Ever just blurt something out without thinking? The kind where you know full well the second it was out of your mouth that you were going to have hell to pay for saying it?
My most recent…
I was watching a movie with my girlfriend, I dont even remember which one or who was in it. There was this very attractive actress in it however, she was in one of those practicly undressed states when my girlfriend says, “I wish I had a body like that.” Without a seconds hesitation or thought I say, “YEAH! Me too!!”
A while back, Mrs. ricepad and I were watching TV…I don’t remember the program, but a woman came on, almost wearing a bikini that must have belonged to her younger sister. I gasped…Mrs. ricepad glared at me…and I said, “Uh…did you hear that?”
I have blurted out things that I probably shouldn’t have. The other day some woman bumped into me at a Target store then gave me this nasty look and I said, “watch it you putrid cunt.” Normally it isn’t that harsh but I was in a bad mood. She ran away. Phew… I may have gotten beaten up.
Wait, you meant in real life. hehehe. I have done it but can’t think of a specific instance at the moment. If I do, I will post back.
We lived in a rural county, so people knew everyone around. Mom and dad were walking in the little town, and the beautiful red-headed cheerleader walked past. Mom turned to dad, complementing the girl’s clothing by telling him how she made everything she wore look great. Dad replied, “Shoot, she’d look great with nothing on.”
Setup: I have two friends, X and Y.
X and Y are best friends and live in the same area.
X has just received a new job that will involve moving hundreds of miles away.
X has not yet told Y because she doesn’t want to do so over the phone.
go back in time, years, now to when there was a particularly nasty police brutality case in LA, yep, Rodney King, had just happened. And there I am, talking to a guy who is about to go have a meeting about his job, where he’d lost the job after being videotaped doing construction work while on a disability claim from his office job.
Me: Didja hear about that LA thing? wow, isn’t it amazing what they can do with video tapes these days???
This is proof positive that looks, cannot really kill…
:eek:
I recently had a bout with tendonitis in my wrist, and everyone and their brother kept asking “What happened? What happened?” (because I had to wear a brace). Finally, my husband and I were at a biker event and I told him “next person who asks me what happened, I’m gonna tell them that I hurt it giving too may $5 handjobs”.
So we’re in a big group of people and finally someone asks me. I proudly replied “It’s from giving too many $5 blowjobs.” There was just NO backing out of that one. I shall never live it down.
Not a personal story, but still damned humiliating… The weatherman in Cleveland (ok, there’s several, but only one with a clue about weather), Dick Goddard by name, is notorious for spoonerisms. Well, once as a cub reporter, he was covering a charity fundraiser at a Downtown hotel, and meant to say, “We’re here live at the Tower City Plaza Hotel with…”. Guess how it came out.
[Background: A friend of ours got a new, better-paying. However this job that was going to force him and his wife to move to another part of the state, so he hadn’t made an official announcement to everyone yet because some of them would have been real upset at the thought of not having friends close by.]
This social group is attending a party at one of their houses. The new-job couple just happened to have a schedule conflict and couldn’t be there.
We’re chatting la la la, when mr. genius obfusciatrist mentions something about “so-and-so got a job up north,” at which point everybody stopped what they were doing. The silence was deafening. The hostess of the party immediately stood up and went to the phone to call the couple to confirm or deny this lovely announcement that Obfusciatrist made. Obfus was in the dog house with the hostess for a bit after that!
