I have a pittbull, who is the sweetest smoodge you’d ever want to meet. But he better recognize the arm coming through the door or he won’t be so sweet! And needless to say, his dalmations buddies will help him. (I figure one burglar could save me at least a week of dog food.)
Hee, this is great! But be careful, dogs aren’t supposed to have small bones. Those pesky little hand and foot bones could splinter and hurt your little “smoodge” 
Honey
I’m glad you see the error of your ways. Scylla is right. The whole point is to avoid having a physical confrontation. Call 911 and let them deal with it.
I disagree with his shotgun suggestion, however, especially for the untrained. I’d recommend 1) a large, industrial-strength pepper spray that creates a thick fog, rather than a stream and 2) a six-cell aluminum flashlight.
If anyone does ever break in, after calling 911, you can gas them and then whack them with the flashlight as they stagger around. Most experts, I believe, recommend targeting the knees and elbows rather than the head. However, if you feel that the of the aesthetics of the situation call for the occasional shot to the face, I suppose a certain amount of artistic license wouldn’t be amiss.
One advantage of this is that it allows much more room for error than does a gun. Giving an intruder standing at the end of a darkened hallway both barrels may cause considerable embarrassment if the intruder turns out to be Mr. Honey back early from his trip. On the other hand, a face full of pepper spray will simply teach him that it is always polite to call ahead.
This is, of course, a last resort. Nonetheless, there are some psychic benefits to knowing that, while prudent, you aren’t completely defenseless.
This cracked me up.
“Honey! Smoodgie’s coughing up carpals again!”
After calling the police how about grabing the video camera and taping the guy on your deck trying to break in?
I’m glad you are not living your life in fear though. That is a good thing.
Hey, now…my mother lives in a trailer park. She’s not a redneck. Please watch your stereotypes.
The only time I see the word “redneck” in this thread, is the one you wrote.
You’re right, Honey…the word “redneck” itself wasn’t mentioned directly. But I could see it eventually going that way. Not necessarilly by you, but just being said. It’s a common stereotype that all people that live in trailer parks are rednecks. I was simply trying to make sure it never got to that point. My dad once said “You don’t have to be black to be a nigger.” Now, while I don’t agree with the terminology, there’s an element of truth in it. You don’t have to be redneck to live in a trailer park. And you don’t have to live in a trailer park to be redneck.
Living where I do, some of my best friends are rednecks (I may be considered one myself) and none of them live in a trailer park.
My rant referenced a trailer park because that’s where the thief who stole our gas grill lives. But, I understand what you mean. If he had lived in a sub-division, I most likely wouldn’t have used the same wording. Generalization lesson learned. :smack:
Sorry if I offended you or your mom Superdude. 
Honey
Buy your neighbor a nice camera with a telephoto lens, and a nice cordless phone. Give this to her as an apology gift for punching her for not calling 9-1-1. This scrote seems to think your house is the candy store, getting him identified and arrested would be a good thing. People who B&E are not pleasent people, people who B&E without first assuring themselves that nobody is home are even more unpleasent. I’d lay money that the guy is on probation, since he seems to have a theiving habit, and also could be nicely filed into the "not so bright’ category. It’s good that he ran, fighting a repeat offender who would be facing more prison time would not be wise.
Pepper spray would be wise. I wouldn’t recommend a shotgun without some professional training first. The Yankee states tend to be far more strict pertaining to shoot to defend laws.
Not a problem, Honey. No offense taken. No hard feelings. 
That’s nice to hear. Thank you sweetie. 