Over the last few days, I’ve mentally started several threads asking for stories and/or advice about step-parenting. I’ve mentally vented about my particular situation, which I am sure isn’t uncommon at all. It was about 50/50 venting and hoping to hear about other people’s experiences. I’ve searched the board for step-parenting stories, hoping for some courage/inspiration to help for the upcoming <and now past> conflict resolution. I didn’t post anything 'cause it all kind of happened fast, and I knew I wouldn’t have the time to recieve/read responses. So…no thread.
But the knowledge that this board has SUCH a wide variety of people with such a vast array of experiences posting on it, sharing information, is just…amazing. Knowing that I could post such a thing and enjoy/appreciate the responses, whatever they were, helped me mentally work through what was coming, and it helped me quite a bit.
So…thank you. Sincerely.
So you are very suddenly and quite unexpectedly a step-parent?
That’s weird. Care to explain?
No, not suddenly a step-parent; I can explain quick, but really I just wanted to start a thank you thread for all the great sharing and advice people here give on such a myriad of topics.
My sweetie <husband now, but can’t get used to that word!>…Mr.Tao has two boys from a previous marriage. They live, with their mother, about 60 miles away. The oldest, 13, decided recently that wants to live with dad…which nobody has a problem with, except that the boy is trying to force it by acting out at home with his mom. Friday he decided to bike his way to Dad after a fight with his mom. 60 miles isn’t bad enough, but shoeless, shirtless, and down the stretch of highway south of San Diego…well, let’s just say everyone is in shock that he made it the 20 miles he did. (My first response when I heard about this was that if it wasn’t over 100 degrees every day, I’d be WALKING his ass back home. With me. And he’d have all that time to explain just what the hell was going on.)
Today was a big family meeting about all of that, and it went really well, actually. But I was, and will be in the future, probably, a bit anxious about what my ‘say’ in any of this really is. I am non-confrontational, especially in fights where I don’t even have a dog in; yeah, I’m a part of everything too, and I do know that…their mom is great and we get along well…but still: I’ve known since way before we got together that Mr. Tao values his kids more than anything, and if he wanted to have the boy here right now, despite my thinking <to myself> that it was a really bad idea because of the timing, well… Like I said, nothing that hasn’t happened to people before, but in the end it worked out well. And…my finally saying what I really thought actually apparantly gave even their mom second and third thoughts and even the kiddos got the gist.
I have never given birth, but I’ve always been the Dutch-uncle Aunt, if that makes sense to any of you. And apparantly that is going to work out well. For which I’m grateful.
And grateful for the host of people with so many experiences to share and call upon.
So again…thank you.
Hey, you’re welcome!
I know what you mean, there’s a thousand unposted threads I’ve worked through in my head. Sometimes knowing what the dopers would say is enough to clarify my thoughts.
and yay for getting through the family conflict!