First, I’m not cooking for my Thanksgiving so I went to the grocery on Sunday for my standard weekly shopping.
What a freakin’ madhouse. I didn’t realize how many people only shop once a year. Everywhere I went I seemed to be blocked by the same family of shoppers consisting of one able-bodied woman, an infirm elderly couple, one with a walker, the other with a cane and 2 small children, each pushing kiddie sized shopping carts. Did they really all have to join you on this excursion??? Couldn’t you just take them to the movies for entertainment??? Or maybe send Gram and Gramps to the liquor store next door where they seemed to be having a rollicking tasting event featuring several wines and whiskeys?? Actually part of the problem may have been folks attending the tasting BEFORE hitting the supermarket.
And the lines were crazy epic long and they didn’t have baggers. And no one in front of me was helping with their bagging and they weren’t having an easy time figuring out that new-fangled credit card swipe machine …which happens if you only shop once a year and/or load up on little paper cups of Kentucky moonshine and New York State cabernet before heading out to buy a turkey and some cranberries
Finally…my turn. I hand the cashier my register coupon from last week for “$10 off your next order” and begin to bag my own damn groceries as they come down the belt. Halfway through my order the cashier stops and totals it out. I feel my head begin to explode. I breathe deep and try to remain calm as I start to tell the cashier that half my stuff is still on the other side of the belt.
She smiles at me and says…We’re still running the promotion so when you pay for your groceries you will get another $10 coupon that you can use for your next order. This ( she indicates my unchecked groceries ) will be your next order. This…on the busiest day of the year with a 3 mile long line behind me.
That turned my mood around completely and reminded me why I love my supermarket.
I got pinned to the free-standing freezer holding the turkeys yesterday at a local farmers marketof sorts (it’s really a huge grocery store). Couldn’t get out for a couple minutes. My kids, who were hanging on to the side of our cart 6 or 7 feet away, thought it was hilarious.
I decided then and there that I wouldn’t even try to brave their amazing produce section. The publix was much more navigatable.
The little kiddie carts are adorable. But I never let me kids use them when it was busy in the store - HIDE THEM on Weekends (or the entire week before Thanksgiving)
I’m glad you and your neighbor are getting the chance to catch up in front of the pickles - could you arrange your carts so that they don’t block the aisle and then use 10% of your attention to realize when people are looking for pickles on the shelf so you can move your cart or your conversation?
Talking on the cell phone while the cashier rings you up is rude. Having a long conversation on your cellphone while you use the self checkout - or rather, stand near the self checkout with half your groceries run up and the other half still in your cart, is beyond rude.
Speaking of self checkouts - they’ve been around for a bit, they aren’t hard to use. Yet it seems that a certain number of people really can’t grasp the whole “grab product from cart, run the product over the scanner, put in bag, reach in cart, grab another product” cycle. If this instruction set is too many steps for you, the manned lanes are still an option. Also, self checkouts really don’t work well if your cart is at the “I need to checkout or the top layer of stuff will become unbalanced and I’ll leave a trail of frozen pizzas through the store” level of full. At that point, checking out is a three person job - you doing the unloading, the cashier, and hopefully a bagger.
Between 4:30 and 6:00 is prime “I’m on my way home from work, I need to stop by and pick up milk and a deli chicken” time at the grocery store. Which means that if you can avoid shopping during these hours because you are retired or stay home - its makes both your life and the person running through the store’s life easier. Obviously, sometimes you can’t, the grocery shopping just ends up landing at 5:15.
And all that is multiplied by ten this week because the stupid really seems to come out.
The Humans are annoying arent they. But if I reflect on the true meaning of their holiday it makes me a little more tolerant and forgiving. And thankful I have money/car/health with which to shop in the first place.
My favorite is when they have a weeks worth of shopping in a cart (protip: never use the self checkout if you have a cartsworth of stuff. Basket or less.) and decide to start putting the scanned and bagged groceries in the cart and then the scale freaks out and they have to get a storeperson over. Or they get lazy and start hitting “I don’t want to bag this item” not realizing that you only get so many of those before it freaks out.
Years ago I was stressed out in a long checkout line, and realized: I have access to all the food I want, AND I have the money to pay for it. In some parts of the world people wait in line for an hour hoping to get a couple of potatoes.
I needed a can of pumpkin and I searched for almost 10 minutes in the “canned vegetables” aisle. Then finally I found it two aisles over in the baking section, with pie filling! THANKSGIVING IS RUINED!
Okay not really. But that was the worst thing I could remember. Actually, I love going to the grocery store.
We used to live in South Dakota. Our house was only a block from a great grocery store so I was in the habit of running down there at the last minute for needed ingredients: egg noodles, butter, creme, etc.
On the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving I dashed over there to get something, probably corn syrup and pecans. I zoomed down the baking aisle and was brought to a halt by a woman blocking all passage while she explored the details of kosher salt and jewish life with a rabbi in full rabbinical garb.
What he was doing in mufti on that day just baffles me. I remain perplexed.
I dropped a $100 on the ground in the grocery store last night, and a gentleman ran up to me and handed it back. Humanity restored!
Ten minutes later, leaving the parking lot, and some douchenozzle is driving in an out of traffic, nearly taking out an elderly couple. His license plate, “RYouDTF.” Humanity destroyed.
Almost back to my house. Driving through the neighborhood. RYouDTF is pulled over by the cops. Humanity Restored again!!!
Ahhh, OK. I guess. Whatever. Thanks for the translation though…it would have ruined my whole day trying to think of what it could mean. Like that ancient thread 14 k (or was it g) in a…
Well, he certainly got ‘fucked’ by the cop. Request fulfilled!
East Tennessee checking in here. We have a minor winter storm heading in that will probably affect the roads tomorrow for about 3 hours. People around here know what to do. Don’t Panic.
Nevertheless, when my sweet fiancee and I venture out into the cold rain in five minutes or so, when we get there the local supermarket will be filled to the gills. We need precisely 5 items and I’ll bet it will take me an hour to procure them. Why not shop earlier?
Um… Because I’m an idiot?
Wow. That was nowhere near as crazy as I thought it would be. Maybe I should procrastinate every year. heh heh heh
Weirdly, there wasn’t any blaring Christmas music in the store. It actually seemed rather sedate for a Tuesday afternoon. No panic. Plenty of food. I suppose it is because it isn’t really tourist season anymore. That is, who goes to the Smokys for Thanksgiving except relatives of those who live here? (And for the record, ‘Smokys’ is an accepted spelling for this region. CITE.
Yes, it make me cringe at times to write it as such, but I live in the mountains and the folks around here don’t cotton to fancy things like proper spelling.
I’ll bet you that the Kroger in Athens, Georgia where I used to live is a madhouse right now.
I have, unfortunately, been scheduled to work at the grocery store tomorrow night and, if other years are any indication, I fully expect it to be a madhouse.
