This thread is about the same woman this thread is about. Henceforth she will be known as TLB. For what that means, see the title bar to this thread.
Saturday night I attended a big mixer TLB invited me to. There were hundreds of nattily dressed young professionals there. She was her typical social butterfly self, talking to tons of people and occasionally me. That wasn’t the problem. What was a BIG problem occurred several hours into the evening, when an older woman TLB had introduced me to earlier called me over and introduced me to some guy named Brian.
“This is TLB’s significant other,” Lisa said.
“Really?” said I, in a state of numbed shock. “I wasn’t aware TLB had a significant other.”
“Yeah, she doesn’t tell anyone about it,” Brian said. “Sometimes it bothers me.”
Now, to put this in perspective, I have spent many an afternoon with TLB. We’ve met for drinks, gone to museums, etc. She is and has been well aware that I was interested in her more than socially, because I told her so. Her response on that occasion was that she likes to “hang out with people as friends and see where it goes.”
Well, if she already HAS a boyfriend, than I guess it’s not going much of anywhere, is it?! What’s so infuriating about this is that I would’ve been willing to be “just friends” if at any time she ever said she was involved, although the relationship would’ve necessarily been a bit more limited. (What’s the point of doing things that are dates in all but name with a woman you have no chance with, when there are SINGLE women out there?)
Frankly, I’ve been rather puzzled at her supposed singleness for some time, because she seemed like an eligible bachelorette. Yet, at the same time, I always suspected she was hiding something. The way she talked, her habit of changing the subject when her social life came up, etc., were all curious. I imagined multiple scenarios, all of them in her favor, to explain it. She was abused as a child, she was a very private person, etc. But I was always certain she was single. She was just too open and honest in most things, too willing to hang out with me one-on-one, just too NICE, to be a player.
But what really enraged me was what her own boyfriend said. So, he’s aware that she doesn’t acknowledge him , is bothered by it, and STILL sticks around?? Something is very fucked up here. I felt like a fool, I felt lied to, I felt sorry for Brian(!), and then I got the hell out of there.
The point of all this is not that I’m mad that she has a boyfriend. The point is that she very clearly knew I was interested and yet never bothered to tell me about him. I don’t know what her game is, but it clearly is a game. 24 hours later, I’m still so angry it’s all I can do not to spew invective.
