A friend of mine at my company whom I don’t work with asked me, “Does that fat chick still work in your department?” I had to think about who he was talking about. I asked him questions and eventually worked out that he meant Cathy. Cathy is perhaps a little overweight and she does have the body type that just won’t ever be slender, but fat is hardly the designation I’d use.
I suppose it should be out of my system by now, but it isn’t. This happened a whole year ago, maybe. And it’s not like I have a crush on her or anything; I mean, she’s my physical type, but not my personality type. I don’t feel like I need to defend her, either; she’s the sort of person who would let things roll off her back and could probably defend herself very well when necessary.
I guess that’s my issue. It’s bad enough that people get this kind of unkind dismissal. Fat, thin—who cares? If you need to identify someone as fat or thin, do so—but not so caustically. Why is that necessary? In this case, it wasn’t at all, since my friend didn’t have any issues with Cathy. One further problem is mine: the last thing I’d need is to find a woman who looks good in my eyes but who’d be under this constant damning scrutiny. I shouldn’t have to explain why I like what I like, should I? Should anyone? I’m not exactly svelte myself, so such comments don’t do much for me, but the last thing anyone needs is to be reminded that there’s always someone out there who thinks we’re not good enough. You’re entitled to your opinions and to have your standards as specific as you can, but why make others feel they have to toe your line?
One further problem is mine: the last thing I’d need is to find a woman who looks good in my eyes but who’d be under this constant damning scrutiny. I shouldn’t have to explain why I like what I like, should I?
Why even give the time of day to anyone who expects you to explain why you’re with a woman who doesn’t fit our society’s standards of beauty? Hell with 'em! There are lots of men out there who don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of their woman, and that’s cool. Be like them. Nobody’s looking at the ones who DO care about what everyone else thinks, that’s for sure.
The fat chick comment was a bit harsh sounding but it doesn’t sound like he meant it maliciously; it’s just how he expresses himself. And sometimes you HAVE to mention “that” in order to distinguish who you’re talking about. There is no way anyone could describe me and not throw in the word “heavyset” or something like that. No big deal.
Fat chick, scrawny chick, blonde chick dark chick, chick with the pimples, chick with the funny nose, drop dead gorgeous chick, chick with the weird friend who gets upset about adjectival stuff…etc. etc…
Why’d you take offense at such a descriptor? Your friend WAS on the largish side, so why should you be offended?
I can’t believe he used the word “chick”; that’s so patriarchic and demeaning. In fact the word “that” is pretty accusatory in itself. Hang the insensitive bastard.
I dated a girl once who, early in our relationship, told me never to use the “c” word around her, she hated it. I said don’t worry, I don’t use that word, I agree it’s pretty harsh. So fast forward a few months, we’re at a party and I’m telling a story to a few people about some chick that cut me off in traffic that day, and the rest of the night, GF is acting pissed off at me. Later I ask her what’s up.
GF: “I told you never to use the “c” word around me.” I racked my brain to think if I ever had, and came up blank. “You called that girl a ‘chick’!”
Me: “That’s the ‘c’ word you didn’t want me to use?”
GF: “Yes! I hate that word! What did you think I meant?”
Me: “I thought you meant ‘cunt’.”
GF: “No, ‘cunt’ doesn’t bother me.”
We broke up soon after that.
The point- you never know what’s going to offend some people. You can tiptoe around trying to be as politically correct as you can in the hopes that you don’t say something that someone will ruffle anyone’s feathers, or you can just be yourself and deal with the consequences.
Oh, I dunno, there’s something vaguely contemptuous in the term “fat chick.” (After all, that’s what they use on those oh-so-clever bumper stickers, like “Save a whale, harpoon a fat chick.” and “No Fat Chicks.” Yeah, I can feel the love.)
Especially since the term was not even accurate or descriptive enough to efficiently identify the “chick” in question to the OP, who had to ask several more questions in order to figure out that the guy meant Cathy.
Say, do you still have her phone number, dav01? I think we’d see eye-to-eye.
“Cunt” is a perfectly fine Middle English word. It burns me up no end that people think that “vagina” is more genteel somehow simply because it’s latinate. It’s vulgar latin, if you’ll excuse me. A rough soldier’s joke, substituting the word for a sword’s sheath for a proper anatomical term. You can’t get more patriarchal than using a raping, pillaging soldier’s pun to refer to female genitals.
And anyone around here knows “Chick” is one of the most offensive words in the language – right after “Phelps.” Sheesh.
(For the record, I do think that the phrase “fat chick” usually indicates the speaker is a complete fuckwit who should be given enough room to suffocate under the weight of their own loneliness as they age.)
I’m seriously fat, and I have major issues with meanness and discrimination towards fat people…but I also find it weird and silly that people treat the word “fat” as though it were an epithet. It’s not. (Unless you’re an asshole…)
Fat is mean when someone is saying it to your face and obviously trying to make you feel bad about it. I think in the case of the friend it was just used as a physical description.
And this chick doesn’t mind being called one any more than hearing English chaps call girls birds. It’s just language, it only hurts you if you let it.
These days I’m usually known by those that don’t know my name as “that skinny/scrawny redhead.” Well, fine by me.
Quote by Larry Mudd - “(For the record, I do think that the phrase “fat chick” usually indicates the speaker is a complete fuckwit who should be given enough room to suffocate under the weight of their own loneliness as they age.)”
That was GREAT!! I’m putting that in my profile too.
You have to check the box labelled “show signature” before submitting your reply. It’s the bottom box in the “options” section.
And yeah, it always baffled me that some chicks get irritated at being called that. I’m a chick, and call other chicks, chicks, and don’t mind being called a chick at all.
To me, “fat chick” indicates a dismissive attitude as much as “that blonde chick”. I wonder why he asked in the first place? There were a lot of nicer ways to ask about her if he was curious, even using her weight as a discriptor. My theory is that he was hot for a “fat chick”, but by calling her a “fat chick” as he asked about her made it seem like he was just curious, instead of actually thinking she was cute and wondering what was going on with her.
jinwicked, no offense, but I think most people would rather be called skinny or scrawny than fat, so I don’t think it’s really comparable…
It’s ignorance like that that causes these problems in the first place!
Being called skinny or scrawny (or worse ‘anorexic’) is just as insulting and demeaning as anything else mentioned in this thread. Some of us do not ever want to be known by our body-type - we want to be known by our personalities or actions, thankyou very much.
