind the dresser with a shotgun while waiting for the police to save his ass.

Trust me on this one.

6

and, check local law - outside Texas, you can’t legally use lethal force on a trespasser (get a shotgun and wait until the creep sets foot inside… usually - again, check local laws)

7

On one hand, it is not wise to confront unknown numbers of intruders alone, firearm in hand or not. Unless you have training, it is advisable to go to a ‘safe-room’, with a cell phone if possible, guard that one door and wait for the police.

On the other hand, FUCKING A!!!. When people stand up for themselves, I cheer. When it is a lone woman doing so, I cheer twice as loud. Good job! Few people have the courage to face attackers like that.

For future reference, Mossberg, Remington, and Winchester all make wonderfull, easy to use shotguns…

8

Ok, I know, I Know.

It’s stupid to confront the bad guy all by my lonesome. But, for some reason, the thought of someone trying to get into my house does not fill me with fear, it fills me with anger. And a 102 pound angry Honey is equal to at least 250 pounds. And I have that Noble Weimaraner by my side. (And he looooves the mom).

I’m not going to get into what the law is in NY state pertaining to home invasion, because frankly, if someone were to come into my home, I wouldn’t be thinking about the law).

Tonight, I will be sleeping on the floor in the family room, right next to that sliding door, with Chance, The Noble Weim, by my side.

Honey

9

But does it equal a 250 lb, ultrawired, jittery crackhead with a crowbar?

Please, call 911 next time.

[sub]With that said, brava to you. Too bad the dog didn’t get a chance to gnaw his nuts off.*

10

I just want to say that I’m glad you were willing to stand up for yourself, but keep in mind this: those two ever-so-brave girls in CA (who are my heroes) who were kidnapped and raped stabbed the man in the neck with his own knife and then hit him in the face with a whiskey bottle, and he still regained control of the situation. Next time, I suggest calling 911 and then go after him if you’re still inclined to do so. That way, at least you know someone is on the way should the situation get out of control.

11

Scylla gives good advice methinks…

He who runs away today gets to laugh another day!

P.S. The reason why Scylla gives such good advice is this - you simply can’t influence how demented or enraged a potential home-invader is. They might be a scaredy cat, or they might be a deranged psychopath. Possessions are only that - just material things. They can be replaced. But your flesh can only stay unscarred once. Far better to not put your body in danger I would think. And EVERY cop in the world would agree with me on that score.

Nonetheless, thanks for a good story Miss Honey. Bless you.

12

I’m going to me_too the whole call 911 next time comments… don’t want any of my virtual friends (although I’m a lurker, I still appreciate your comments, Honey) to suddenly stop posting for unpleasant reasons… However, I’m also going to me_too the “good for you” comments… it’s nice to read about someone with some balls (balls… Honey… ummm, well, sorta, n/m)

I’ll relay my personal experience that’s similar to yours… During my younger/stupider days, I was home alone one night in my parent’s house… I went upstairs to my room to putter with my computer and get ready for bed. Then I heard my best friend (golden retriever) let out a single woof… I assumed he had a call of nature and went downstairs in the dark to let him out.

I came down the stairs, and instead of seeing my friend run to the door to answer nature’s call, he was staring at the back door (it was glass), and baring his teeth… so I looked over, and via the glow of the neighbor’s lights I could see some guy alternatingly looking in the window and fidgeting with the door catch.

My first thought was “hmmm… where did Dad say that 12 Gauge was stored?” then it was “I should call 911”, then the fun thought came to me…

So I went to the storage closet, grabbed the 500,000 candle power flashlight… slowly crept up to the glass door this piece of crap was tinkering with (about 3 feet from the glass) took aim and waited for him to cup his hands around the glass and peer in again…

I squinted and waited… when he looked in, I closed my eyes and pushed the rocker switch to ON… I heard a scream and a thud, then some obscenities, then some attempts at moving…

I turned off the lamp and looked out the door glass, and saw this idiot trying to move, and failing miserably while rubbing his eyes… so then I opened the door, made a few comments to the effect of “maybe you should get a real job and not try shit like this… next time I’ll shoot your ass!”

So the guy said something to the effect of “Fuck you”… and I answered with “Speak” to which my best friend began barking and growling up a storm… I’ve never seen a man that couldn’t see run that fast…

I then closed and locked the door… then I called 911 and warned them that a B&E artist was in the area, and “oh yeah, he probably can’t see too well right now as I shined a big flash light in his eyes while he was trying to open the door”

I wonder if they ever caught that guy? or maybe he learned his lesson.

13

I’m going to me_too the whole call 911 next time comments… don’t want any of my virtual friends (although I’m a lurker, I still appreciate your comments, Honey) to suddenly stop posting for unpleasant reasons… However, I’m also going to me_too the “good for you” comments… it’s nice to read about someone with some balls (balls… Honey… ummm, well, sorta, n/m)

I’ll relay my personal experience that’s similar to yours… During my younger/stupider days, I was home alone one night in my parent’s house… I went upstairs to my room to putter with my computer and get ready for bed. Then I heard my best friend (golden retriever) let out a single woof… I assumed he had a call of nature and went downstairs in the dark to let him out.

I came down the stairs, and instead of seeing my friend run to the door to answer nature’s call, he was staring at the back door (it was glass), and baring his teeth… so I looked over, and via the glow of the neighbor’s lights I could see some guy alternatingly looking in the window and fidgeting with the door catch.

My first thought was “hmmm… where did Dad say that 12 Gauge was stored?” then it was “I should call 911”, then the fun thought came to me…

So I went to the storage closet, grabbed the 500,000 candle power flashlight… slowly crept up to the glass door this piece of crap was tinkering with (about 3 feet from the glass) took aim and waited for him to cup his hands around the glass and peer in again…

I squinted and waited… when he looked in, I closed my eyes and pushed the rocker switch to ON… I heard a scream and a thud, then some obscenities, then some attempts at moving…

I turned off the lamp and looked out the door glass, and saw this idiot trying to move, and failing miserably while rubbing his eyes… so then I opened the door, made a few comments to the effect of “maybe you should get a real job and not try shit like this… next time I’ll shoot your ass!”

So the guy said something to the effect of “Fuck you”… and I answered with “Speak” to which my best friend began barking and growling up a storm… I’ve never seen a man that couldn’t see run that fast…

I then closed and locked the door… then I called 911 and warned them that a B&E artist was in the area, and “oh yeah, he probably can’t see too well right now as I shined a big flash light in his eyes while he was trying to open the door”

I wonder if they ever caught that guy? or maybe he learned his lesson.

14

Let me chime in and say: Please, please, call 911 next time.

Many posters have mentioned about the things that could happen to you at the hands of the intruder. I know you feel you could overpower them, but people who are desperate, malicious, and/or under the influence of substances are DANGEROUS. You had a knife; great. What if they had a gun?

Also: what if your neighbor had called 911? The police might have mistaken you for the robber! You might have put yourself in even more danger!

It’s best to be in contact with the professionals. Don’t just run to a phone, though. Go to a safe place, and, if you feel it necessary, be armed (people are killed by invaders while on 911 lines!). Just don’t gamble with your life. Think about it: policemen are trained, experienced, and well-armed, and they can and have been killed in situations that seemed a lot safer than yours (like traffic stops).

Please be safe. I know you feel aggression toward the guy: understandably so. But, what if the police could have caught him and stopped him before robbing/hurting/killing somebody else, but didn’t because you wanted revenge?

Please, please, please call the police next time!

15

and don’t open the door to let him know what a low life you think he is, even if you believe he’s been incapacitated.

16

Start raising some Rotweiler puppies.

17

You have all convinced me that taking matters into my own hands is foolhardy.

In my town I’m quite unused to situations like this. I don’t even (until now) lock my doors at night. My car keys are always left in the ignition. I can’t remember the last time there was a gun related fatality here. The most the cops usually have to deal with are barroom scuffles.

Thanks for all the responses, I’m a lot calmer now. :slight_smile:

Honey

18

I don’t even open the door to people who knock unless I know who they are.

In Tucson it is (or was, or at least the common belief was that it was) illegal to refuse someone water if they asked you. A man came to a house on our street when I was in high school. He asked the woman there for a glass of water. She said ok, left the screen door closed but the main door open, and went to get a glass of water. When she came back in, the guy was in her living room. He tied her up and her daughter (who I went to school with). Then he (for god knows what reason) shaved off their eyebrows, futzed around for a while scaring the crap out of them, and then left. They are incredibly lucky that they weren’t raped, maimed, or killed.

19

Honey, have you ever been in a fight before…a ‘real’ fight where the objective was to hurt the other person?

I have. Several times and even have scars to prove it.

Never, ever voluntarily enter a fight with anyone unless you absolutely have to. Unless there is absolutely no other option. A ‘real’ fight can screw you up real bad, or you can screw them up real bad. Even if you don’t care about hurting others, engaging in a fight is way too risky that can affect the rest of your life.

Want to have difficulty walking again? Be paralyzed? Brain damage? Pain affecting you the rest of your life? Lose an eye?

I guess this may make me seem a coward but I’ve been in enough fights my life and do not want even one more.

20

Nope, I’m usually more of a flight not fight person if I could get away safely and my family was not threatened. That being said, if I were ever ambushed/attacked the creep would experience some pain prior to knocking me out.